Would you live outside your comfort zone to be with someone?

Question

Or do you think that this will cause problems down the road? How much do you bend for another?

More details...I am a structured Virgo, I am into fairness and like to keep the scales even, I won't sacrifice my core values...two examples: I would rather be poor (still able to pay the bills) than sacrifice time with my son to obtain a great paying fulltime job at this point, whereas my partner does....I will not change my scheldule unless there is no other way to compromise, for instance, his mother wanted to take me out shopping, I was busy but later told that I should of flexed for her (because that is when she was available) when I could of cared less about the clothes....sorry this is lengthy but it is hard to explain.

Answer 1

No I would not, If I am not comfortable with who I am, my spouse would not benefit my true love and devotion.

Answer 2

Every relationship has two aspects, one physical and the other spiritual. When the spiritual side is absent, communication can be more difficult.
Communication is the key to any relationship. A solid relationship is one where each one knows what is important to the other and help the other grow in those areas, and leave them free to grow as well. If you have to constantly be out of your comfor zone, you can only kiss and make up for so long, it is sure to explode.
On the other hand, you need to seriously revisit your comfort zone. Are you just being lazy? Do you really have enthusiasm about life? What is most important to you? What do you want from life? Can you see far enough to where you are headed? Are you making enough efforts to achieve your goal of life? Try to meditate on these questions and after enough contemplation discuss these with your partner.
In most relationships, a major probelm seems to be the misconception of love.

"Love is not an attraction; it can not be measured by gifts. Love is imparting virtues and higher values to whom you love."

Answer 3

I'm having that delima now. We've been 2gether for 7 yrs and he promises he'll change, and he does, for a month or so, then it's right back to it. It's causing more and more problems everyday, especially since we have 2 children. I'm coming to realize a person can only take so much. It takes 2 to compromise, so as long as that person is working with you 50/50 I think you'll be okay. If not, I'd say it's not worth the heartache later!

Answer 4

I moved away from my friends and family to live with my ex boyfriend. We lived together for about three years. Although I got on very well with his friends (and was happy to go out with them without him) I never really made any female friends of my own. However, while I was happy with my ex I didn't mind. When things turned sour I decided next time round there would be give and take. I am now married to a wonderful man. When we met we both had our own houses and moved to a location in the middle of the two properties (they were about 50 miles apart) and we therefore both were in the same position. Weigh up all pros and cons before putting yourself into a situation you may not always be happy with. However, love can win throughout so bear that in mind and good luck with your decision.

Answer 5

Daisy,

You gotta be yourself and be comfortable in the relationship ..... all relationships are a compromise. You should retain your likes and dislikes and still be your own person.
Bending too far will only make you a Chinese Acrobat .. not better at life skills.

I hope your chosen partner takes your needs and comfort levels into consideration.....if not .... think very hard on the relationship.

Be Happy !

Answer 6

You're going to need to be far more specific about what exactly is "outside" your 'comfort zone".

Healthy relationships require some flexibility (never marry somebody who is too obsessibely structured--are you?), but you shouldn't submit to unhealthy or risky behaviour either.

Based on additional details:

You're going to have to learn to be a little more flexible, IMO. It's difficult, I know, but growing is always a bit painful. Remember relationships are about "give and take", not "give and give" or "my way or the highway".

Answer 7

The nice thing about moving outside one's comfort zone is this thing called acclimation. Acclimation is a natural human process whereby you become accustomed to a new thing or a new environment. Unless you're talking something really weird, it is almost always possible to acclimate to a situation that is initially outside your comfort zone. So, I say, yes, go for it!

Answer 8

I am doing this right now, I am living in London which I hate, but my b/f needs to be here for his job, when he has sufficient experience we could move, but I know we will have to be here for at least another 5-10 years. That thought kills me, but the thought of living without him hurts me so much I am willing to put up with it, because I know eventually living here will come to an end.

Answer 9

That is a good question.

Each person has their limits of how much they are willing to bend for someone. Some would say: "Well...you bend until you break if you have to." While others would say: "Set your boundaries and limits and when they get broken--you need to leave."

Its a real tough call.

The older one gets the harder it is to live outside one's comfort zone.

Good luck!

Answer 10

I can go a little bit but not too much outside my comfort zone to be with some one Its not because that it will cause problems but because i prefer more to be in my CZ

Answer 11

Sure, I think stretching your comfort zone is part of actually living. If you've stretched it too far, time will tell. Take baby steps if that makes you feel better, but don't sit back and let life happen to you. Make it happen!