I have been in a committed relationship with a man for 3 years now. I live with him and his two children of who I help to raise. My problem is that I want a child of my own and he doesn't. Friends tell me to leave but I love him so much. I just don't know what to do!!! Please help me!
2006-11-03 03:34:51 · 15 answers · asked by Patricia L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sorry, Patricia, but you have a decision to make, and it will be difficult either way. Your boyfriend has children already, and he is satisfied with the size of his family. He won't change. You can either leave him and find someone who wants to have a family, or you can stay with him and forego your dreams of having your own children. Please don't get caught up in the "He's the only one for me" thinking, because he's not the only one for you. Sometimes you need to cut your losses and move on. If you can live without ever having your own children, then stay. Like I said, this is a difficult decision either way, but it needs to be made sooner rather than later. If you want your own family, leave immediately and follow your dreams. If you are willing to sacrifice your dreams for him, then forget about having children and enjoy your life.
Personally, I think you want to leave him, but it's hard because your lives are so intertwined and you have so many years together. If you leave you'll be okay, though, and you'll be free to love and be loved by someone who wants a family too.
I wish you the best. It sounds like you have good friends who will support you.
2006-11-03 03:46:23 · answer #1 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
36 year old woman???? You should have found this out before you got seriously involved with this man. He has his two children, and I take it that he does not want anymore. I'm sorry to tell you this, but you might as well deal with it or move on! Why get pregnant and the man don't want the kid? That is giving him a reason to leave you later on down the road.
2006-11-03 11:42:31 · answer #2 · answered by Child of God 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want any more children. You need to decide whether you can be happy without having your own biological child. If you'd happen to get pregnant now, he would resent you for it.
Maybe if you were married and had that security, you'd feel closer to his children. But then again, maybe you already do and just want to experience being a parent through all stages.
If he can't give you want you really want and need to complete your life, then you'll have to move on. Either way, it's a very difficult decision, because there are no winners here. I wish you luck.
2006-11-03 11:39:35 · answer #3 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If he doesnt' want kids, then basically you are **** out of luck. I have 2 friends that are in the same situation. That's also one reason why they haven't been married yet after a 7 year engagement is because of the "kid" fight. Anyway, he has 2 older children, she has none. Neither will relent. If you can live the rest of your life without children of your own, then go for it. If you can't, then you are going to have to get someone new who also wants kids.
2006-11-03 13:39:33 · answer #4 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough situation. What ever you do, do not get pregnant by tricking him. That will only cause problems bigger than you have. But.... I say pray about it. He may not be the right person for you. Maybe that is why your not married at this time. Maybe God has someone out there for you to Marry then have kids with.
Being involved with someone who already has kids is a BIG undertaking. You always come last! I have been there and done that! ALSO, you have to deal with the "ex" forever.....even when
they are grown. I say take your friends advice. You are not married to this man. It will hurt BUT there is someone out there
that God intended for you to share a life and YOU'RE own family with.
Good luck and I will be praying for you!
2006-11-03 11:49:20 · answer #5 · answered by Torrie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't force him to have another child. Helping to raise his children is your choice. You need to decide what is more important; having your own biological child, or having this man and his children in your life.
2006-11-03 11:43:05 · answer #6 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him want children. You need to let him know that you love his children but want children of your own with him. If he still says no then you need to exit the relationship
2006-11-03 11:37:15 · answer #7 · answered by Mike 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
is there a reason why he does not want another child other than age,I can understand the age thing, but if you really want your own child you should have the right to have one , best of luck on this one
2006-11-03 12:14:29 · answer #8 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is unwilling to give you want, you need to leave, there is no use in stayin in a relationship and not being happy. So either convert or get out!!!
2006-11-03 11:42:16 · answer #9 · answered by voluptoustaureanfemale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to search your heart and decide what it is you really want out of this relationship.you say you really love this guy,with his own kids. are these kids living with ya'll? adopt them in your heart and move forward. if this doesn't satisfy your mother instinct,then your friends are right,move on...
2006-11-03 11:43:33 · answer #10 · answered by tinaluvsglass 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋