Dilemna about friends, what should i do?

Question

Basically, i've got a cousin who's got a dilemna and doesn't know what to do about her friends:
She's been homeschooled all her life, and last year her parents tried to put her in a private school. She went, and made friend, but only staid a year because of financial problems. When she left, she wanted to stay in touch, but the friends stopped calling or emailing.
Lately however, she's been getting lot of phone calls from them, and she's admitted that her 'friends' were just claling to ask her to do their homework for them. She told me that she doesn't mind, because it's only english hw and it's quite easy for her (she's smart!) but she was really hurt that they only called for hw, she feels she's being used.
She's got a choice between these solutions:
1)Should she tell them right out 1 day on the phone that they've hurt her and explain why,
2)Ignore their calls and/or emails and simply cut off contacts like this
3)Should she go on pretending and stay friends even if she's hurt?

Answer 1

Tell your cousin that if she is happy being friends with them ,when they are clearly using her thats fine but she will feel a lot better if she stands up for herself and either just tells them or cuts them off !!

Answer 2

You will find that through life friends come and go.

Even friends who were your 'best friend' for many years will grow up, change and you can just out grow each other.

There must be a point in all relationships where one side has been doing all the work to keep things going suddenly says no more.

It is difficult when your friends are very few but lets get things right here, these people are not friends.
They are just people she once knew who are now taking advantage of a situation, i.e. her being a bit of a doormat,

It's a difficult situation to give your only friends the push when your feeling lonely anyway but she will never find new ones while hanging onto these users.

Get rid and more on, there will be no chance of moving on while they are still around.

Answer 3

She is obviously very lonely , tell her to ignore these selfish brats and take up swimming or dancing or even pool , she needs to interact with others her age on an equal level .

It is very hard to meet new people while alone (school forces this on us), so why don't you go out with her for a couple of weeks to places where she can meet people , before long people will come to recognise you both and make friends and so you can start removing yourself from company (ask to meet her there and turn up 45 minutes late)

And there you have it she knows enough people to pick and choose who are friends and who ain't .

Answer 4

The fragility of friendships that were supossedly unbreakable is just another hard slap of reality. The only constant is this world is change. (Some) good things wun last, just like how 50% sales at Mango wun last. =)

but perhaps its the treasured memories of the past and hopeful anticipation for the future which keeps us going on this seemingly never ending road of life..


she should have do choice 1!!!!!!!!1

Answer 5

Definately NOT #3!
I think she may be ridiculed or humiliated if she just came out and said she was hurt and such, but I think she should do what they did to her. Cut them off. Don't answer any of the calls, texts, e-mails, instant messages. If she has some of their homework, keep it and let them get a lesson when it's not turned in at the deadline.

Answer 6

Option #2, definitely. Your cousin should not help these so-called 'friends' with their homework, even if she doesn't mind. She should get rid of these 'friends' ASAP - if they get good marks for their homework, she won't get an ounce of thanks for it. As a homeschooled person myself, if she joins clubs, groups etc and gets involved in new hobbies, she'll have plenty of opportunities to make new friends who won't take her for granted. If in time they decide to call asking why she doesn't talk to them anymore, then she should use option #1 and then cut them off. I've had my fair share of people like those, but this has worked for me. Hope this helps.

Answer 7

solution 1 def, that way they either have to chance to say sorry and they didn't meant to hurt her feelings cos this may very well be the case or on the other hand she will find out if they are true friends or just using her, and frankly does anyone want people to use them!

Answer 8

To be honest I think she needs to realise that that is not true friendship. She should ignore them and get on with meeting decent people who will not take her for advantage. These friends are probably laughing behind her back and she's naively allowing them.

GET OUT KID

Answer 9

Maybe they don't realise just how they are hurting her. Let her come out in the open and let them know exactly how she feels. At times we hurt others unintentionally, you'll be supprised to see how sorry they might be if they didn't mean it. Just give it a try

Answer 10

These people aren't friends. They are users
.
Your cousin should talk to them face to face and say that anyone who attempts to use her like that are not her friends. and that she will no longer do their work which they get all the credit for.

If your cousin is as smart as you say she is, she will walk away and make friends who actually respect her.