How should I tackle this situation ?

Question

I have loaned one of my close friend a sum of money ( which is not a small amount) .
Now the problem is - its been months I have been asking her for my money using indirect means but all in vain.My parents say no need of asking her as it will affect our friendship but I am not feeling good about this as I would have never done this especially in matters of money and that too to a friend. How should I recover money from her ? How long should I wait ? She has been very helpful to me but when it comes to money matters she is not the same way.We talk almost daily and she is good to me .yes ofcouse NOT IN Matters of money....!!!! Genuine help please !

Answer 1

Live and learn, my friend. One should never loan money they are not willing to lose. If you feel that strongly about helping someone out, make the cash a gift. It is very difficult to ask for the money back and almost always causes a rift in the relationship. There's no easy way to approach the subject after the fact. Just tell her it's been long enough and you'd like some commitment to a timeframe for repayment.

Answer 2

Lending money to family or friends can be problematic. It is usually done with the best of intentions, but it often turns out badly. Here are a few ways you can reduce the downside of loaning money.

Don’t lend money you can’t afford to lend. Lending money to friends and family is always a risk; don’t risk what you must have.

Get a signed, written record of the loan. The formal name for this is a promissory note. Make sure there is a definitive plan to pay back the money.

Do not obsess over how the money is spent. Once you loan the money to the other person, it is no longer up to you how to spend the money.

Don’t expect special favors. Do not change the way you treat the person you loan the money to and don’t change your personal expectations of them. Do not use the loan to extract favors from the recipient.

In the end, if this friend doesn't pay you back, don't ever loan money to them again. Sometimes people truly forget, so saying something like "I really need money for ________, do you think you could pay me back what you owe." If they don't have the money, they'll at least have it on their conscience.

Answer 3

What excuse does she give you when you ask about the money. I would never loan friends large amounts of money. You should have made her sign a promissary note and had it notorized. At least that way you would have proof that you loaned it to her.and then seek legal action. Tell her you will talking to a lawyer anyway and maybe that'll light a fire under her butt. Let all of your friends and her friends know that they should never loan her money because she doesn't pay it back. If you don't get your money back, at least she'll lose her creditability with others. Tell her to look at things from your point of view. You were being a good friend and helping her out when she needed it. Let you know that this is the last time that she can ask you for anything. Good luck!!!

Answer 4

In matters of friends or family. Do not loan money expecting to be paid back. If you can't afford to give them the money without having to be paid back don't do it. If they do pay you back be gracious and use it as a consideration for the next time they ask to borrow some money. If you loan money and expect it back, do it in writing, an IOU.
In your case if you make demands of getting paid back from your friend it will affect the friendship. If you want to keep her as a friend don't make any demands to be paid back and drop the matter. Don't loan her money in the future either until she has paid you back in full.
The only way to get your money back is to sue her in civil court. Usually a Justice Of The Peace. It's not guaranteed that you will win the suit either. Especially since you don't have anything in writing. You will need to call the court to find out what will be needed.
After you sue her don't expect her to be your friend anymore.
Personally I would let the matter drop to keep a good friend. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

You learned that you don't lend money to friends or family. That's the first important thing...Second I would tell her straight up that when you lent her the money you were under the impression that she was going to be able to pay you back soon after. Ask her when she thinks she will be able to start paying it back, whether it be in installments or all at once. You do have the right to ask her and you do have the right to want it back in a timely manner. If she chooses to not pay you back and blow you off I would take her to court. And remember next time you loan someone money get a contract in writing no matter who it is...

Answer 6

First, let this be a lesson to you! Never loan money to a friend, if you feel the need to help someone, give them the money without expecting repayment! If you can't do this financially, than keep your money!

I think you should just let it go!!! She obviously doesn't have the money right now, and you demanding that she repay you is causing stress in your relationship! How important is this money, and does it equal the importance of your relationship?

Good luck to you!

Answer 7

You lent the money in good faith because of the trust you have between you. You must tell her you want it and give her a date to have it for you. You should never lend money and not pay it back especially with friends. This could ruin things.
Tell her now is the time and you mean now....
Do not be afraid to tell her, SHE TOOK THE MONEY AND NOW IS THE TIME TO PAY...
You can't be afraid to speak your mind, because you don't want to hurt someones feelings....
She owes you the money. It is as simple as that. Money lenders in business don't sit around forever to collect, neither should you. If she doesn't have it all now., set up a payment schedule that is written down in black and white, so there are no questions....

Answer 8

Its very tricky to involve money in friendship and most times its advisable not to, except you are ready to loan a friend regardless of when he/she will be ready to pay (sometimes never).

its not fair on you that your friend has refused to refund the loan, how nice can this friend be? if you helped her out when she needed it, she should have payed you without having to make you ask repeatedly for it.

asking her indirectly will not help matters because she will also refuse you indirectly.

you should call her, sit her down and without mixing words request that she pays you the money you loaned her. tell her you would not want it to affect your relationship and thats why she should pay you back.

good luck.

Answer 9

If she is a true friend then you shouldn't hav eany type of problem explaining to her that she should do her best to repay you. A true friend would be easy to talk to because they are friendly and open with you. You should be open and honest about how you feel with her and ask her to talk to you about this matter in a private place so that she doesn't feel embarrassed, it may take time for her to repay you. If she really does care about your relationship with her, then you won't have any problem being direct about the money matters because it's a totally different ball-park than the relationship you have with her. You friendship should survive this, you should talk to her about your concerns and try to be too demanding about the repayment.
-hope that helps ;)

Answer 10

Hello there, i would be interested to hear what the deal was when you leant the money to your friend, like the arrangments for pay back ect.........I suggest you remind your friend of your agreement and be assertive, give your friend a time limit ......also i really hope u learn a valuable lesson here, dont lend close friends money as it can affect relationships......good luck with it, hope u get your money back, i know how much it sucks it happened to me!