Someone i know is messing up really bad. She has this B/F who is on drugs. The only time she calls is when she needs help finding him or watching her children so that she can go get him out of harms way. For the first time tonight i had to help out way more than i ever expected to. I was the one who drove to get him. i must add that i was VERY scared. Well on the way home from this really bad place her B/F was in my car while she was in her car. While we were on our way home he decided to tell me something that makes me so sick i cant stand it. He told me that my "friend" also does drugs. I asked him why he told me this and his reply is that he is tired of getting blamed for all of the mess and she comes out of it smelling like a rose. i hope i explained it right. but i guess the question is ....would you turn her in so that she could get help and so that her children dont have to live like this? I am freaking out. Please help.
2006-11-02 15:59:13 · 13 answers · asked by jodi b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
This sounds like a situation that I wouldn't want to be in. Why don't you distance yourself?
2006-11-02 16:02:03 · answer #1 · answered by eddysmomma 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would sit her down and talk to her, and if she really truly wants help you will be the one to know because you know her well. If this doesn't help and she really don't want the help that she needs to get, I would turn her in, because if you don't make them both wake up and realize then there never going to stop and get off the drungs. Yes it will hurt the kids to be away from their parents, but in the long run it's the best thing for the kids. See I can relate to you on this. My cousin and his wife are going through the same thing. They lost their kids because of heroin. People sat them down talked to them and tried to get them help but they didn't want it. The last straw was when my cousin was in his moms car and nodding out so bad that he almost passed out. My aunt couldn't take seeing her son like that so she did the only thing she could. The question is though how much more of this can you take? How much more harm can you let your friend and her b/f do to their body? Their kids being taking away will be a wake up call and a relization for them, that they need to get off the drugs. This is a tough spot to be in and I wish I could help you more then just answering your question, if it was me I would turn them in. The good thing is that your name and everything else will be kept confidential. Just remember think of the kids and what is best for them in the long run. Good Luck.
2006-11-02 16:17:55 · answer #2 · answered by Esther V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Changing people, especially those in need of help, always feels like the right thing. For two reasons, for them, It may increase their quality of life. For you, helping them would make you feel like you have done a great favor or deed. However this is wrong. Sad as it may seem, the only truth is that they have to change themselves. By distancing yourself from them they may realize that losing friends sucks, but turning them in to the authorities will only get you in a world of ish with them. they may never forgive you and possibly want to hurt you. Only you can make this decision. but since it is such a heavy one to make, you should seek the advice of people you really look up to. not a bunch of strangers on the internet. Remeber when asking advice... to set up ground rules. No names, and don't let the person your asking take control. You need advice to help find your answer. Not an asnwer you have no control over. Please keep in mind that a situation like this is going to be difficult no matter how it turns out. But with time your feelings will heal and you will become stronger.
However if the situation is infact LIFE THREATENING or her CHILDREN really are in DANGER. Than you need to be upfront with her tell her you are not her friend and if she does not change you will have no other option than to turn her in for the sake of the children.
2006-11-02 16:33:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough one. Talk to your friend in confidence. If she is on something maybe she wants help but does not want to lose the kids. The guy is obviously pretty far gone. Do not allow yourself to become his or their rescue person. They will be putting you in a very dangerous position. If you get stopped by the cops, you will probably go to jail because he or they will have something on them. It's too big of a risk for you. At most offer to watch the kids. Do not be a transporter. If he dumps the stuff in your car, you go to jail.
2006-11-02 16:06:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
being a recovering addict. no. dont rat her out. she may never forgive you and neither would i.(unless its affecting the children real bad, how old are they?)you may have to do some talking to her. if shes in so deep then shell have to hit the bottom of the barrel till she can come up. my fiance broke up with me over amonth ago and nows hes a junky. i feel you girl, best of luck
2006-11-02 16:08:21 · answer #5 · answered by Meeowf 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to remove yourself from them and stay away. To many times we go into things with the best of intentions when all we end up doing is making someone else's problems our own. Stay out of it and get yourself as far away from this situation as possible.
-NmD!
2006-11-02 16:07:52 · answer #6 · answered by NoMaD! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a bit early to inform if he like,s you however he;s definately interested. Just do not seel your self to him, ya understand? Try to maintain your choices open simply in case this does not figure out. It feels like matters are going well to this point, however simply maintain doing what you are doing. It it is figuring out, matters must care for themselves. =] well good fortune!
2016-09-01 06:27:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you will not participate in her druggie drama. You will watch her kids while she goes to Narc-anon meetings. Otherwise, the friendship is over.
2006-11-02 16:06:19 · answer #8 · answered by lmcbuilder 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just forget her & leave her to her state. You R getting into a mess.
2006-11-02 16:07:35 · answer #9 · answered by Rajesh W 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Call Police or her parents for support.
2006-11-02 16:02:39 · answer #10 · answered by Toto 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋