had an abortion when i was 15!?

Question

When i was 15 i had an abortion due to circumstances i was still at school had no money and the father of the child didn't work.

As the years have gone by ive often though of what he or she would have looked like. In my eyes now i class it as murder and i often think that i regret doing it. Now me and my partner of 5 years are trying for a baby and it's been 6 months and nothing's happended. Would this be because i dont deserve a baby after what i did? Any body wanting or thinking about an abortion think deep and make the best decision as you may regret it.

I want a baby so much with my new partner so i hope i will be given a 2nd chance.

Answer 1

I had an abortion and I am also ttc for 9 months with 1 m/c I don't regret my decision at all but I wont forget it it is horrible.. try to relax and enjoy ttc .. you obviously don't have any fertility issue as you have fallen once before.. .. enjoy the trying and don't beat yourself up about something you can't change... you Will get some horrible answers on here don't listen to them

good luck

Answer 2

Please don't stress about the abortion. I have never liked the idea of abortion but about a year ago I found myself in that situation and I did go through with it. People can say what they want to about abortion, but until you are in that situation you should never judge someone. It is certainly a very difficult thing to go through. Many people will say that you could have had the baby adopted, but there are so many kids that already need homes. I know some people who were 15 or 16 when they had babies and it was extremely tough for them and their babies. I had a baby out of wedlock when I was 21 and it was very hard for me too. Bottom line is that you made what you thought was the best decision for you and that baby; your decision is the only one that matters so don't let anybody tell you that you are a bad person. Besides, I believe that God won't put you through anything you can't handle and he gave you that experience to help you learn a valuable lesson. It just wasn't time for you to bring a child into the world yet and that's okay. Now it seems that you are in a wonderful relationship and can provide a child with all the emotional and physical things necessary. So keep thinking positively. When the time is right God will pair you up with the perfect baby for your family. I wish you all the best.

Answer 3

Ok, you have past that stage, dont beat yourself up about it. You did what you thought best at the time, under the circumstances. The fact that you think you dont deserve a baby is putting you under tremendous stress, and therefore you may fail to conceive because of that.

Firstly, forgive yourself. Then ask God for forgiveness. Know that He is a forgiving God and believe you have been forgiven. Tell yourself that you are a good person and what happened doesn't define who you are. The fact that you are having regrets about it shows you are a good person. You were just caught up in a difficult, challenging position. Seek counselling if you have to. But don't ever think your abortion has anything to do with you not having a baby now, unless if something is wrong medically. Six months of trying is not too long. You sound like a good person and you will have your baby. Stop regretting. Pray about your situation.

Answer 4

Don't blame yourself, I did the same thing when I was 15, I didn't know what was happening to me it was my mum who asked me if I was pregnant, I didn't even think about it,I didn't have a clue. Mum asked the doctor about abortions and I was too scared to go against my mum so I just went ahead and had the abortion. It messed with my mind because I remember the doctors saying they had to get me in quick so I don't even know how far along but I gathered it was getting close to too late for the abortion. I read up once the baby was gone. I started reading books and looking at pictures and it messed with my head so much afterwards I wouldn't talk to anyone and became withdrawn, to this day I still think like you do, wondering what it would look like, a boy or girl, so many things, but in the end it was the right decision because what kind of life could I as a 15 year old give a baby. I went on to have another 5 children and I still think about the one I gave up and say to myself I will have the rest of my life with the baby when I pass over it will be waiting for me, and then I will be able to give it the mother it deserves. You will get your baby, just don't let the guilt get to you because you are only hurting yourself, you do deserve another baby, so don't think that you don't, you sound like a good person and good will come to you when the time is right

Answer 5

You will..I promise. I had an abortion at 15 and felt the exact same way...I regretted it every moment until the day I gave birth to my daughter...She is now 12. I know now that I did the right thing, because I could not have provided any type of a good life for that child.Sometimes, I still think about that child and what he or she would have looked like etc. but if I had that child, I would have a very different life right now, and most likely not a happy one...and I am sure that I would not have the children that I do now...and I wouldn't trade them for the world!!!
Don't worry...it will happen. You are NOT being punished.
Good luck to you!

Answer 6

This has nothing to do with you not deserving a baby, your body may just be taking its time or working a little slower.

I have been off the pill for about 1 year, after being on it for 8 years, I was beginning to panic that I wasnt going to conceive and then it just happened.

You should go to the doctor and see if they can do any tests, but the Dr will still consider 6 month as a short trial phase and wont treat it as an emergency yet,

I realy hope that it happens for you, and please dont feel guilty about the termination, it wasnt the right time for you.

My mother believes that if a baby was meant to be born into your family, it still will whether or not you have had a termination, whether it is by your sister, aunt, mother, cousin or even friend.

My cousin had a termination and then I found out I was pregnant the following month.

GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 7

Lots of people have had an abortion at some point and have went on to have children later.

Just because you having been trying for six months and are not pregnant yet. Having an abortion years ago is NOT the cause of this. The average time to get pregnant is EIGHT months. You have only been trying for six. That means some people are able to achieve pregnancy sooner than that and some later than that.

If you look around here on Yahoo! Answers you will see a lot of the people on here have been trying for a year.

Also, stressing yourself out like this definitely does NOT help. Stress can put off ovulation. So you might not be ovulating when you think you are.

I recommend this: http://www.tcoyf.com This link takes you to a website with lots of info. Also you don't have to purchase the book Taking Charge Of Your Fertility to get the benefits of this book. It is available at my local library, so chances are it is available at yours too. I do however recommend purchasing the software. The software is wonderful and really helps when you are trying to keep track of your cycle. This will take you less than 5 minutes each day.

Good Luck!

Answer 8

It is a decision you made that you thought you had to make at the time. If you are concerned because you are not pregnant, then maybe you should go to the doctor and make sure that nothing is wrong. Everyone deserves a second chance but you will most likely look back and always regret your decision. If it comes to the point it is taking over your life, you may wish to seek counseling. I wish you much luck and I hope you are able to conceive soon.

Answer 9

hi hunnie, please do ot blame your self. I went through the same thing, when I was 16 I had my son, right after I had him I got pregnant again(by my son's father again) and we made the decision that we could not handle a second child this soon after we had just had one so I had an abortion at 6 weeks pregnant. soon after we seperated and I thought about my child that I had killed every single day. now 7 years later at age 24 and wanting to have a second child, my fiance and I had tried for about 2 years with no luck. I blamed myself all this time and thought it was my fault since I aborted the second baby that god would never give me the change again because I didn't deserve it. so after 2 years I had accepted that I will never have a child with the man I love and totally given up hope, and then I found out I was pregnant. I'm now 8 weeks and so overjoyed. It was like when I stopped trying so hard it finally happened. Do not blame yourself, you made the right decision at that age just as I feel I did. Don't give up hope and Good Luck!!!

Answer 10

Hi,hon. I completely understand you...I also had an abortion when I was 15 due to circumstances....I know it was the best decision at that time, I was too young to become a mother and my parents supported me thru the whole process. Now I'm married and expecting my 1st baby. I do regret when I think about what I did, but God gave me a second chance, and I'm sure He will give you another one. I've had a very healthy pg and had no trouble conceiving. I do pray to God and ask him for a healthy baby....I say that if He is gonna punish me for what I did, He should take it on me and not my baby. Good luck

Answer 11

Oh sweetie, you shouldn't feel that way. That has nothing to do with you not getting pregnant. At that time in your life- I'm sure you made the best decision and you would not be where you are today. Think about how far you've come and how now you have a wonderful life to bring a beautiful baby into. I had an abortion and I thought at times that I regretted it, of course, but my life at the time was not some place a baby needed to come into. I'm now married and expecting my second. It will happen for you and you will not be punished- BUT I know exactly how you feel because I felt the exact same way. I will never forget that day or what I did, but I've moved on and that little soul came back to me and back to beautiful life with lots of love waiting on him or her:)