My husband was extremely attentive to me before we were married - he used to spend every available second that he could with me. He never went out with mates etc much and always told me he was a homely sortof guy and idn't like partying and going out with mates. He would hand wash and dry his shirts each week and clean up after himself. He also frowned on married guys that would look at porn or flirt with otehr women.As soon as we got married this changed. He spent the 2nd night of our wedding ( several fater) building his PC, we wouldn't go out anywhere with me, he started flirting big time with women and looking at porn - How can someone change so much in just one day??
2006-11-03 02:04:13 · 15 answers · asked by misscynic 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, my husband was like a marathon runner who won the race...he's been panting on the pavement for 14 years! He doesn't do anything really anymore but breath. LOL (don't tell him I said that)
2006-11-03 02:07:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a couple gets married and the honeymoon is over people become comfortable with their spouse and aren't as attentive as when dating. That is life and I hope you don't feel like you are the same as when dating. But from your comments it looks like he was hiding some very not so nice secrets from you. Did you have sex before the marriage because if you did then the honeymoon was over before the marriage and he didn't feel like he was doing anything different from before the marriage then. But as for the porn, I have seen men go through phases and they think it is going to add excitement to the sex life and they don't realize that most women could care less about porn. If it excites them the only use that brain to think with. But I still say that he didn't change, he just started being himself once he had you. Good luck to you
2006-11-03 02:43:54 · answer #2 · answered by 51ain'tbad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the element approximately wedding ceremony vows is that 2 people lead them to. And the vows are to a minimum of one yet another, interior the presence of God. each individual grants to "love and honour" (or any version on an identical topic). the incredibly prepare of this dedication is plenty extra durable over the years than many people think of. And the extra youthful you're once you marry, frequently the extra desirable the ask your self of the reality. frequently, it style of feels to me, one individual incredibly falls down on their vows and it relatively is left to the different individual to "suck it up" and tolerate what's being dished out, even nonetheless it is going thoroughly against what replaced into promised to them. the reason seems to be that the disintegration of a marriage is generally blamed on the guy who finally gets sick of all of it and leaves. this is not often honest or good. on the top of the day, i do no longer think that God needs every person to be unhappy. life is a journey crammed with many many classes alongside the way. the main useful classes generally consequence from our greatest blunders. yet there is no element in making those blunders in case you could no longer do something approximately them. there is no getting to understand, no benefit in case you (or others) insist that "you made your mattress, now lie in it" for something of your life. it relatively is ridiculous. To take the metaphor extra, you discovered the place you went incorrect with making your mattress the 1st time. Why shouldn't you get the prospect to do it good yet yet lower back? you basically have one life to stay. The trick is to no longer shop making an identical blunders.
2016-11-27 01:15:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex did that to me. He was kind and fair up until we got married. When we got back from our trip to meet my parents after the wedding we had an argument. At that point he threw me against a wall. After that it just continued on and got a whole lot worse. So yes some men do change very quickly.
2006-11-03 02:20:48 · answer #4 · answered by oddbutterfly1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is true what the others say, this can go both ways. Have you tried telling him that since you got married that his attitude toward you has changed and that you feel you were given a false security of the kind of man he was, as to get you to marry him? But dont start doing to him what he's doing to you, it will only make it worse. Get him to sit down and talk amougnst each other and listen/respond to each others comments accordingly.
2006-11-03 02:13:52 · answer #5 · answered by Need_to_know 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long did you know him before you got married?
It seems to me that he is a big fat liar, and you fell for it! He is the polar opposite of what you believed he was? That is only possible if #1 you didn't give yourself enough time to really get to know him before you got married or #2 he LIED through his teeth to get you to marry him! It sounds like a councelor is seriously needed! I would be questioning whether or not you want to stay in this marriage!
2006-11-03 02:13:59 · answer #6 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More than likely it is you that changed. Men usually don't change. There is an old saying that says: a woman marries a man thinking he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman thinking she won't change, but she does. Anyone i have ever talked to agrees with this. All men like looking at porn. he has always did this regardless of what he has told you. Sounds to me like you need to spice things up a bit.
2006-11-03 02:19:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
They all change. My first husband would tell me how cheating is so so wrong. He even went to my family discussing cheating issues and telling them how wrong it is for someone to cheat. Well he cheated. I think usually when a person talks so much and has a high opinion on a certain subject usually they are the ones who are thinking about it all the time. They are just convincing themselves not to do that sort of thing. Then they get weak and do it anyways. I see them as a liar.
2006-11-03 04:37:40 · answer #8 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this happened to me as well, I had an attentive b/f and then as soon as we said the vows (literally as we left the church) he totally changed, he went off with his friends and the next time I saw him was at the reception, after the meal was over he went off again, and I did not see him or dance with him at all. He got worse and worse, became arrogant and self obsessed and just embarrassing. You can probably guess that marriage did not last.
2006-11-03 02:10:48 · answer #9 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm wondering how well you really knew this man before you married him.....and for how long?
Marriage is a two-way street.
2006-11-03 02:10:02 · answer #10 · answered by lookn2cjc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋