how can a man married for 24 yrs have an affair with some girl who is 21 he is 42.......after the affair was found out he said how sorry he was etc etc...but he works with this girl ....i said you need to quit your job i cant handle knowing you will see her everyday.....he said ok at first then his tune changed... sitting bills piling up etc etc....when he didnt quit i told him he had to leave my heart breaking the entire time...he did and a month later moved in with this girl....its been 6-7 months now we hav e 4 kids 3 of which under the age of 18 they have been affected by this as well but kids adapt well....now when he and i talk which is seldom he hasa demeanor about him that is nasty..its like we never had a history why...i ask the kids if he talks of me and they say no..how is this possible after 24 yrs does this girl he has none only a short time mean that mch to him...he feels no guilt nor remorse....how?
2006-11-03 01:57:29 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well first off let me just say most men are pigs!!! i no it sucks i relaly dont no why men do these things. they prolly just get tired or want something new. or the desire to feel needed by someone younger. all i can say is keep your head up take that a$$hole to court make him pay child support. it was truelly not ment to be. someone or something better will come along. this happened to me and my fiance pretty much except my dad was cheating with mulitple women. and my mom ended up ok. and my fiances dad did the same thing and his mom is getting remarried in about a month or two. you just got tokeep your head up and think something better will come along just be there for your kids right now. do what you can do. and goodluck@!!! it no it sucks but everything will be ok in the end trust me.!
2006-11-03 02:04:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is called "Male duality".
When us men are born our "objective relationship" is with our mothers, they set the standart for what a mom should be one way or the other, even if the mom wasn't a good one.
So with this said it goes something like this:
A man changes psychologicly about every 15 yrs (give or take) when a man turns 15 he is entering adolescence (that's why girls that age are more mature). It is in this "period" that he looks for a mate, or rather continuation of mommie, he will choose a woman the closest to his idea of the best mom ( for him and the offsprings).
At or anoud 30 he starts entering "adulthood", this is where the danger starts because he is realizing that the mommie is not what he really wanted in a mate, this is why you see men cheat on their wives with this women that are usually the complete oposite of the wives at home. If it doesn't happen right at 30 then its coming. THis is the stage where he will choose a woman for erotic and sexual reasons, not really much more than that. THe critical part of this period is that death becomes a real issue, now the man is thinking of the future, where he is and where and with whom he would like to be.
On or about 45 comes the stage where he realizes that time is running out, better get everything he didn't do out of the way cause the clock is about to stop ticking, A.K.A. mid life crissis. Men are known to do some REALLY STUPID things here.
THen comes 60, at 60 we are pretty much burning the last shots and waiting to die any day now so any little victory is well celebrated, and we will try against all odds to have one more chance. A.K.A. old creepy old men.
Last 75, well from here on its pretty much extra innings, no hurry to get anywhere and whatever happens happens, wisdom becomes our language and regret the everyday thought but too late now.
Hope this helps if you would like to talk more please feel free to im me, my handle is ttepinzon.
Good luck and G-d Bless
2006-11-03 10:19:54 · answer #2 · answered by ttepinzon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes in relationship the other person might feel like if they are missing something in their life. In this case your partner of 24 yrs. probaby felt like he needed more than a wife and kids and decided to look else where. There could be many reasons why this happened but only he knows. However, if he is treating you nasty its because he doesnt wanna show you how sorry he is for breaking your heart. He knows what he did was wrong there was other ways of telling u he wants out. But as long as he sees the kids thats all that matters. I know you feel like you deserve an explanation however its best to just wait and when he is more civil towards you than you can sit down with him and just talk. But right now u need to give yourself time as well to ur kids... Remember time does heal the heart.... take care
2006-11-03 10:19:58 · answer #3 · answered by NENA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reinvent yourself. Join a gym, go to the day-spa, what ever but change who you are. If he's 42 and she's 21, you should know it won't last. So reinvent yourself and become stronger, for some day soon he will return. Then the power to break a heart is in your hands.
2006-11-03 10:06:19 · answer #4 · answered by Floss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has no integrity, and you did the right thing ending things because he didn't resepect you, and prolonging things would only make it hurt more. Unfortunately, it's going to take time to heal. It sounds like you are still stuck mostly in the denial stage with a mix of the restnetment/anger stuff. It just takes time to move on.
2006-11-03 10:05:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's called a 'Mid-life Crisis'.
2006-11-03 10:06:01 · answer #6 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was just bored. Give him another chance.
2006-11-03 10:29:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He fears his own mortality.
2006-11-03 22:36:36 · answer #8 · answered by Johnboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋