Any thoughts on family law. Advise please!?

Question

My question isin regards to visitation, child support and child's well-being.
My 5 yr old son's father used to be very regular on child support payments and visitation. 2 years ago I remarried and began going to councilling because of problems with or son. In this time we discovered he had a problem with transitions. We got my son's father to come to a meeting and he agreed to help anyway he could. About year ago, he decided to take on a new job which was supposed to pay off some debt he had. His visitation became less frequent and payments started becoming late. I confronted him on his decision as my son was already getting very upset about less visitation, Plus he was acting out. Then last April he went on a trip for a month overseas. He kept up his payments but his visitation was getting worse.Now both visitation and payments are declining. He is not phoning to say he can't make it my son is very upset. What can I do from a legal standpoint? What are my son's rights? Thank you.

Answer 1

"Any thoughts on family law. Advise please!? My question is in regards to visitation, child support and child's well-being. My 5 yr old son's father used to be very regular on child support payments and visitation. 2 years ago I remarried and began going to counselling because of problems with or son. In this time we discovered he had a problem with transitions. We got my son's father to come to a meeting and he agreed to help anyway he could. About year ago, he decided to take on a new job which was supposed to pay off some debt he had. His visitation became less frequent and payments started becoming late. I confronted him on his decision as my son was already getting very upset about less visitation, Plus he was acting out. Then last April he went on a trip for a month overseas. He kept up his payments but his visitation was getting worse.Now both visitation and payments are declining. He is not phoning to say he can't make it my son is very upset. What can I do from a legal standpoint? What are my son's rights? Thank you."

There is no quick answer to your question.

You have two separate issues that are not really related in the eyes of the law.

First, there is the problem of irregular visitation by the non-custodial parent and the impact it has on your child. Unfortunately, there's nothing the Court can do about that and as you already know, you'll be challenged in your own attempts to deal with it.

Let me stress that in response to your amplification on the question (here and elsewhere): There is nothing you can do in a legal forum to make a dad a better dad. If you feel that your child's interaction with his father is detrimental to the child, then you can ask a judge to have visitation reduced or entirely eliminated (though usually the father has to be unfit in order to justify such actions). I understand that it's a rough set of circumstances, but unless there is abuse or neglect-- that is causing actual physical harm to your son or a failure to thrive-- the courts and even governmental agencies like Child Protective Services (or DCFS, etc.) are powerless to act.

It isn't the role of government to make people better parents. You picked the father and had a child with him. That means dealing with him-- and all the problems he brings along-- at least until your child is 18 years of age. That's just the reality of it. And no court can change that.

Separate the issue of visitation and child support in your mind-- and then call the child's father and-- focusing on the psychological needs of your child-- ask that the father make more frequent phone calls to his child and that he try to keep up with the visitation schedule better. Try to be understanding about your ex's situation-- because being snippy and accusative with him won't get the results you want for your child.

Again, in response to your amplification, even if you've been patient for a very long time and you have now run out of understanding and patience, if it's your child that you care about then you'll remember honey's the best way to catch a fly. That it isn't too much too ask for the father to keep his visitation schedule isn't what's going to get him involved. If you nag, he won't want to come around. If you hound him, he won't want to come around. If he owes support and doesn't want to feel guilty about it, then he won't come around. You have a lot to do with whether or not he'll come around to spend time with your child.

Second, there's the separate issue of child support. Back child support is something the Court can and will do something about. In fact, you don't even have to go to Court-- your state has a child support enforcement agency mandated by federal law that will help you collect back child support.

I'd start by contacting them and filling out an application to get their assistance. Usually they will try to find the dead-beat dad and seek payment of the support through various means. If that doesn't work out the child support enforcement agency might even take the matter to court for you. If not, you have to hire an attorney to take the case to court. However, as you may already know, the cost of an attorney could be prohibitive depending on the amount of back child support owed.

In the meantime, stick with the court ordered visitation and support; Don't make any side-deals that might later jeopardize your standing before the Court. And try letting your son know that his father doesn't see him as much not because he isn't loved but because his dad's busy working. It might not be entirely true-- but your five year old son doesn't have to know that now.

[This is not legal advice. You should consult a licensed attorney-at-law for legal advice or representation before making decisions that may affect your legal rights.]

Answer 2

Tough situation with no absolute answers... Try writing him a letter in the most positive, non-threatening tone you can explaining your son's need for his visitations and support. If he doesn't respond then it may be time to call your attorney and address support and visitation through the court. Support is not optional and non-payment has serious legal consequences including jail and wage garnishment. It would be bad for all if it has to reach the courts or child protection agency.

Answer 3

Never give up your parental Rights. Unless you are mentally or emotionally unstable and/or having thoughts of harming children. Rember YOU have tyeir best interest at heart. You and only you . The fact that you are considering signing for sake of child shows this. In todays Material world alot of people are led to believe (tageted since childhod. Moresore after Regan relaxed rules) Parents surprizingly come to belelieve if some one can offer child more" things" That will be better life for child. I know this doesn't apply to your case...
When my husband and i divorced, to to keep things amecable I agreed to joint custudy. With guidelines He was to have hr every 2nd weekend 1/2 the summer every 2nd Christmass etc. This lasted maybe a month when he never returned her. She was only 3yr. old after police tracked her down. (police would do nothing until I got court order because of joint custody. I still had to hand her over when he did it again. 3rd time he fled toNova scotia. It was all a nightmare I finally got sole custody.
The Harris Consevetive Party in power in Ontario, sometime early mid 90's I think built this state of art mental and specail needs hospital for children with diseaseor birthdefect that needed great care. these facilauties were oferred to parents deperately wanting child to get best of care were forced to sign over parental rights. Years later hospital/care centre was closed due to costs. Kids were ggoing to go all over place God knows where. Parents were natualy outraged. They had no voice. They termenated all aurtority. As a result last I heard Ontario Gov. was being sued for $$$B. MARY

Answer 4

Take him to court. You didn't mention it but its obvious because if you did take him to court, then this wouldn't be your question. Your son does have rights. Go to lawyers.com; look at your options.

I know that you might be upset with your son's father, but you can ease the pain for your son by not putting down his father in front of him. Don't tell your son when his father is supposed to come, in case he doesn't show up.

Don't waste anymore time. Just take him to court. Let the law enforce these things.

Answer 5

i myself sense sorry on your difficulty and regrettably no longer all marriages, arranged or no longer, artwork out. From the seems of what you wrote including "having no concerns" and getting a divorce tells us which you have made your mandatory determination to circulate away out of your spouse. on an identical time, you will possibly % to discover a thank you to sense happiness and the sensation of having an entire family members. i are conscious of it is going to be disappointing and hurting to work out persons have an entire family members, yet you need to discover happiness your very own way. i like this quote: "Happiness isn't consistently there. you need to discover it." perchance, you need to concentration now on the flaws and persons on your life that do provide you happiness including your son and your very own hobbies. in case you consistently tell your self you % a spouse, you will basically sense compelled and depressed. do you recognize every person else who're additionally single mom and dad? Spending time with different mom and dad who're additionally taking care of their son can assist you to already know which you at the instant are not the only one in this occasion. After leaving your spouse, do you sense extra freedom than until now? shop that for the duration of concepts once you think of you're ineffective. in case you sense which you're dropping your life, think of roughly how plenty extra dropping it would be in case you stayed together with her, crammed with sadness and trapped. each little thing you mentioned in this tale is a element the previous. you could administration the way you % to stay your destiny. once you need to hunt advice from somebody, it's time to discover some friends or perhaps meet new friends. the least complicated thank you to discover new friends is thru your uncomplicated hobbies. If it relatively is available, think of roughly ultimately courting lower back. Is there something you generally had to do, yet did no longer have a raffle? attempt to do it. a feeling of accompliment will do away with your insecurities in life. as long as you shop your self lively with your son, your profession, and your very own hobbies, you will possibly be able to sense extra desirable. tell your self no remember in case you have yet another spouse or no longer, you will discover happiness. i are conscious of it is not hassle-free to do, yet you need to consistently attempt.

Answer 6

Situation is bad. I do not see any option but to approach child protection agency.