My husband is a musician who's just starting to put his music out there. He has several websites including a myspace and one on broadjam for musicians. I've noticed lately that he has no mention on any of his sites that he's married, but he does mention that he has a son. I feel kind of hurt that he would mention his son and even have 2 songs dedicated to his son (from a previous marriage) and there's absolutely no mention of a wife. I've asked him about this and he said that the public doesn't need to know his personal business. But why is he then putting the information that he's a father out there? Should I be concerned about this?
Serious answers only please.
2006-11-03 02:12:26 · 36 answers · asked by jazz_lover_25 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Musicians project an aura of available sexuality. Women are attracted to the man on stage. Having the air of availability coupled with the knowledge that he is a father is a very attractive image to promote.
However, I agree with you. I would feel left out as well. You should probably talk with him. If he has a manager, it's probably the manager behind all the web stuff.
2006-11-03 02:15:44 · answer #1 · answered by texascrazyhorse 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if that would bother me all that much! Does he treat you well, do you feel respected and loved by him? How he is treating you at home is more important that whether he let's the public know he is married!
It may be that because he is a musician, he thinks he will get more fans if he is perceived to be single! That is probably the truth too. A lot of times it is about the fantasy for the "groupies". Being a father is not looked at in the same way. Get my point?
Don't base his love for you on this issue. Ask yourself how he treats you otherwise?! If you don't trust him, or he is disrespectful to you, than you may have a bigger problem! Talk to him, tell him how you feel, and try to work it out. Good luck to you!
2006-11-03 02:21:18 · answer #2 · answered by Kailey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suppose he doesn't want to scare away all the groupies he's hoping to attract. Girls would be more interested in his music if they were interested in him. It could be a simple business decision, or, he has the hope of becoming a music star and have all the perks (girls) that come with it. Only you know what kind of a guy he is so only you can judge his motives.
He has left one wife already.
One of the many musician jokes out there goes:
"What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?"
"Homeless"
2006-11-03 02:23:40 · answer #3 · answered by vmmhg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. For one I don't know him. But musicians feel they will keep fans if the women don't know they are married. Just like some actors hide that they are gay in fear of losing fans. It has happened. I personally wouldn't want anyone to know I have children if I was famous or soon to be. I wouldn't read anything into it. Jealousy is not a pretty thing. WHen you show the Green monster (jealousy), you turn people away. Even if you think it don't say it. If you are concerned, watch him. Listen and look just don't speak. It is one thing to speak your mind, it is another to bring out jealousy. No one likes that.
2006-11-03 02:18:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be many things.
He could be concerned for your safety. There are a lot of crackpots out there, and you really don't want some freak who thinks that all that stands between her and total happiness with your husband is you and your son to practically have directions and photos. Or some whack job who wants to kidnap your kid.
Or it could be that the assumption that he is single (and straight) would lead to a more devoted female fan base. It sounds weird, but single and hot sells more records in certain demographics than hot guy with a family. Young girls have fantasies about meeting and marrying their crushes. It kind of kills that fantasy and makes a person less appealing when they are married.
Picture all the famous male actors or whatever that you know ... and now picture their wives if the wife isn't famous herself. See? You probably couldn't picture even one non-famous wife.
He could also be a really private person. I am, and I refuse to even put my own photo up on myspace or anywhere else, never mind photos of my family.
Then again, he could be on the prowl and hoping to hook up and if it gets out that he is married, that will limit the women attracted to him.
2006-11-03 06:06:41 · answer #5 · answered by BoomChikkaBoom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually it is rather hard to get into the music field. I would be hurt just like you. He needs to know that there are lots of musicians out there that are married. Jon Bon Jovi being one of them and he is a very sexy man. He probably wants attention from other females. Look more into this there may be other things going on.
2006-11-03 04:33:56 · answer #6 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't be concerned unless you have reason to believe that he doesn't want the info out there because he's looking to hook up.
Lots of musicians like to emulate a persona of being an individual and carefree. I think the publics knowledge of there being a wife in the background changes that image.
2006-11-03 02:16:33 · answer #7 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some musicians don't want to let fans know they are married so they can have groupies. I myself don't agree with this but maybe he thinks that women will come to his shows more or like him more if he's not married.Women find proud fathers attractive or at least some do, it might want to appeal to women like that too. Just talk to him, but dont accuse him of anything or it will surely become a fight.
2006-11-03 02:21:12 · answer #8 · answered by Jessica S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married to a musician as well. It is a business where women do through themselves at them. I just trusted him and knew that he was true to me. I also let myself know that if he broke the trust the marriage would be over, because trust is really all you have. Anyway, I would conveince myself that these women who thought he was all that on stage didn't really know the real person, the one that takes time and patience to know. I knew that if he wanted to risk losing someone who loved him completely for something like a one night stand or affair then he wasn't for me.
We did end up divorced, not because of another women but drugs. He became addicted and it changed him completely. So know that when your with someone who performs for acceptance of people you will have to trust your man and trust your instincts.
2006-11-03 02:20:55 · answer #9 · answered by corinasanc 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a good point about his mentioning his son and not that he's married. The personal business argument doesn't stand. Are you allowed to attend his band practices? If not, be concerned.
2006-11-03 02:16:20 · answer #10 · answered by Conscious-X 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋