How do I get my husband to grow up and take some interest in our lives?

Question

I sometimes feel like I am his mother more than his wife - I always need to remind him of his responsibilities and I'm getting sick of it.

Answer 1

Stop reminding him. Tell him once and for all that you are tired of this and let it be that. If there is something that he knows he needs to do and then he doesnt do it..........let him reap the consequences. Sooner or later he will take responsibility. Good luck

Answer 2

You don't "need" to remind him of his responsibilities. As a general rule, if you're "sick" of doing something, simply stop doing it. You could just let him handle things on his own, and fail or succeed on his own. If you wanted someone you didn't have to mother, you should have married a man, not a boy.

Women always marry men expecting them to change but they never do. It's the classic "Beauty & the Beast" complex. Your fantasy was that your love would transform him. Unfortunately, life is not a fairy tale.

Answer 3

Tell him how stressed you are and give him a few chores! I do everything around the house and I actually enjoy it, I love taking care of my husband and being a good wife, probably because he respects me and all that I do! We both work full time but I am the one who always cooks dinner, cleans the house, does the laundry, pays the bills... the basics! But we always go grocery shopping together and we have fun with it. My husband will dry the dishes and put them away after I wash them and that means so much to me and he knows it, that's why he does it! If you're really that fed up. Stop doing everything and he'll quickly see how much you!

Answer 4

The funny thing here is I am pretty sure he didn't suddenly morph into what you describe the day he married you. You married him with whatever skills and abilities he brought to the marriage.

And he must give you something: he must be confident, affectionate when you aren't nagging him, have a good personality and be dependable overall... or else I am confused about why you got married.

You didn't marry him just so you wouldn't be alone did you?

I make these comments from the perspective from somebody who has been single half his life and can cook, clean, and do just about everything on his own, and I have had girlfriends who have actually said, "I feel like you don't really need me" in their desperation. And I didn't NEED them; I wanted them, but I didn't need a Mother: I have one of those, and I'd move her into my house if I needed one of those:)

Ahhh... ain't love grand?

Answer 5

Hon I am in the same spot! This is my 2nd marriage and I'll tell you-they are all alike with different skin. And they wonder why sex goes downhill after marriage? How about the fact that when we 'mother' you we don't feel attracted to you? Men, I swear! I say we leave em all and form a female only cult where no men are allowed. (an no I don't mean a gay cult)

Answer 6

give up the dream. it isn't going to happen. you can't change someone else. each one of us can only change ourselves. unfortunalty for women we had a revolution in the 1960's and changed as a group. men stayed the same as throughout all history. they will have to have their own revolution if they are to change in any major way. in a couples relationship this is always the problem. i think every man that i have ever known is proud to be unchangeable of their bad or erronious behavior habits. they believe that love is taking them as they are and want to be..no compromise.

Answer 7

Then why don't you let his responsibilities fall by the wayside (depending on what they are)? I don't want to sound disrespectful of your relationship but it seems to me that he needs someone to remind him that he is an adult instead of him taking the initiative and being an adult.

Answer 8

Don't nag, men don't listen when women nag. If we can tune out our mother, we sure as heck can ignore you.

I work way better when my wife and I have an agreed upon list of things to do (its not a weekly list of chores - that's nagging).

Answer 9

I see you married him knowing this was the way he is .
Now you want to change him.
Its not going to happen . You married a little mommies boy and now you have to live with your choice or get divorced .
Why do women marry with the thought that they need to change the one they`re married to ?
Please anyone thinking about getting married ,Look at the person the way he is not what you want him to be.

Answer 10

stop being his mother. don't pick up his socks, remind him to set his alarm, find his keys etc. instead just focus on being his wife. however we act, what we put out there is what we get back.

good luck