When somebody seek assistance from me, and i readily abide, they always comes to me, ang expect me to help them all the time. And when i turn them down, they will get angry, as in angry, as if its a mortal sin, not to help them. I have bros and sis, people comes to me for help, but they dont need my assiatnce, they turn to my bros and sis, and be friendly with them, and they just ignore me. I m tired of helping those kind of persons, but if im the one who needs help, NOBODY, as in NOBODY would help me. as if, i dont know anybody, coz nobody would respond to me.
2006-11-03 01:54:09 · 13 answers · asked by jossie31 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
i know how you feel but keep helping
2006-11-03 01:57:33 · answer #1 · answered by stefan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are other people who are happy to help; if you can think of anything that describes you, then there's many other people who are also like that.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who want more than anybody else has. The people they can take from most easily are the ones who want to help. So you become a 'target' for people who know that you're a 'soft touch'.
I guess that the optimist's best strategy is to accept that these people exist, that the things they want to achjeve might not be as rewarding as they seem (if they are, then we should all be after them...), and that if you can endure the disappointment for long enough, you will start to bump into the other positive people eventually.
When you've found one, it's easier to seek out more together, and the more you find the easier it gets. The problem is, that's also how false prophets and cynical cults suck you in...
If you keep the faith, whatever your faith is, then one of two things will happen: either you will come through the difficulties and find happiness, or you will become stronger to endure more of the difficult times.
2006-11-03 12:43:44 · answer #2 · answered by Fitology 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the way some people are raised, they are not taught social skills and do not know proper manners. People take kindness for weakness and that is why you need to make sure you make yourself understood. Some individuals may be more dense than others and require you to specify that you will do this for them out of the kindness of your heart but there is a limit, as with everything. Maybe you need to take a step back and look at these persons who are always asking for your help, they might not have your best interest at heart. It doesn't seem they are just asking for help but demanding it and that to me, is not proper behavior.
2006-11-03 10:15:02 · answer #3 · answered by earthstarlatin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe, sadly, that people, in the main, are "users" and that as time goes by this is becoming more true. They want others for what they can get from others. It is also human nature to be lazy and if others will do for you why should you do for yourself. Even people "in love" - I sometimes wonder if it's not just for what that other person can give to you/make you feel good etc (although I suppose if it's two-way, that's all right). It makes me sad. I am not as cynical as I may sound. I believe that we all have these traits, but if we "own up" and become aware, we can try to be less so. I believe that as time goes by, people are becoming more and more lost in a material, grab as much as you can world and literally lose themselves and lose sight of humanity and what it means.
2006-11-03 10:47:34 · answer #4 · answered by magiclifelove 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all have the need to be needed, it helps our self esteem, some people can see that this is an emotional hook for you.
Some people may need that help, but others, just want to use it to control you and the reaction to you saying you can't help is not about the help, it's about not being able to control you.
Get these people gone do not let them manipulate you any longer.
Your time and energy is precious and they would bleed you dry like the hungry ghosts they are. Keep the faith, stay strong and see them for what they are. I hope this helps Take no S***
2006-11-03 13:57:18 · answer #5 · answered by ~~~VeNuSeEd~~~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to say no, but in a nice way. If you really did have something else to do then you would not be able to help them would you? So, if you dont want to say no.People latch onto those who provide them with a crutch and it is very difficult to shake them off. But-you are not the only person in the world, its nice to help sometimes-but you can tell when you are being used. Dont let them do it.
2006-11-07 06:31:00 · answer #6 · answered by Sandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because people don't appreciate such sincerity and generosity , such as people helping others. although, in regards to your situation, the reason they get angry with you is probably to do with the fact, that they respect you to a certain extent that they'd turn to you for advice, only for you to turn down their requests. likewise, you say when you ask for help, nobody helps you. have you tried talking to them? have you told them how uncomfortable this is for you? is there anyone you could turn to that you have respect for and can trust? say to them that you need assistance with something in a polite way and they should come around.
however, you need to realise that the only person you have to help is yourself- you cannot keep relying on others all the time. you have to be confident and to be able to do things on your own, believe in yourself and love yourself before you show love and respect to other people, first. this demonstrates and shows your initiative, confidence, will to think before your act.
2006-11-05 06:12:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It`s good to be objective. Sometimes,we need to learn to say NO especially if you had bad experiences.Don`t feel guilty over those things.You did your part already.If you needed help turn to your friends who really care for you.Sometimes friends are better than your bros & sis.
2006-11-03 10:29:27 · answer #8 · answered by maconsolviaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give people an inch and they take a mile, next time someone gets angry say "I'm definatley not going to help with that attitude!" and walk away, don't be forced into things you don't want to do
2006-11-03 10:04:22 · answer #9 · answered by xx_lush_xx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's o,k to help people but sometimes you have to say "NO MORE" AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. People will drain you if you let them. I use to take care of everyone and not myself until I got so sick physically and emotionally that I could not do it anymore. Helping others in important but you have to decide when enough is enough
2006-11-03 16:05:57 · answer #10 · answered by chilover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a friend in need is a pest. Its Human nature to always take the easiest option when doing anything, whats easier than someone else doing it? shame everyone can't be as independent as me.
2006-11-06 20:18:54 · answer #11 · answered by gameface_angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋