I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I have found out that he has cheated on me with the same girl. I walked in on them while they were getting up to things. But since this has been happening my life has been going down hill and i have become depressive and i have been doing body harm all over my body. Everytime i ask my boyfriend why he did it he hits me and it frightens me but im too scared to leave him because of things he knows about me which are personal. What shall i do please HELP ME!!!!!
2006-11-02 22:37:08 · 50 answers · asked by Dannie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Wake up,and take off the rose coloured glasses.No sorry I`ll try not to be too hard on You.So what He knows stuff.He`s also got power over You.It`s time to get in the driver`s seat and take control of Your own life.He doesn`t give a s*it about You.Unless You take action it`s never gonna sort itself.Love Yourself first,not some piece of poop.The same girl is worse than 4 different ones isn`t it?This is serious,if You dont do something positive for Yourself no-one else is.You owe it to Your self respect.Get out of that relationship You are on self-dstruct...what`s next suicide.?
2006-11-02 22:58:58 · answer #1 · answered by JULIA E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im really sorry to hear that. This is probably what you expect to hear but dont want to hear it. I can sympathise with you as i have had a similar situation. 4 years is a long time and whats probably happened is you feel you cant be without him. He probably has security issues but by no means should any man lift a hand to a woman. You dont need it. I know its really hard the thought of leaving him but its happened more than once with the same girl and if there is no trust and he treats you the way he does then hes not right for you. No one can tell you what to do, only you can make that choice but think of where you were to where you are now. It may be hard at first but after some time and space you will find your feet again.
2006-11-02 23:26:15 · answer #2 · answered by Suzie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is so wrong on so many levels.
First of all, he is abusive. How dare he sleep around on you and then hit you and frighten you when you ask for an explanation.
Second of all, whatever he knows about you is not worth you staying around him just to get hit or have him sleep with this girl again. As for what he knows about you, so what! You can always tell people he's lying if he does decide to talk about your secrets.
Third, what are you doing self-harming? What on earth are you punishing yourself for? I know this type of thing is supposed to release pressure for self-harmers but it is wrong, wrong, wrong.
Your body is precious.
You need to get some help to address the reasons why your self-esteem is so low.
Protect yourself first. No one is worth what you are putting yourself through, love or not.
Get away from him. Get some help through your doctor. You deserve a lot better than this. Believe it. Good luck.
2006-11-03 00:42:32 · answer #3 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You certainly need help, your mentally insane!
Wake up and smell the roses.
This guy is having a laugh at your expense, ever heard about having your cake and eating it?
He's got you so down and depressed your self worth has droped to nothing which is why your trying desperately to hang onto him.
This guy in no good, period.
He's violent so you need to pack up your things when he's out and get the hell out of there, get some help and a place to move into, if your not living with him then this should be 1000 times easier.
Some people are manipulative and he's destroying your self esteem to keep you where he wants you, this little girl who will do what he wants, if this was your best friend you'd be screaming at her to get out.
Everyone on here will say the same thing to you, the real question is wether your prepared to listen.
2006-11-02 22:46:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
How has your life been going downhill? Surely he should be the one to feel that way. And surely there isn't anything that he could know about you that would make you that scared to leave him if being with him is making you self-harm and results in you being abused. Whatever it is that you think he knows or that he taunts you about, it cannot be that bad that you need to stay here.
If the things that he knows about you are something that would make your parents embarrassed or upset with you, why don't you tell them yourself before he does and then he cannot blackmail you because that's what it is. He just wants to keep you there as a punchbag and as a bit of stuff for when this other bird doesn't want him.
He's a loser and the sooner you're out of there, the better. The other woman is welcome to him. It seems to me that this man is a bully and maybe perhaps in a subconscious way you get something out of being his victim. Pluck up the courage to say to him, 'Stick it up your harris, I'm off. Kick seven shades out of your other girlfriend, I'm worth more'. Go to your local police station and ask them for details of your local women's refuge if you feel you can't go home. They will also try to gently encourage you to press charges against this creep. Try to do that as it may make you feel more in control of your life than you do at present.
I know it's easy for me to sit here and say this but you can see that this is a downward spiral for you and there can only ever really be one outcome if you don't leave now. You know what I mean. By leaving on your own terms, taking control of your future and doing things by yourself without this earthworm you will move to a brighter place and see a future for yourself.
You cannot stay in this relationship and survive and no matter what you think, you cannot save him. All you can hope is that in leaving him to get on with it he will realise for himself what a bullying lowlife he really is and seek the help he obviously needs. Move on to bigger and better things; your future is up to you.
2006-11-02 22:52:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know leaving him is easier said than done and if it was that easy you would have done it by now, you know you shouldnt be with him but love makes us do stupid things. Have you got a good friend who is single? remind yourself of all the things which you hate about him,make youself sick at the evn thought of him. in your case this is very easy he is a rotten toad.. walk away and promise yourself not to go back.... keep your mind busy from thinking about him... go out with your mates/mate.. try to have fun think of all the good things you can now do now your single.. all those nice men who will treat you well, someone who you can have a happy future with.
Dont worry about him knowing everything about you... whats the worst can happen !! it will all be in past and one day it will not mean a thing to you.Dont waste your life or your life will be filled with regret.he will never change no matter how much you hope
2006-11-03 12:16:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do we constantly allow guys to depict the way we feel or behave.
I'm sure most of us feel that we are independent self-reliant women yet when a guy doesn't call, we feel like ****. Suddenly we are no longer confident. Does he not like me anymore? Like wat the ****. I need to get off that hook. I need to think that i can move on. I know i can but i need time. After that i want no more emotional attachments cos they eventually hurt u. But i know no matter how much u tell urself to keep things simple..it becomes complicated.
Sch is ******* stressful with mid-terms on their way and project deadlines approaching like a looming dark cloud. Life has never been this stressful and boring. It's a routine. Sch-project meeting-home. But i dun think i can handle any distraction. It'll be too hectic. But my darlings..u can come and disturb me anytime. I appreciate the asking of my well being and concern from u people. It really helps.
I just want to make sure i never fall into the trap again. No matter how shitty or boring life can be..it's still better than having ur heart heaved out of ur body and being trampled on.
When i see someone in love, i feel like yanking their heads out and filling it with hate. I wonder what's so especially abt love that one actually forgets his own identity? I'm not toking without experience..Infact i can say with much certainty that I hate the feeling of being in love..It makes u weak, vulnerable, clingy, wide-eyed, dreamy and so many other words i can come out with that associate back to being a loser.. Where's the strong, up-town, sophisticated, I-Know-i can -make-it on-my-own woman? I'm really a huge feminist.. which is why i dun give a **** abt what a guy has to offer me cos it's never enough and also i can get watever i want myself!
2006-11-02 22:50:00 · answer #7 · answered by Princess illusion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever hear him say he loved you? or did he ever show it to you once? If the answer is no to both questions, you should leave him. Because although he has secrets about you, you have some about him too. I mean he knows that you are a very weak woman and he doesn't even try to make any effort to abuse you physically and emotionally. Leave the bastard, I'm pretty sure if you do, he'll have other women to console him.
2006-11-03 05:21:53 · answer #8 · answered by meamy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your depressed because your self esteem is so low. You know that your situation is wrong and really you actually love him. Its just because you dont know anything else.
Dump him, next time he hits you call the Police. Stop hurting yourself and take control of your life, stop letting other people control you. Only you can do it. You know its wrong
YOU ARE A BIG GIRL NOW AND YOU DONT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS CRAP!!
2006-11-03 01:08:58 · answer #9 · answered by simon m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's hitting you, then go to the police quick!!! And this kind of a problem cannot be solved by an answer on yahoo answers, you need a professional to help you. But you have to dump that son of a *****. You love him, but he doesn't respect, doesn't care about you. Get out, right now, before something horrible happens to you!!!
2006-11-02 22:43:35 · answer #10 · answered by Nayan B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋