How would you rate this poem? I wrote it for my father, which is no longer here.?

Question

I remember those days as if they were yesterday,
your big ill eyes full of tears,
searching for a cruel truth inside mine,
that truth that you had known the whole time.
silent I would remain staring at you,
searching in yours all your faith,
crying inside for the sadness,
knowing that it was too late.
Then you would grab my hand,
and smile to show me your love,
and I would smile back to approve,
and both we promised to never let go.
I remember those moments as if they were minutes ago,
when you would touch my hair and close your eyes,
moments when all I wanted was to lie,
when I would sit next to you,
tell you that it was ok,
your cancer wont win, it will go away.
But both of us knew the cruel truth the whole time,
we hoped and we prayed but knew what would come,
and so that one day came by,
and forever you closed your big ill eyes.
Today I am here thinking of you,
wondering why you were gone.
I am here looking at the great big sky,
seeking my favorite star.
The wind in my hair, close to my ears,
the whisper of your voice,
"I will never let go"

Answer 1

I can feel the love and dedication that you had for your dad.

Save the poem and read it sometime in the future. You will find that the words will bring back that feeling of mutual love and respect that you both had for each other.

You will be reminded of your dad's determination to fight until the end and his vow to always love you.

Answer 2

Sometimes the best way to gain control is to give it away
Sometimes the best way to get Love is to Give it
Sometimes the best way to never let go, is just to let go

Heaven is not that far away for any of us
Let him go and stand at the right hand of God and prepare a place for you
Ull u must do now and make sure u live a life that will get you there
So u might be together again

Very pretty Poem

But let us not question the wonderful ways of God
You father hurts no more
He is afraid no more
He cries no more
He is happy
We should not be sad for that

Someday we will all be there
in HeaVEN

Who knows? Maybe I will get achance for you to introduce him to me someday....

Have a Good Day.

Answer 3

It is beautiful and touching and filled with emotions. I can tell you really loved your Dad and he loved you! I know of the pain in losing a loved one. It is never easy and the grief and morn period is different with each person on this earth.

When you remember your Dad think of all the good times too that you both shared. Try not to focus on his last months or days or hours. Remember his laugh and his way of speaking and acting. Try to recall the good talks and fun things you both did with each other. That believe it or not can take your mind off focusing on the way he died.

Good luck to you and I hope in time you shall feel better.

Answer 4

I lost my father too by cancer. I do not feel you wrote a poem but a ode to story segment that is very touching. I feel that you have some unaired problems with the loss of your Dad as well as I. I took a picture of my Dad and put it in a locket to take with me to a recent Tiger game. I never went to a game with my Dad but the thought of him looking down on me in a distance was great for me. I went to sleep that night and I really woke to a voice that said Love Me. I forgot what my Dad sounds like but it was clear to lock up my draining myself over the loss and honor and commitment and relax look up and Love God as my father now. Hebrews has a verse that he is a father to the father less.
And that is OK with me too...

Answer 5

I was beautiful :) It reminded me of one that I heard after my father passed :

God saw you getting tired and A cure was not to be so he put his arms around you and whispered, "Come with me"

We watched you suffer and we saw you fade away Although we loved you dearly we could not make you stay.

A golden heart stopped beating Hard working hands at rest. God broke our hearts to prove us he only takes the best .

It's lonesome here without you We miss you more each day Life hasn't been the same since the day you went away.

When days are sad and lonely and everything goes wrong, We seem to hear you say cheer up and carry on

And each time we see your picture you seem to smile and say I am in god's keeping and well meet again someday..

Answer 6

i might provide your poem a 10! Its outstanding! It makes use of such descriptive and rich language, and you will visualize almost each and every line interior the poem. i think of you definitley have a cutting-edge for writing. this could nicely be a great situation...i'm continually green with envy of persons who can write poetry. I basically write short thoughts, and characteristic continually had to be waiting to jot down even ONE poem such as you basically wrote. shop on writing and don't enable every person discourage you! you have a skills and you need to use it!

Answer 7

That was a beautiful poem, and your really good at it! I'd rate it a 10 out of 10. Good job. I know how it feels to lose someone close. Whether losing them in the world or life.

Answer 8

Very nice. It is right from the heart and will probably touch other people as well who have lost loved ones to cancer. I hope this helps bring some healing to your hurting heart.

Answer 9

You have some good images in the poem, but I think you need to tighten it up; some things are better implied than written out. I would challenge you to take the idea and write a similar poem in a closed style; a villanelle, sestina or ghazzal would all be excellent styles to use. Keep tightening things up and this will be an absolutely stunning poem!

Answer 10

You've done a very terrific job, it feels as If i were right there beside u as u wrote it ,feeling what the poem really means and it touches people's hearts. very good, keep it up. and i'm sorry for ur loss