well me and my ex are kinda friends but not at times????he keeps confiding in me and telling me every thing thats going on from a-z and its driving me nuts......how can i put it to him litely not to confide in me so much....i hate hearing his problems.....and i can't just walk away from him like i can someone else...we do have a child together and thats what makes it so hard....and no feelings are there on my part....and men i would love your input.....
2006-11-02 18:25:55 · 7 answers · asked by wendy p 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This usually means that he loved very much. Unfortunately, when a man falls in love it is very hard for him to let go.
My ex and I are friends as well and at the beginning she would confide in me and ask me to do things for her. Even though it is recommended to be kind to each there does need to be limits. The only time that he should be contacting you is when it concerns the children. It does not hurt to greet each other but that should be the extent of it. Then the phone should be passed to the children. The more you let him confide in you the more he will do it. You do not have to be mean about it but be firm. Just let him know you are not comfortable listening to his problems. If you can recommend a friend of his to call. This will usually end as soon as he becomes involved with another woman. I used this plan with my ex-wife and we are still friendly.
2006-11-03 07:20:11 · answer #1 · answered by Bluedigo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me that at some point you two were best of friends and now you may not be lovers anymore nothing was ever said about ending being best of friends. you need to see that he's not trying to get you back he's just talking to you as the friend you were prior to your parting of ways. if you can't see this opportunity being nothing but a good thing then close the door on him. but look at it from the outside and many would love to have an ex that could still be a friend. sounds like someone here has never gotten over the reason for the parting of ways and need to see that being two with a child you are going to be seeing him a lot and friends are easy to get along with rather then just being ex's and having nothing to do with him, look at it this way, your child will see that mom can still have fun with dad even at a family outing, sounds like a lovely setting to me and one worth a try. it the new BF has problems with this setup you need to talk it over with him too, as long as the friendship would never go anywhere all should be fine with it and if not then some needs to work on trusting a lot more.
2006-11-02 19:01:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL - sounds like my ex.
This is what worked for me:
When you are talking with him and he turns the conversation away from what you need to be discussing (stuff involving your son). Say "Excuse me, we really need to finish discussing..." and then steer him toward a topic concerning your son.
When you are done discussing everything you need to about your son, don't give him extra time. Conclude the conversation. If you have a kid you won't even need to find an excuse - it is very likely that you do have lots of things you need to be doing.
I used to have to do this up to 20 in every conversation I had with my ex. He would always start to go off topic and I would bring him right back.
Yes, you need to maintain a cordial relationship with an ex when you have a child together, but it doesn't mean that you become his therapist. Your time is precious, and he should have friends to go spill his guts to.
Silk Dragon
2006-11-02 18:40:44 · answer #3 · answered by Silk Dragon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well this is really weird for me you both have a child together but then you dont want being friends with him really,which is not good for your children in the future
but you are also human if you cant stand hearing his problems,be creative,make yourself seem busy,do stuff, if he sees that you have important things to do, and that you are not around him so much and that if he knows you are not really within reach literally and you will find a schedule convenient for you so that he cant find you .then you need not listen to him
2006-11-02 18:31:44 · answer #4 · answered by haringmarumo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be friends....listen console as a friend and be joint parents for your child if he tells you too much ask him not to go there or say too much info or tell him your relationship has changed and u didn't need to know that.
2006-11-02 18:30:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's called life. you already made that decision with him once that's why you had a kid with him, all you do is start thinking bout your kid, tell him straight forward that you dont have time for his whining ignore what he said and focus on your kid and move on with your life. as an adult we do have a choice of life you make it hard on your own or let things go as it comes. good luck to you and your kid. remember this a man is whining is not a man it's a child......
2006-11-03 03:54:18 · answer #6 · answered by kevin n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simply tell him that you are there for the child and you only want to talk about things that concern the child, the rest of his life is not your business anylonger.
2006-11-02 18:29:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋