my husband and i were fighting on the phone, he turned his phone off and i left a message on his answering machine saying i cheated....... but i really didn't, he did but i have no hard proof. i want to get a divorce and alimony, but he said if i try to get alimony he saved my message and will show it to the judge and therefore i can't get alimony because i "committed adultry" is that true? i really didn't he is the one who did but i left that stupid message and now he's gonna use it against me. he abandoned me and has abused me and even got arrested for it and i thought after all i've been through i can at least get alimony and now he is screwing that up for me too, what can i do? can i deny it? i mean i did leave the message, it just seems like he is getting away with murder and i am the innocent one and i'm getting screwed. I tried to hurt him by saying those things cuz he actually cheated on me and i wanted him to see how it felt and it didn't even phase him. but i didn't cheat!!!!
2006-11-02 17:46:57 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
money hungry TRICK!!! Leave him and get a job!!!
2006-11-02 17:49:53 · answer #1 · answered by Scratch-N-Sniff 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi !
I just came from a divorce case myself and alimony does not reflect so much on who cheated and who did not ? It is now looked as who earns the most and if the spouse is capable of working. If you are working then alimony will not be in full, if you are earning more than him you will not be awarded any
I dont think that that message will hurt your case from getting any alimony the state is there to protect you so that you can get on with your life and you will not get into any financial difficulties.
I believe every state is different but I feel you do not need to worry too much about it, but do get yourself a real good lawyer, that will help your case !
Good luck !
2006-11-03 02:37:18 · answer #2 · answered by Worried man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF this is taking place in the U.S…
Starrwood, I don’t know you keep saying that alimony is no longer awarded because every single state in the U.S. allows for alimony/maintenance/spousal support/whatever it’s called in that state. However, JUST being married does not automatically qualify a person for alimony. The judge looks at things like the length of the marriage, if you contributed to your spouse’s education or the advancement of his career, if you’ve been out of the work force for a long period of time in order to be a homemaker, your spouse’s ability to pay alimony, etc.
Regarding adultery, the laws are different in every state. In NC for example if it’s proven that you committed adultery then you are barred from receiving alimony. In other states, adultery doesn’t automatically bar you from it, but it is taken into consideration when the judge rules. In other states, it doesn’t matter at all.
You ‘admitted’ to it and he has it on tape. That’s not going to look good for you. You need to talk with a local attorney.
2006-11-03 00:32:27 · answer #3 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think one little message will decide who gets what. I'm sure it happens all the time in divorce cases. The best thing you can do is explain the situation as best you can to the judge, and she will decide. I'm sure depending on how long you were married, you may be entitled to alimony. He's just trying to scare you.. just get a good lawyer...sorry, could be expensive.
2006-11-02 17:51:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow u screwed urself didnt ya.. i guess its up to the judge, but u admitting to something like that on a recording can be held against u in court because u knew were being recorded, maybe next time u'll think before playing such games, no matter what the reason..
2006-11-02 17:54:28 · answer #5 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Boy, did this back fire on you!! I say good ridance to the bum and get on with your life. You will be better off without him. So start your life over. Move away from him and find a job and support yourself. You don't need him.
2006-11-02 17:54:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1
2017-02-17 19:12:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cannot get alimony anymore unless you are unable to work, they only give child support and it must be spent on the child. you said it on the phone, if he saved the message you could be counter sued anyway, it doesnt matter if you cheated or not. unless you are dissabled or something so you cant support yourself or he is hugely wealthy, you wont get alimony.
2006-11-02 17:53:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Ask your lawyer, but you probably have an uphill battle. Many other factors may lighten the effect of what you said you did.
2006-11-02 17:59:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Adultery is not a reason to not get alimony unless you have a prenup
2006-11-02 17:54:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Take his phone from him and erase the message, getting his password might be hard.
2006-11-02 17:53:50 · answer #11 · answered by Nicole 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋