My wife wants me to do more house work.?

Question

Hello, I am a not so typical but very possible businessman, and I have some conflict with my wife. We have been married for 3 years.

She is an average American housewife, and of course I love her so much, I do care for her, and I always want to make her happy.

However, it seems like my career and its required labor are hindering our marriage.

According to the statistics, I work 800 hours more than other average Americans working annually. I guess this business simply has to exploit agents like me to stand herself competitive.

After work, I am completely exhausted both physically and mentally, and she doesn't like me having a break, cause she does a lot of housework.

Just because my job is an utter sweatshop, that doesn't mean that I make my wife to do all the housework. I want to minimize her burden, and I try to help her.

But she is still not satisfied, she wants me to do exactly the half of all houseworks.

But, I don't have any strength to do this.

I make some good money, but I cannot afford maids yet.

oh she doesn't have a job.

Answer 1

hey I think you got it all wrong. Maybe she doesn't really want to make you do housework. Maybe she just want you to see that it is a "job" keeping a house.She just wants some recognition that she is doing a valuable job too. Not just sitting home doing nothing. Is she a good housewife? Is she organized? Housework is not for everyone. But once organized it becomes a much quicker chore. Take her out to eat. Bring her flowers. Call her during the day. Ask her out for a date. Maybe she needs to get a job or do some volunteer work to get outside of the house. it can get very depressing. Hope this helps.

Answer 2

I can totally agree that in a marriage doing what it takes to run/provide a stable home should be an equal responsibility for both husband and wife. However, in your situation, it sounds like you are already putting forth your part of the deal. If she can not understand this, sit her down, look her in the eye, and joke if have to by saying "baby, I am tired. I work hard and when I come home from work, I do not have the energy it requires to help you with housework although I wish I did because I like a well kept house. If I were a machine, I would do it all for you so you could just take it easy".If she seems to just not be buying this, ask her to give your life a whirl for awhile. Even if it means taking a job up at your local Wal-Mart, Grocery Store, or a restaurant.Don't scream it at her, just make the suggestion so she will know how you feel when you get off of work. You need to understand that women can get selfish sometimes with out doing it deliberately. If our job is to make our house a home, we take that personal. With that, when you come home from work, her way of showing you that she has worked just as hard as you, she wants you to pitch in so you can see that she works and works and still can't seem to get finished. This is most likely her way of showing you her importance. Therefore, she recruits your help. Tell her that you will do the best you can by picking up after yourself during the week so she isn't left with picking up after you and if there is anything she needs you to do on your day off, after you have rested, you will more than gladly do it. Let her know that you recognize all of the hard work she puts into the house, and praise her for it. Then in turn, she may start recognizing all of the hard work you do and be able to sympathize with you more. When you come in from work, if she has the house clean/tidy, make sure you compliment the way it looks. I really do hope that this is of some help to you, but now I am going to throw this at you; I know you love your wife but the fact--she could use some kind of disturbance that will make her appreciate what you are doing for the both of you and your children if you have any. That sounds like the real problem you are dealing with here. I still think the best solution is to use psychology to fix it though. Good Luck, and be kind to yourself. Remember, the first wealth is your health. You are working a lot.

Answer 3

The first problem I see is you're not listening to your wife. She's trying to communicate you are in a partnerhship, and all you see is the bank balance.

You live in this house too right? With your job requirements, you may have fallen into bad habits about your own personal items. Do you at the least, put up your own socks and underwear? When's the last time you changed a light bulb, the a/c filter, paid bills etc.??
A housewife/stay at home mom is on duty 24/7., without exception. Do you spend as much time talking to your wife about her "job" as you do about yours? If not, then your wife has a valid claim.
Stop rationalizing how much effort you put into your paying job and invest in time spent at home....
Good luck...

Answer 4

Does she work? If she does not then expecting you to do half the housework is an undue burden. If she also works, then you're going to have to give a little bit. Talk to her, find out which chores she dislikes the most. See if picking those up will make her feel more at ease if you're not doing precisely "half"

Answer 5

first off im not sexist, but if you are a house wife then its your job to do house work, same as if you are a house husband.
I'm not judging her, you are telling us your job is tough, but to her it may sound easy, like say house work? anyways talk to her, tell her your burden, maybe set up a home system to where it doesnt need so much upkeep, does she need to mop and sweep everyday? maybe once a week, wash dishes once a day instead? or even paper plates and cups, things like this. tell her to work smart not hard. as for you, look into another job, your gonna have a heart attack

Answer 6

Does she have a job outside the home? If not then bringing home the paycheck is your job and taking care of the home is hers. Nothing wrong with helping her if there is a lot to do, but you should both sit down and work out something you both can live with.

Answer 7

maybe you can help a little ore on weekends..or find the money to get a once a week housekeeper...but really no sympathy if she's not working outside the house...still, its always nice to have something magically just be done...so try to find the energy for 1-2 things a day..the rewards will be worth it...

Answer 8

Look in the yellow pages for a service like Merry Maids.

Answer 9

if shes a stay at home mom/wife no she should do it all, that is her job, if you both work, even if you work more hours than her, yeah u should help with more.
My husband works full time, i saty home, i cook clean take care of the kids, but he helps out minimally becaue iknow hes been at work all dya but he helps with stuff i cant do, (after aurgery) I cant pull out the trash cans, mow the lawn and do stuff like that, the rest i take car of, its "my" job

Answer 10

Sounds like a typical American woman...no compassion, sympathy, intelligence or soul...whenever I hear stuff like this I'm glad I married a girl from the Philippines...good luck..