ive been with my man for 3 years, he proposed to me last thanksgiving, but we both knew that things were kind of on the rocks for us. im 9 months pregnant and he recently used the "i love you but im not in love with you" excuse and when i ended up in the hospital he wanted me to come home to try to work it out. well i recently found out he had been seeing someone else so im staying at my mothers, he claims he doesnt love me, but a month ago was texting i love you to me on my phone and when i went back the second time he was making plans for thanksgiving and such with me. he has been seeing this girl for only a month but thinks he loves her. i know the relationship between them will not work out, but he wants me to come home now, i said i would not , but he wants me to come home after the baby is born, said he would not talk to her, and said he could "fall back in love with me" when the baby is born.... what the hell is he thinking?????? im so lost
2006-11-03 03:42:08 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
from what u said he is really strange person he loves u one time and another time doesnt so take ur causion from him
2006-11-03 03:57:52 · answer #1 · answered by micho 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be scared. You're about to have a child and he's freaking out. But, he should NEVER have cheated on you and that is a big deal. I have a feeling that someone who is willing to cheat on you once is likely to do it again. He has a lot of "make-up" work to do if you want to get back together. I would not move back in with him, personally. If you want to try it again, make him start again. Start back at the dating scene with him, rebuild that trust that was broken. Clearly it is going to be different since you have been together for three years and you have a child, but I would not "pretend like nothing happened." That's not fair to either one of you. I personally give people second chances. But I have also been hurt that way. If you don't want to be with him, that is completely understandable and you have every right to walk away without feeling guilt. If you don't know what you want, which is where I would be, then I would start to think about what kind of person he is. Was this a fluke or can you picture it happening again? I'm sorry I don't have an actual answer for you, but I hope this at least helped some.
2006-11-03 03:51:50 · answer #2 · answered by Kat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey I am so sorry! What a jerk! What I see is he probably got really scared (with the baby & engagement) and didnt know what to do. That's a typical man for you. Believe me, you are doing the best thing by staying away from him, at least for right now. I'm all about giving people second chances, but right now you're about to have a baby and you need to focus ALL your times and energy on the health & well being of you & your baby, not on this boy! Give it some time. The thing is, he took one good hard long look at your relationship and decided it didnt mean anything to him. And that sucks. And it's not fair for him to be pulling you every which way. Let go of him for now, and if he comes around and changes than let it be a pleasant surprise for you, but dont get your hopes up becuase then you'll just end up getting disappointed.
2006-11-03 03:49:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he needs to grow-up!
He's a child trapped inside a man's "so called" body
and thinks he has to have his blanket "you" because
he can't seem to just let it go.
He doesn't know what love is and will not until he
can love his-self and grow-up.. you'll be having a
baby soon and maybe he's thinking of the baby or
maybe he's just thinking about what you both has
together..
But, I don't think he's really sure what it is that you both
have together... Maybe he thinks you'll just come running back whenever he feels like he want you back in his arms and the next he might end up back with this same girl or a new one.
Honey I'd just stay over at your mom's and have a nice thanksgiving with family and people that love you for real
and not just when they want something.
2006-11-03 07:13:27 · answer #4 · answered by TashaLynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is being very immature if you ask me. I say move on and take good care of yourself and your baby. He is not worth having in your life if he cannot decide what he wants in life. You just do not fall out of love with someone and find another and fall in love with them especially when he started making a family. He wants his fun before the baby is born and then he is thinking everything will be normal once the baby is here. He will just get worse and worse. Be the best Mommy you can be and make sure he pays his child support. There are plenty of guys out there that would love to have you and the baby in thier life. Good luck!
2006-11-03 03:54:03 · answer #5 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he is confused, doesn't mean you have to be.
You've been together for three years, when your 9 months pregnant he tells you he's not in love anymore. Believe him.......
A man who truly loves you, will never be confused. Most importantly he would not tell you this when you are pregnant and vulnerable with his child.
Your romantic relationship with him is over.
The most important thing for you & your child is to create a healthy co-parenting relationship with your ex.
Probably the new girl doesn't want him, and with winter coming, he is looking for a filler relationship with you since he knows he dosen't have to work hard to get you. Do Not Let Yourself Be His Good For Now Girlfriend.
Like I said, the two of you should concerntrate on being good parents. Find someone who will treat you right and not be confused.
2006-11-03 03:53:20 · answer #6 · answered by Nija 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's thinking he can do and say what he wants and keep stringing you along for when its convenient for him....you and your baby deserve better than that. Let him go. The last thing you need right after having a baby is to worry about this man and what he is doing....all you need to worry about is if you and your baby are well taken care of and it sounds like you have a mom who is there for you, so you can do it. I do think that he should have the option to be there for his child, and you definitely should file for child support after the baby is born, but be careful with your heart. I can totally understand wanting to be with the father of your child, I spent three years trying to make it work with my son's father, people don't change unless they want to and it dosent sound to me like this guy sees anything wrong with his actions. I am now married to the love of my life who is a wonderful husband and step-father to my son. Good Luck to You and Congrats on the baby!
2006-11-03 06:00:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As difficult as it will be for you DO NOT GO BACK!
He...at times....has suffered from being alone and missing you. But when your back everything changes and he looks for other women.
This will never change. No one can fall back in love. You either are or your not. You need to tell him once and for all that you are through. make him understand you are not just for sex you are for loving.
Then move on and find someone that first and foremost loves you and only you. He's out there but you have to just be available.
This man will ruin your life. If you want to raise multiple children with him mostly gone then go back. I would advise not.
2006-11-03 06:01:44 · answer #8 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he is the one confused, seems to me he doesn't know what he wants and when a man says I love you but I'm not in love with you run for the hills honey cause he will play you every chance he gets. You and your baby deserve better than always wondering if he will be stepping around behind your back with the one he is supposedly in love with now. Sounds like he has a case of wanting his cake and eating it too.
2006-11-03 03:46:53 · answer #9 · answered by Gwynnyth the forest wench 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh yeah, he's definitely confused. Thing is that he's doing nothing to sort himself out. Frankly he's been very immature and very inconsiderate of your feelings. Bouncing back and forth with the 'I love yous' and it seems he doesn't know which one of you he wants to be with. Honestly I say don't go. This guy has to sort himself out and figure out exactly what he wants in life. Yes, you can be there for him but he's the one that has to make some serious decisions about exactly what he wants in his life. Your baby and yourself are your priorities. If he decides once and for all that he wants to be with you and his child then you can go home but otherwise don't do it. I wish you luck.
2006-11-03 03:50:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a POS! That baby deserves the best you can give it, which sounds to me like not having him in the picture is a good start. Its better to have two happy parents that are apart than two miserable parents that are together. If the child is his than he can get some sort of custody arrangement and you can both be free to do what you please relationship wise.
2006-11-03 03:47:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋