my ex was abusive to me(verbally),very demanding,controlling,always criticizing me,calling me ugly,.He's christian and always criticizing my religion because is different than his.Always saying christian ,were better bla, bla,bla, and i end up a better religious person,i never criticize his religion.To conclude,this is JUST the same way my son is TO ME today.WHAT can i do? HELP ME ? I'm not in control of this, sometimes i feel like running away and never come back.He's just like HIS dad,he's always screaming at me.HELP me ? I can be tough, but he's tougher.
2006-11-03 01:30:17 · 12 answers · asked by rssy r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yr son is screamin at you!!! wht kind of a mother who lets her son do that... yr his mother... yr the one who should he look good... you have to control him...he's 13.... wht in gods name r u asking....dont be stupid mom... who is afraid from rising her child in the good way... make him work around the house.. let him help you like every mother do with her kids...god how weak r u ......
2006-11-03 01:37:24 · answer #1 · answered by babyyocca 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets not beat around the bush. You have the hardest job going. Don't think for a second there is any easy way out of this. I am sorry. Being a mother is probably the hardest job. I like that you are asking the world for help - that is a good sign. You are at least open to help. You will get it then. I would suggest not being like your ex-husband and yelling back or reacting to your child. It sounds like there is too much of that. One thing to remember ( other than the fact that he is 13 and this is normal behaviour ) he is still your son and he will always love his mother no matter what. Appeal to his feelings. Tell him it hurts you when he talks like that. You dont treat him like that do you? Ask him if he thinks his dad should talk to you like that. Show him how it is hurtful. He is only a kid and doesn't know anything. Dont get sucked in by the attitude. Here is a hint - the more attitude coming from someone the more need to do it. That means he is not as confident as he sounds. It is an act they all put on. The problem is a lot of guys never grow out of that. It is not real confidence. Get some people to support you and dont hang out with people who bring you down. Build yourself up first and you will be a better role model for your kid. Respect yourself and everyone will respect you right after. You can do it the help is out there for you just keep asking for it. You are on the right path, way to go!!
2006-11-03 10:11:05 · answer #2 · answered by Jack Burton 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that you and your son's roles are reversed first of all. You are the parent and he is the child and that is exactly the way you should be running your relationship. You are not his friend, his peer, etc. How much time do you spend with your son.
You have not set boundaries for your son, and until you do, things are only going to get worse. Remember this; our children believe it or not, want direction from us. They want to know that you are the boss not them. When you become the parent your child will appreciate you more. Yeah, he may complain that he can't do what he wants, but subconciously he feels more loved and safer. If you've ever seen a documentary on runaway kids, the first thing that they say is that they wish that their parents would have taken more control. It sounds like you throw your hands up in the air and let him do as he wants because you can't take his attitude. Guess what! Curb his attitude. Let him know and show him that there are certain behaviors that you will not except and don't give in. No one said that raising children was easy, but if you give up on the raising, you give up on your child. That would be a travesty. I understand that his father was disrespectful to you. Okay, he learned some bad habits from him. Well Sis, it's your job as a Mother to squash the bad habits and instill the good ones.
To be honest with you; to hear a parent say that they can't manage their child is outrageous. Hang in there. Believe me. You are emotionally and mentally tougher than what you think.
Love your son enough to stand your ground. Think of it this way. If you allow him to continue to treat you this way; how is he going to treat his girlfriends and eventually wife? Don't give up!!!
Hope this helps.
2006-11-03 09:46:19 · answer #3 · answered by Charlotte C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, the people who say kick his butt don't realize that Child Protective Services can press charges on you for child abuse. So no, that is not the answer. The answer is to pack his bags and have him go live with his father. My son is 18, and is just like his father, who treated me really bad. Others who criticize you for being weak probably never had to deal with this. I have told my son over and over I am not taking this anymore, and have had to distance myself from him, he claims he loves me but his actions do not reflect that at all. My advice to you is to let his ex take him for a while AND get counseling. Why should you have to put up with this? Its a shame the exes had to ruin these kids, but then again, we should not bear the brunt of this abuse. You are tough, but you are in a no win situation. Believe me I am dealing with the same thing. There is a Yahoo Group called Children who abuse their parents. Get away from the abuse NOW.
2006-11-05 04:50:19 · answer #4 · answered by Janene C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to pull it together. You might need to knock him out one good time and make him understand that you are his mom, he will respect you, and you're there to help him, support him, and guide him. I'm serious about knocking him out too. You may need to go toe to toe with him. Don't allow him abuse you. Get tough girl. I don't care if he's 23, he should respect you and protect you as well. If you don't handle this, give him to his dad and you get some counselling until you get this under control. BEAT HIS A_ _, or he will beat yours.
2006-11-03 09:36:27 · answer #5 · answered by Sweet T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey. Relax if can. Try getting some help in counseling for both you and your son. I strongly recommend Focus on the Family. They've helped my family a lot. (1-800-A-FAMILY)
best of wishes.
2006-11-03 09:38:13 · answer #6 · answered by ♥honey♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MOMMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! kick that boys butt woman! you are a strong beautiful woman that does NOT want her son to treat other woman in his life the way his dad treated you,and the only way he's gunna learn,is by punchin him square in the face the next time he talks to you like that,and when he starts crying,you can tell him....he now hurts as much as you.
2006-11-03 09:43:24 · answer #7 · answered by vanislandwitch 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he's hit puberty!! it won't get very much better until he's 18, my son went through it, but wasn't that bad. I just dealt with it, I told him to pack his stuff and he hasn't got an attitude or abusive since. or get counseling if you can, he's gotta know he can't treat women that way it's not right.
2006-11-03 09:44:36 · answer #8 · answered by smurfette_ftwayne 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would pack up his junk and send him off to his dads till he straightens up . Jus tell him untill he treats you with respect he will have to go live with daddy and his new teen girlfriend!
2006-11-03 10:18:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Stand up for yourself and be fiem.
2006-11-03 10:36:35 · answer #10 · answered by bad_bob_69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋