How can I convince my wife to start swinging ! Ive always wanted to try this lifestyle I just dont know how to

Question

get wife to go along . Im afraid she will go ballistic!

Answer 1

MysticMoon's horror story happened for a reason. MANY reasons in fact. She and her louse of a husband had NO BUSINESS swinging! It's not about force, it's not about coercion or manipulation or pain or humiliation or degradation...surprisingly, it's not even about sex. It's about allowing your partner the freedom to be exactly who he/she is and loving him/her for it. My husband and I were swingers (although we are currently taking a monogamous break, and haven't swung in nearly 3 years...yes it's possible to "go back" to monogamy if you want to). We are not freaks, we have never caught or transmitted an STD. We have never fallen in love with our swing partners. Our relationship is not only intact, but in better shape than it used to be because of swinging; swinging gave us the opportunities to find our weaknesses and repair them.

I'll have to ditto what RacerX said. You can't "convince" anyone to swing, and to coerce or pressure someone into doing something that is against their principles, morals or ethics is absolutely wrong. All you can do is tell her how you feel about her and your relationship, and how you feel about the idea of involving other people in your sex life. Beyond that, all you can do is be supportive and patient as she toys with the idea. Point her in the right directions as she asks for more information. If she does go ballistic, ask her what it is she's afraid of or angry about and be prepared to bare your soul for her. You'll need to be an absolutely open book. Good luck!

Answer 2

From the FAQ section of The Swingers Board:

"Basically, you DON'T CONVINCE your partner to swing. Swinging is not for everyone, and it might not be for you and your partner. Before you think about trying to convince your partner to swing you should first look at yourself and examine the reasons you wish to swing. Are you wanting to swing so that you can "get more action", if so, then don't bother. This is not the lifestyle for you. If, however, you want to swing because you want to help your partner live out fantasies while living out your own, or because you want to share the most special part of your life (your partner) with others, then you can start looking at how to talk to your partner about swinging. You may not even need to convince your partner. They may already be more than willing, all you have to do is let them know that you are. On the other hand, they may not have ever thought about it. Communication is the key to opening all of the doors here. The first thing you need to do is talk to them about your fantasies. Be open to any questions that they may bring up and be prepared to answer why you want to do this. If your partner lets you know that they have no interest in the lifestyle, then back off. Pushing them will get you nowhere. However, if you can mention your fantasies to them, if you can get your partner turned on to your fantasies, then you will have a much better chance of opening the lines of communication again and the chances of taking things further will increase."

Answer 3

Dude.... swinging isn't for most people. I don't know how long you've been married, but your looking at an uphill battle. Well, I can't speak for your wife, but if MY husband came home and asked me to go to a party with a bunch of swingers, I'd be dumbfounded. I wouldn't go ballistic, but it's not something I'd want to do and I'd tell him if that's the type of lifestyle he is wanting, then we're not meant to be together. If it's a matter of just experimentation, that might be different. But for me, having sex with a group of people is pretty skanky behavior. But a one time "experiment" with another woman or whatever, might fly. I don't know though, because then you just open the door for the desire on your part (or HER part maybe) to do it again. So you run the risk of your wife LIKING it a lot. Who knows, she might think the guy your letting boink her is BETTER than you. She might end up leaving your sorry butt for the LIFESTYLE you dreamed about.... having a gang of people doing her. This is all a very good reason to stay faithful to your woman.

Answer 4

Ok, I was a swinger for 2 years and My now EX-HUSBAND pretty much forced me into it. He came to me with the idea one day and basically said that if I didn't swing that he was gonna cheat. Well stupid me, I ended up giving in. We have now been separated for 7 months, I fell in love with my regular swing partner and we are now living together. My Ex was a very controlling and mentally abusive man, he made my life a living HELL. So his little plan of SWINGING backfired on him, not that we had a good relationship. I was a good wife to him, I took care of his needs and our children. I never cheated on him, or even thought about. I did find out that he cheated on me before we started swinging. I am happy now, I love my boyfriend very much, he treats me better than anyone ever has. I would not recommend Swinging, It really isn't worth it if you are happily married. It is really a disgusting lifestyle, they are all a bunch of FREAKS. Not to mention all the STDs that you have to worry about. You really need to look into it further and hear the horror stories, I know a lot of people in the lifestyle that are no longer together because of swinging. GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

you could first find out her views on swinging first before jumping into the deep end. maybe ask her during sex or foreplay or sorta make up some fantasy containing her having sex with someone else etc... but if she says no then dont take it further, you cant have your cake and eat it too, its a choice if she says no, stay with your loving wife or go into a swining life style, but have think first, do u want to really take a chance on you wife, what if you do not take to the swinging life and miss your wife, what then?

Answer 6

Do you think that you are making a pron-movies. Come on man, as a head of the house,how could you have this in mind.What turn out,could turn in to yourself. Can you stop it when it come.
Scr: Your wife agreed to your request.And she find a new way of enjoyment.Then she started to have her own swing somewhere else, do you think that you can stop her as you started it.So men, swinging is not for lifestyle and is very bad in the family, itself. Have you taught of this. God bless you and clear you from this sin.

Answer 7

What you want to do first is ask her to spit in a cup, then ask your neighbor to spit in it too. Get your local mailman, police, firemen, preacher, sister, brother, all to spit in the cup. When you feel like you can drink that, then you go ask your wife to put her sexual organs on top of another man or woman. Have fun drinking and don't forget that there are 25 stds that are known right now. Thanks to all the swingers we should be up to 100 by the end of the decade. Woo freaking Hoo it sounds like something I want to do.

Answer 8

Imagine, just for a second, that she was all jazzed about something that you had NO interest in. Think about how you'd feel if she wanted to do this and you were like, NO WAY!! Wouldn't it be like her saying, "You know honey, you're just not enough for me. I need to bring others into our bedroom, ok? Are you ok with that?"

Hello?

Wake up dude. Look at what you have.

Answer 9

Is this something you want so badly that it isn't enough to keep it a fantasy?

Marriage is about monogamy. I feel badly for your wife if you put that ring on her finger without telling her that swinging is something you would seriously want to try. Very badly.

Answer 10

I would go ballistic! To each his/her own though. Just remember that these things can ruin a relationship!