Sometimes I become a negative thinker like him... I dont want to feel that way. I want him to take every problem as a challenge, like its not the end of the world... I learn to get something from every situation, and take it as a learning experience. How can I teach him that?
2006-11-02 23:52:08 · 9 answers · asked by joe_logs_a_co 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
We cannot change another person, only they themselves can do that. Your boyfriend will only change his outlook if he comes to realize that his current mode of thinking actively hinders or hampers him. The more we try to change people, the farther we push either them or ourselves away from them. Sometimes you find what you thought you hated is what you have gotten used to, and will miss in that person. I used to think my sister and I would be so much better friends if she would just settle down, and give up her crazy ways. When she finally did, she felt like a total stranger. Would you still feel the same if you did change your boyfriend?
2006-11-02 23:58:53 · answer #1 · answered by Jhan 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Give him the best BJ ever.
I'm not joking - depressive people are usually the best in the bed.
The point is not to TALK about the other (better, optimistic) side of life - it's much better to LIVE that better side. Use his talents, let him do what he's good into (and because of his depression I guess he's good in bed). Result will be pleasure for both of you - he'll feel realized, and you'll be satisfied.
2006-11-03 07:54:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Listen to me "girlfriend" - You can't change the horse, only the rider!!! Get it? Stop trying to change him, you never will, this is who he is - and why did you fall in love with him? well because he was different then you... leave it that way .. how you envision the world, is your projection .. as your relationship grows (if it does) . he will learn by example .. mistake... all the ups and downs in life are the Best Teacher and nothing you do or say to him will be effective! He has to learn on his OWN.
2006-11-03 07:58:26 · answer #3 · answered by peaches 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Except that you can't change anyone...
You met him as a pessimist, fell in love with a pessimist so why change him...
Maybe you should find someone whom is more adventuress, with your spirt and get up in life....
He will never change nor you...
Be happy lifes to short to even begin to change anyone....
2006-11-03 13:51:42 · answer #4 · answered by loulou777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't. first our personalities are formed by the time we're about 5 0r 6 yrs ol and to change from a pess. to an opt. would simply be a mask. he may learn one day but sometimes you have to experience something awful and want to make a change.
2006-11-03 07:55:37 · answer #5 · answered by uknowme 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Help him to see the positive aspect, but keep in mind that some people are just dour naturally
2006-11-03 07:54:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
i dont' know if its possible... i had an ex who was very pessismistic.. and was always looking on the down side of everything.. never the positve...
i'm not dating him anymore
its get so tiring after awhile
2006-11-03 07:55:31 · answer #7 · answered by steph 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You can't change other people. You can only change how you react to them.
2006-11-03 08:00:14 · answer #8 · answered by kattsia 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Dumb him for a while
2006-11-03 07:54:00 · answer #9 · answered by Cat Stevens 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋