My spouse has a terminal brain tumor for five and half years...how do I still be a good partner?

Answer 1

I am so sorry for you both.
These are some general suggestions, not written in stone, based on my own experiences with people I love.

Remind her every day how much you love her. Tell her how beautiful she still is to you. Be gentle and affectionate without concentrating on any unfulfilled sexual desires.
Think about little gifts to cheer her up when she's having a particularly bad time. It doesn't have to be anything big or expensive, but a bouquet of her favorite flowers can perk her up and be a visual reminder of your love when you are out. If it's from the heart, then it's the best gift you can give.
Make sure you are there for important doctor's appointments. When you can't be there because of work or something, make sure you stay informed about her condition, treatment, and the entire process. The more you know, the better you can handle it.
Be extra helpful at home. She probably won't feel like doing much, so cook, clean, do the laundry, etc... so that she doesn't have to live in a mess. While you don't have to keep things spotless, at least keep the house livable.
On days when she can't even get out of bed, offer a sponge bath so she won't have to feel dirty.
If you can, have a female friend or relative come over to do beauty treatments for her. Getting a manicure, pedicure, or facial can be a great way for her to still feel feminine without having to over exert herself.

On general, you should try as much as possible to put her first. It's hard on you both, and there isn't much to make things easier. All you can do is make sure she is comfortable and as happy as possible. Treasure the time you have; you never know when a day will be your last.

Answer 2

my mother had a brain tumour and not to upset u but she passed away last year...
and honestly the best thing you can do is just be there for him if he is anything like my mother was he will still want to be as independant as possible so if he wants to do something on his own let him but help him if it starts getting to hard!

when it got to bad for my mother she was no longer allowed to work and her drivers liscence was taken off her because she would start reversing into trees or driving on the wrong side of the road with out noticing or hallucinate and start seeing people standing on the road!

it might get really tough at times & u might not understand exactly what he is going through or why is doing things or saying things he normally wouldnt say but he probably doesnt even realise what he's doing!

just keep doing what your doing,if you ever had ahobby that you used to do when u were younger like go to a park and have a picnic or just anything that would bring back memories do that again, show him that you still love him and u are still happy to be his wife....

be honest to him would definately be one of the most important things, i would say.
but just try not to think that he is termillay sick you will find it hard to show that you both are doing fine!!!]

sorry if my advice isnt good or helping but thats all i can think of....

i know my mother would never have wanted me to constantly be upset and worrying so much

Answer 3

Love is the best. As for the tumor try FrequenSea. When you edify the body, it can heal itself. After about 3 months of FrequenSea, my wife's ganglion disappeared. This stuff is all natural and crosses the blood/liver and the blood/brain barrier. For the low cost and low risk, it may be something worth trying.

Answer 4

Hi Ty, Ecter and I have very identical ideals approximately Christianity and are well peers. My spouse and I met at a Dairy Queen in which she labored. I was once teasing a married (Older) buddy of mine approximately what she was once doing on Saturday night time and she or he pulled the ancient "switcheroo" on me and announced me to a tender woman that labored along with her there. We talked a couple of mins and determined to visit the films on Saturday night. Later, I remembered that I already had a date Saturday afternoon. I went skating with a further younger woman Saturday afternoon, went house and showered then picked up this younger woman. We had a BLAST, however we met a couple of of the opposite woman's peers on the film and I didn't listen the top of it for the the rest of the tuition 12 months. We had been all in prime tuition categories in combination! In any case we went out for 2 years and married proper after prime tuition commencement. We had been fortunately married for 33 years subsequent week. We grew to be Christians approximately two decades in the past and agree on close to each hassle that has ever arise. We have 3 youngsters and 2 grandchildren. Have a quality week. Thanks, Eds ----- .

Answer 5

That's a tough one. About all you can do is be there for them for as long as you can take care of them. Try to hold onto the person they where when it gets really bad.
I truly feel for you. Our oldest daughter has had 6 brain surgeries for tumors so I know how much it changes a person.

hang in there and best of luck

Answer 6

Doing what you have been doing for the past five years sound to be the path to be on. Not knowing how the tumor is changing your spouse puts a limit of words we can tell to you. Most of the answers you get with this type of question will be from people that have experienced (experienceing) it in their life.

my father had seven brain tumor that were removed over the past 25 years, he has been in and out of hospitals for so many years that he stopped going to his annual scans a few years ago and without the knowledge of the family was given only six months to live, this was his decision to keep it this way and my mother found out only by hearing two Dr's talking out in the hallway on a visit to the Dr's office two months ago.

He hasn't changed anything about his daily life. he know that the family knows now without being told so, we never talk about the tumor with him, only mother does this for he is my father and he isn't about to let himself be seen as one that isn't build out of anything but rock and steel. I spend more time at the house not as much for him, but for my mother as she needs time to relax too, she has been by his side for more than 50 years and will never leave her place.

both are in good health for thier ages and keep on with their life’s as before and you need to keep your head held up high for being sad and angry has no place while trying to experiencing everything life has to offer even when the door is being closed and your in the doorway. Keep everything going as before and try to keep doing his and your favorite things. keep the family posted as news need to be pasted even if is not good, family outing are what keeps us close and keeps our Dad smiling all day long.

Treat him as you would treat him without his illness, we do take him out more often and only wish we would have taken the time during the past 20 years to do so. My mother has been by his side during all of the ups and downs any two married people would have and has now been trying to change a few things that she wished she would have done years ago, speaking mostly of food and paint. Dad loves red meat and it has found it's way to the table every night, we think she trying to clog up his hart now, and the paint, well she had started re-painting the rooms the colors he wanted them painted when she painted them the first time around, this only makes dad feel like she is and he's right that she's doing it just to see him happy and it's doing the revise on him. It upsets him seeing her do what she had fought so hard to not do years ago. Don’t go changing anything just to his standers to please him for he may be ill, he's not stupid.

Do what make the family happy and you’ll see the joy in his eyes without words in his mouth. Love is the word that was only used on Sundays and it has now been upgraded to be used every time we come or go, this illness has been put on this earth to bring families together at a price most would never want to pay. We can’t pick out how or when but we can learn while we walk with others down the road. Be strong for the family needs to be so as he needs to see that everything will go on once he has pasted.

I have no words as you know the feelings of pain in out harts too and i can only wish you the best of times with him while you are truly blessed with a gift that brings us all together at the ultimate price. Be strong and remember that god has given us all the power of love, use it everyday and it will be returned to those in need.

love him and treat him as your one and only true love and enjoy the love he gives to you for once he is gone it's the love in your hart that will keep him in your thoughts everyday.

Answer 7

Sorry to hear it.

Be there for him, don't talk about his death or your worry about your future without him.. Make life as comfortable for him as possible. Give him his favorite food.

Answer 8

Live each day like it was YOUR last. Best of luck to you.
Coach

Answer 9

I pray for you both.