what should i do with a husband that don't want to help around the house i have to do everything?

Question

he will go to work come home watch t.v. than eat and go to bed right away

Answer 1

Sounds like a typical guy to me.

Answer 2

Talk to him about it.

If he ignores you, then only look after yourself and not him. Leave pamphlets for marriage counselling on the coffee table. Don't cook him dinner. or have TV dinners in the freezer and he can cook them himself.

If you are a housewife and he works, then you should do more housework than he does. If you both work, the housework should be split between the both of you. Do you have kids? does he help with the kids at all? if not, get a marriage counsellor in quick smart, as he is teaching the kids bad skills that they will repeat themselves.

Ever watch that Nanny show? There was a family like that on there. The dad came home from work, sat on his *** and watched TV then went to bed. the wife did everything else. He didn't even care about the kids. The nanny gave him a boot up the ***, and he helps out now, and everyone is happier and a better family unit.

Answer 3

That's the way it should be - unless you had made other arrangements. If you would rather that he gives up his job and fiddle around the house and watch TV, then tell him. What do you while he is at work? Then ask yourself. As a team who do you feel who is doing more? Is it enough to jeopardize a relationship? Is there something you can offer to make a trade off? Maybe he's feeling tired because he isn't getting the right food (most so called foods today do not have all the properties the human body needs). Guys don't like to be nagged at, so you may try a more proactive approach. Be as positive as you can. Try doing things together and make it fun - use your imagination.

Answer 4

Honey, I hate to say this, but if you are a "housewife/stay at home mom" this is pretty much your job. He brings home the bacon and you cook it, is how the saying goes. However, if you are working too, then it's time to sit down and have a heart to heart. And don't get frustrated, this is seriously going to have to take more than one of those conversations. Men pretty much have to be hit over the head with a brick before they "get it".

And I'm just telling you what I had to learn the hard way. I was a stay at home mom for many years, I also went to school, became the CEO of my household and as trying as it was at the time, I survived. Now that I'm back at work, we've had to have quite a few of these "heart to heart" talks. After awhile, I grew tired of nagging and just simply did it myself. Then a friend told me some words of wisdom that put things where they should be..and that is on an equal basis. She told me that instead of nagging, ask him to do things. Such as, Honey, I didn't get a chance to get to the dishes (substitute whatever you need there) and I was wondering if you could help me out by doing them? The more I did that, the more I became amazed at how quickly this man began to evolve into the one I can count on to pick up the slack. Now, it's to the point where I normally don't have to ask. If he sees something that needs to be done, he rolls up his sleeves and digs right in to get it done. I should warn you that this didn't happen overnight. We had many heart to hearts and heated debates over this. The point is, that with persistence, it worked and I couldn't be happier.

And if you choose to try this and it fails, remove the magnet from his recliner that draws his behind to it each night, then take a day at the spa to de-stress, or regroup and take every damn remote control with you. (I'm ashamed to admit I've done that, but after several hours of looking for it, he gave up and started doing some chores)

Answer 5

i have the same problem!
my fiance goes to work has dinner that i cook for him sits on the computer until 11pm comes up stairs to bed and cries that house needs to be cleaned, or he is tired and needs to get up early for work.
we have an 11 month old son and i am due to give birth any day now, and just cant do it all on my own. i cook, clean, look after our son, get up at 1 -2 am when he can't sleep. and if by some chance the floor hasnt been vacuumed im am the laziest person in the world. what ticks me off the most is when he gets home he kicks off his work clothes and throws them at the laundry door instead of the basket on the other side of the door!

and he'll take his clothes off the coathangers then decide he doesnt want to wear them and drop them on the floor! arrrgh it makes me so mad

i dont think men realise at times that being a stay at home mother is just like having a full time job.....

i wish i could answer your question. if you get any good advice throw it my way!

Answer 6

First try talking to him. You have to let him know how much you do, and you would like some help from him. He won't get up and do the dishes if he thinks that you don't mind doing them yourself. Communication is always the key.
Try making a chore list, give him one or two small things he can do each day after work, like unloading and re-loading the dishwasher, that won't require too much effort on his part, like scrubbing the bathrooms would. Or maybe one or two larger jobs that he can do on his days off.
If that doesn't work, then take action. Once you've told him that you aren't his personal maid, cook, and housekeeper, he needs to see that you mean what you said. If you keep doing everything for him, he won't see any reason to change just based on your words. When my husband starts to act like a lazy butt, I let his laundry pile up, I stop cleaning his personal spaces of the house, and I cook meals for dinner that I know he won't eat. After a couple of days, he goes back to helping out when I need him to.

If nothing you say or do gets through to him, then it's time to think about outside help. Whether it's therapy with a family counselor, or just talking with a clergy leader, you might need another point of view to find a solution. Marriage is a partnership, and you two need to find a compromise that will work for you. You both need to be happy and contributing to the chores. Even if you don't have an outside job, you shouldn't be expected to do everything while he does nothing.

Answer 7

Get "sick", I mean really sick, and make him have to do his own laundry and cooking for a few days.
Seriously, some men are just like that. I am so thankful that my husband helps out. He'll be gone to work for, usually, 10-14 hours a day & come home & help with dishes & laundry, and of course the baby. When I have a relapse of multiple sclerosis it's like he's a single dad with 2 kids, me and the baby because I can't do very much. I wish EVERY woman was as blessed as I am.
Remember the episode of the Flintstones where Fred & Wilma switched places for a day? I wish every man who doesn't help around the house could do that just once.

Answer 8

If he is open for discussing the matter, try that first. If you don't think it will cause to many problems, just start taking care of your things only. Let him wash his own clothes, etc. Cook meals just for yourself. I would be very lonely if my hubbie just came home, ate and went to bed. Maybe at times you could make plans with girlfriends so you can have some time to yourself and not always feel like you are cleaning. Hang in there.

Answer 9

Do you work outside the home also? If so, then sit down with him and discuss this...both of you work, so both of you are responsible for maintaining the home (cooking, cleaning, yardwork, etc...whatever needs to be done)

Doesn't sound like much of a marriage if he works, eats, sleeps...when do you two spend time together? That should be addressed as well, unless you're happier with him doing his own thing...

Marriage is a partnership...let him know he needs to be an equal partner...

Answer 10

Do you work? Does he have a very demanding mental or physical job? You have to think of all the different aspects of your marriage.

IF you don't work, then there is NO reason for hime to work all day, come home and do house work. On the other hand, IF you also work then he should help you around the house.

Good luck. Pops

Answer 11

I just had an argument with mine about that last night. He does the same thing. Go on strike. It works. Wash only your cloths cook dinner for yourself and clean up after you and you only. When he realizes you work just as hard as him he will start to pitch in. If he doesnt take pictures of just how much of a pig he is. Hope it works for you