my husband and i have been 2geather for 5 years married one. Latly he has been changing. first of all he turns his phone off when he is at work doing nothing. we have not had sex in for ever, he never can have a normal covwerstation w me it is always yelling, i have caught him lying to me about the stuipid little things. i have gave him all the space he ask for i am always there for him but he never wants to talk to me he never tells me whats gone one he just makes plans and dose not include me.The other nite he acted like he was going to bed w me and we went to bed really earily the next moring he was so tried so i asked him y he was so tried he said he just was well when i got home i got on the computer and a bunch of porn site pop ups appered so i cheaked the history he was up all nite looking at porn and on adult friend finder whiich is a site where u find people to have sex w what could be going on help
2006-11-02 16:49:35 · 13 answers · asked by A soldiers wife 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
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2006-11-02 20:03:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you asking how to get out of this relationship because that should really be your question, I'm sorry to say. You've just been married a year? Has something traumatic happened recently like a job loss or someone passing away? If not, sounds like you need to give some serious ultimatums.
2006-11-03 00:59:58 · answer #2 · answered by elmb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats pretty bad.
If he isn't cheating on you already, he is certainly thinking about it. That's one of the biggest problems with the accessability of the internet. It is too easy to to cheat.
If you want to save your marriage, you will have an uphill fight. You probably will need to get him into counciling (actually for both of you), maybe into Sexual Addicts Anonymous. He won't want to go so you may need to corner him or show him that you know he is trying to cheat.
It may help to get some of his family members into the discussion if you feel comfortable with any of them.
If, on the other hand, you feel that the marriage may not be worth fighting for, or that he cannot change (which a possibility), you may want to start making plans to live without him again.
It is a tough choice, but either way, you will need to talk to him about it.
Sorry you have to go through this.
Good luck.
2006-11-03 00:59:56 · answer #3 · answered by stephenfournier 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The internet can be a marvelous tool when used properly, and this is one of those instances when it's being misused for harmful, detrimental activities. I would confront him about it, using the website history as proof, and tell him it is unacceptable behaviour that you WILL NOT tolerate. Ask him to seek help for his addiction, and if he reuses, I would ask him to leave until he is willing to work on the marriage. But do not enable his behaviour by allowing him to disrespect you like that and live in your home. You will most likely succumb to depression if you do.
Good luck, Honey!
2006-11-03 01:31:26 · answer #4 · answered by lookn2cjc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon Im so sorry. I dont have the answers to whats going on. All I can tell you to do is pray. I know that given him space is not always the best thing cuz you think your doing them a favor and they push there luck more and it makes things worse. Why dont you tell him ya need to talk.(Im sure he'll get mad and say theres nothing to talk about cuz thats what mine did) But if its important to you it should be to him. Good Luck and Ill pray for you
2006-11-03 00:58:54 · answer #5 · answered by poohbeark19 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to confront him now. Get counseling, get help somewhere if you want to save your marriage!! And AFF is a swinging site, mostly, maybe he's having fantasies spicing up sex WITH you? Have you tried making the moves on HIM? Hmmmm...you guys are going to have to open up the lines of communication to get a handle on this one!!
Good luck!
2006-11-03 00:54:04 · answer #6 · answered by ladyw900ldriver 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Save up enough money and move out. Get your own place.
Then, when he asks why you didn't tell him you were leaving, say, "Your phone was turned off."
Then when he says why didn't you tell me yesterday, say, "You were sleeping all day after being up all night looking at porn."
Have your sneakers on and your car running so you can run, because he will probably try to beat the crap out of you. I see it coming as clear as day.
Get out now honey.
2006-11-03 01:21:56 · answer #7 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you should get serious counseling. He obviously is a porn addict. If he is unwilling to stop or go to counseling, the marriage is over.
2006-11-03 00:53:34 · answer #8 · answered by abbyrose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read that question again...........and you'll see what the problem is and I am sorry..... I have to say your husband is a lying to you and maybe a cheat in real life just like on the net.
2006-11-03 00:52:11 · answer #9 · answered by lol_des 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be patient with him and try to understand his point of view. try to talk it out.
if you cant talk it out/remember be patient. and remember what it was like when you were single.
give him enough rope and he will hang himself.
whenever you have done everything in your power to resolve this issue and it still doesnt work then get out of there.
remember/ it is better to live on the rooftops than inside with a wicked [woman/man]
proverbs /chapter [25] verse 24.
2006-11-03 01:00:40 · answer #10 · answered by david_strickland31 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋