What do you do when life hasn't gone the way you thought it would?

Question

Is there a good book out there for that? Maybe if I would've planned better. I feel like my life like 2/3 of it is like one mistake after another. That's why I'm so leary about making decisions: I always feel I'm going to regret them later.

I had dreams of adopting a child since I was a child. I have always been athletic but didn't dream about getting severe thyroid problems affecting my self esteem, my weight (I gained tons), and health. I always thought I'd be healthy and fit. I'd be a teacher or something in a nice house. Not living paycheck to paycheck my whole life, always struggling to make ends meet no matter if 5 years pass we always live paycheck to paycheck! I'm sure 10 year olds don't sit around thinking they would live that way!

(okay it's not all bad. I did get two degrees, we do own our own home, etc.)

Answer 1

I'm going to share with you something I normally DON'T do and that is to share my personnel life with you to try and help you feel better. Life is not a bed of roses but...it is what you make it and even though it has it's ups and downs...it seems to have more downs than ups! Four years ago. I was making a $75,000.00 income doing what I spent 14 years trying to get to. I was healthy, I worked a 60 hour work week, spent my weekends fighting bulls as a rodeo clown, my weight was 180 pounds,very muscular, had a following of men and women that thought I walked on water(because I treat people the way I want to be treated with respect) and everything was set in my life. The only thing in life that I was wanting and most important to me was winning one last Bull Riding gold Buckle ( I've won 28 and 7 championships) and that would have came from Old Timers Rodeo Asso. Life couldn't get any better in any way. Hell, even my sex life was more than most men only dream and fantasize about! July 30, 2002, I was running a trucking company as an Operations Manager and only because I am who I am, I decided to jump into a semi that was sitting in the yard and make a day's revenue just for the extra money for the company (not me) and the air seat went out and when I went over a cattle guard my Lumbar spine blew out. L1,L2, L3 blew out, L4 herniated and L5/S1 crushed. Today, I'm over a hundred pounds over weight,My bull ridding and bull fighting days are gone, I don't train and show horses any more, I can't remember when was the last time I went hunting or fishing and I live a life in pain and on Narcartic Pain medications that don't even work as well as they should.( I didn't do drugs befor this) My income is under what I consider to be poverity levels and my health is a crap shoot. Here's my long draged out point....No matter how you think your life is...there's always someone else that has it worse than you do and I didn't find this out untill I met this guy with no legs and he was a happy go lucky kind of guy.I started talking to him and his comment was....don't sweat the small things in life, I said, you look at having no legs as small things in life? he said yea, My legs might have been blown off but I'm still living ant I? I asked him what he did befor the war and he told me, he was an olympic runner for the US team. I know this sounds like a bunch of bull, but this IS a true experience and it made me take my depressed a** and take a good hard look in the mirror and this taught me to make the best of what you have and the best one thing you can do for yourself is to set your mind frame and make every day worth living! you'll love yourself for it. Hope this helps you!! :) Oh yea, since my depression has left, I lost over 60 pounds and I'm not done!

Answer 2

Life sure throws curve balls, doesn't it?

All I wanted was to have a child, and that's not going to happen. Since I realized that, I've had a tough time trying to figure out what to do with my life. I fell so far into despair that I actually considered just stopping it all. I didn't, of course, but the months after that were filled first with emptiness, and then with the almost giddy realization that I was now free from the expectations I'd put on myself.

It's all about goals, I think. What can you do with the rest of your time that will make your life meaningful in the end?

Find what makes your life worth living. Maybe it won't be the thing you first imagined it would be. Maybe you'll have to be brave enough to dream up new goals. Believe me, it takes courage, a lot of it, to let go of what you had expected and reach out for something new.

Whatever that something is, find it and latch on. The worst thing you could ever do, I think, is to stagnate. Keep trying, keep moving. Find that better place and get there.

Answer 3

Most people probably don't get to live the life they wanted. The one amazing thing I find about humans is that we adapt, we survive. We know nothing else but to just keep going. You might want to try doings things that will make you feel better about yourself, such as volunteer work. I will definately suggest diet and exercise. Releasing endorphines through exercise has been proven to make people happier. Don't take things and yourself so serious, we are not perfect, just people. I myself have made many mistakes, I wish I had a time machine. All I can do is try to better myself from here on out though. Good luck. You might want to read some of "buddha's" teachings, very wise. Basically the root of any suffering is unnessary wants, once you do not want, then no more suffering and you enter a different level in the mind.

Answer 4

I'd take stock in everything that was good in my life and write it down on paper.

I'd take stock in everything that was not as I'd like it and write it down on paper.

Then I would come up with some ideas on how to make the wrongs go right and come up with a plan for getting me there. I would list milestones, dates, and how I planned to move in the right direction. I would hold myself accountable and start moving towards righting my life.

You might not be able to get all of the way there, but you should make some improvements and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

We all weren't destined to be picked up by a limo everyday to be taken to work. And those that are and that have the extremely high salaries are paying for it in other ways. Maybe they aren't seeing their kids grow up.

Answer 5

Honey, I don't mean to come across harsh....but life is life. You live it one day at a time and when things get in the way of your dreams...you just pick up and find another path to take in order to accomplish those dreams. Everyone has bad experiences in life...those that seem if they have it all good...don't...they just don't let it stop them from fullfilling a dream. Just learn from the mistakes you make...and keep reaching for what you are dreaming...just because everthing hasn't been the greatest...don't give up.

Answer 6

i think of that be apologetic approximately is ineffective. interior the tip, each and each decision you have ever made had an decision - if it did no longer, it does no longer have been a decision. there is not any sense of wallowing in be apologetic approximately or ask your self. that's plenty greater useful to envision the innovations you have made and make some judgements approximately your objectives and values. Then, whilst new judgements arise, you would be arranged to make selections that align with who you're and what you desire in existence.

Answer 7

I am not sure this is the answer you are looking for.

But my life has not gone the way I had hoped.

I just about ready to call it quits. Not because I am chicken but because I am really weary of all this stuff.

I have no power to make things better for me or for anyone else for that matter.

Don't take this personal because it is not about you. It is about me and what I can not do!

Answer 8

There are no vicitims. Everything is well ordered. Things happen as they should. Random events are guided by higher wisdom. Chaos is an illusion. There is total order to all events. Nothing happens without a reason. http://TaoBarbie.com

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Answer 9

don't despair, learn form life's mistakes and do your best to make sure u dont make them again, it will take time but in the end you will see light at the end of the tunnel, trust me you will.just be patient.

Answer 10

I would ask myself what did I do to become such a spoiled brat that now I want the whole world to revolve around my unimaginative will.