Can Partner's Smoking Ruin Your Love Life?

Question

Ever since my husband immigrated here, he has doubled up on his cigarrettes. Now, I know he is adjusting to the culture and he smokes as a way to relieve stress, but his chain-smoking (more than a pack a day) is becoming too much that I don't phsically want to be around him. The smoke (and I HATE the smell) gets into our sheets, in my car, and he smells so bad that I can't kiss him anymore and don't want him to touch me. I often tell him that the smoke is too permeating that we can't have sex. I tell him to at least take a shower to get rid of the smoke, but he just doesn't do it, so we end up not having sex.
Am I acting out of line in not wanting to be physical and feeling repulsed by his body odor? His smoking never really bothered me before, but now he chain-smokes and I can't be physically close to him.
Anyone know what I can do to get rid of the horrible smoke stench and make it tolerable to be around him?

At the same time, I don't want to constantly nag him or give him an ultimatum about his cigs because he has enough stress in dealing with culture shock.

Answer 1

Well it would be preferable he didnt smoke and definatey not in the bedroom it is to dangerous .get him to take his clothes of in the bathroom if possible he should shower but some men dont like it .There are mouth washes and sprays he can use to take the taste away while you kiss him .Smoking can effect a mans function to keep an erection next time you visit a doctors or library see if they have the brochure on erectile disfunction just leave it somewhere near where he sits he may pick it up and read it you never know unless you try that way you dont have to tell him anything .

Answer 2

I'm a non-smoker and I hate the smell of cigarettes, it is totally disgusting, its like kissing a ash tray. My ex-wife smoked but I made her smoke outside, smoking isn't cool, I know its a hard habit to quit but in all sense smoking is getting to the point that the only place you can smoke is in your house or car, I guess I never smoked because I hated the smell, both my parents were smokers and everytime we went on a trip they would smoke and I hated it....I believe that smoking is for people that are underachievers, Tell your foreign husband to take his smoking habits outside or your going to kick his butt out there, good luck I know what your going through.

Answer 3

Smoking does not ruin your love life but you are because the hate of the smell. Try to give in some time by taking him to the shower and bath him down by yourself.By then the smell will be off from his body and mouth. That where you can have your closes with him.

Answer 4

I NEVER want my boyfriend to be smoking.
I had a fight with him about that. I told him that I want to be with someone who won't die on me like that... who actually gives a crap about his health. He would rarely smoke. But one cigarette can lead to one, then two, then three.. then a whole damn pack. He promised me he would never smoke a cigarette again. Because I mean that much to him.

Let him know how you really feel about this.
Not for the smell. But for his life... and yours.
If he doesn't give up smoking for you, he sure is selfish.

So yes. A partner's smoking can ruin the love life.
Just plain his life.

Answer 5

talk to him about it and just make sure he knows how you feel. Mention you still love him but that you really dont like that he smokes so much. It sounds like he must be dealing with allot of stress so maybe helping him cope with that stress will help.

Answer 6

excuses about culture shock who wants to kiss an ash tray but another ash tray

Answer 7

I smoke too - let me know if you find something

Answer 8

you start smoking to o