We were together during our teen years but the timing isn't right for neither of us because both of us were involved with other people. It's causing me so much sadness. I want to talk to him more and I miss him so much that it hurts. Help. I know that there is no future for us because I'm determined to keep my marriage and yet it's also tearing me up inside. He doesn't know that I feel this way. I would rather appear to be cool about it. I just wish that he is always alright and happy with the life that he has. I never thought I could ever feel this way towards someone. I tried to forget about him before and I'm going to do it again. I hope this time I could.
2006-11-02 22:33:37 · 18 answers · asked by janice 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it already went to the physical aspect of it a couple of days ago. after that i tried to forget it and limit communications. my husband is not with me because of his work. He needs to be away for long periods of time. He is not in a military. I've always stayed faithful to him eventhough there had been a lot of temptations but this time it's different. I don't know what happened but it did. Probably feelings that I denied that I had. I'll just drink and go to sleep. He lives in another city and once he moves away then I'm probably going to be fine. Just need to keep myself busy with other things. He tells me he is not happy with his wife and that he might divorce her eventually. I never said anything like that about my husband because I would try to make the marriage work and stay married until the end of time. I've never told the other man how I feel about him. I don't know why. I never did during our teen years and I dont know if I ever will.
2006-11-02 22:58:49 · update #1
I'm surprised with all the details that he remembers about the past and how he felt that time about me but then he realized that i will never leave my boyfriend that time. Now, it's still the same. It's just that I dont want to talk about it with him. I just want to enjoy his company but this time, I cant do that anymore without falling into a path that would probably lead to destruction and people ending up getting hurt. What would you do if you were in my situation?
2006-11-02 23:04:25 · update #2
the physical part only happened once and I promised myself it wont happen again. so, i am not whoring around.
2006-11-03 00:45:18 · update #3
It wasn't meant to be when you two were teenagers and it still is not meant to be because of the fact you are a married woman and he is a married man. Sounds as though things went to far when you should of cut it off before that happened. You just do not accidentally fall into bed with someone. Those feeling should of been gone long long ago. You might want to look into your marriage and see what you think might be missing. I would never want to be with an ex they are an ex for a reason.
2006-11-03 05:08:09 · answer #1 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're doing the grass is greener on the other side scenario....Trust me----what appears to be grass on the other side is only a facade ----It looks like grass from a distance but once you cross the road and get to the other side you find that there is nothing but weeds that look like grass.
You have a family, a husband and security----Quit obcessing about the would've, could've might've and the things of the past----they're past and should just remain a memory (fond memory)!!
Think of your husband and what effect this would have on him and your children!
If you cross the line and take that walk across to the other side of the road with the hopes of being fulfilled and the happily ever after you're going to be badly mistaken and the outcome for you will be devastating! You'll loose everything including the respect your husband and your children have for you!!
2006-11-02 22:54:16 · answer #2 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is not there because he is working to support you and your family. Does he deserve this? Does your family deserve to be ripped apart for your infatuation with an old love? The answer is probably NO. This other guy is not happy in a marriage where he is home every day. Do you think he can maintain that with you. Quit cheating. It can only complicate your life. If you cannot get the sex without getting attached, quit it. You do not need this and he should not be complicating his and your lives working on fond memories.
2006-11-02 23:57:22 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel so sorry for each of your families. If your husband finds out he will have grounds to have you declared an unfit mother and get full custody of the children. You aren't thinking clearly at all. You deserve all the pain you are feeling and more. Shallow, Shallow Shallow.
There isn't a single excuse you can come with to justify betraying your family and whoring around.
2006-11-03 00:16:59 · answer #4 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're really in a mess! It's never a good idea to leave one relationship for another one. It sounds like your marriage isn't doing very well either. You need to decide what you want, but start with your marriage first. Either honor your marriage, or get out of it. As for your old boyfriend, he's in a situation too, and I wouldn't count on him to be there for you. You might want to consider counseling, and get yourself together before making any life-altering decisions. Good luck!
2006-11-02 23:08:22 · answer #5 · answered by grandm 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the anxiety is that great you need to seek counseling. I f not then I believe all that energy you spend on thinking and the passion you wonder about needs to be given to you husband. If you gave it to your husband I bet your marriage would be driven to new heights. Your husband should appreciate the attention and you will probably receive more attention from him. You do love your husband ? Don't you? Then fall back in love with him thruogh your actions.
2006-11-02 22:45:34 · answer #6 · answered by MeToo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It hurts trust me I know. You just have move on with your married life and forget being with him. If you keep in contact and end up meeting it can lead to some serious trouble. You have to think of your husband let alone your kids. You would not want them to do that in their marriage would ya?
2006-11-02 22:40:26 · answer #7 · answered by shyhonney 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are talking about and how much it hurts, you still need to have self-control and resist temptation. Marriages are fragile and even more impressionable are kids' hearts and as parents and married women, we know that even if it breaks our hearts, we have to sacrifice for our happiness, so that our children and spouses can keep their smiles. Plus, the man may not even be aware of anything and hinting it to him may only lead to his unhappiness too.
2006-11-02 22:42:22 · answer #8 · answered by Smriti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are headed down a path that will hurt many people if you continue. You both need to take your marriages seriously and cool the outside activity.
Good Luck and God Bless!
2006-11-02 22:35:51 · answer #9 · answered by msqtech 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to forget about him. Do not see him and do not talk to him. If you do it will get worse. It takes about a year to get over someone so do other things. Get interested in something new and give all the sexual energy and attention you want to give to your old love to the love in your life. If people paid more attention to their spouse they wouldn't think about other people. Good luck!
2006-11-02 23:01:05 · answer #10 · answered by SheRa 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋