We just found out my son abused my daughter repeatedly. We knew he had done it once and he was prosecuted for the one time. Now we find out it happened often. It was four years ago and he is out of treatment and is married. He says it only happened once but my daughter has no reason to lie. I want to love both my children but am torn. I support my daughter but am uncomfortable around my son. What kind of mother does that make me? Should we go to the police? If I do my mother will never speak to me again and my son won't admit it. Help!
2006-11-02 15:36:57 · 8 answers · asked by loved one 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all, this isn't your fault it happened. And don't worry about your mother. YOU have to do what you need to do to help and take care of your own children. And if that means taking them to counseling or reporting them to the police-then do what you need to do!!!
It's up to you whether or not you report your son, but either way, I'd keep him away from your daughter. I would also seek counseling for your daughter if she isn't already. This is a very sad and sensitive issue. But she probably needs to talk to someone. You may even need to talk to someone yourself. This must be terrible for you as well. I couldn't imagine going through something like this. It's always best to hear the victim out-and that is your daughter. Good luck in what ever you chose to do. You're in my thoughts.
2006-11-02 18:03:58 · answer #1 · answered by Jenna 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, as a parent it's up to you to make sure that your daughter is protect regardless what you mother thinks. I'm sure she did all she could to protect and care for you growing up and she needs to understand that you have to do the same for your own.
Second, I would go some family counseling, or just some individual counseling and get some professional advice. I mean, is your son around your daughter a lot now? Has she undergone any time of treatment to help her thru such a horrible experience? You need to stand by your daughter and give her all that she needs, treatment, support, a listening ear.
There are things call family interventions when the family just gets together and attack issues and problems.
Good luck to you! I can only imagine the hardship that must be to endure with your children.
2006-11-02 23:46:25 · answer #2 · answered by Slappy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That makes you a bad mother.
How could you have JUST found out about this? This is a extremely big failure of parental guidance. To even allow your son to be abusive in the first place shows your flaws in parenting. Physically beating a girl? COME ON.
EVEN ONCE is a lot. What if you were ABUSED ONLY ONCE by your husband? That doesnt change the fact that you were abused. I hope your violent son doesnt abuse his wife or future children. You can blame a large majority of this on yourself for not correcting him AT ALL. Lack of discipline.
CALL THE POLICE. thats what a loving mother would do. maybe the time in jail can teach him a lesson that he obviously didn't get at home.
2006-11-02 23:45:39 · answer #3 · answered by capusle j 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Is it a difference, if he was prosecuted for the one time, the courts should have looked into that problem, he should be in the system so he cannot hurt her again. Do you and his sister, think the punishment was to light. Not enough information, to give a proper answer.
2006-11-03 08:37:29 · answer #4 · answered by bigslick60 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh wow.this is troubling. ALWAYS believe the victim. and if your daughter is still in danger then you should contact police but if he has gone through treatment i would just stay away from him and keep the daughter away, i'd tlak to a proffessional about this or my spouse- always look out for ur daughter
2006-11-02 23:41:03 · answer #5 · answered by Alicia R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that's a hard one , what does your daughter want to do .
Is any one else in danger , that you know of ?
Forget everything I said before this turn him in these kinds of people usually don't change . Sorry Mom but it isn't your fault that it happened . DO THE RIGHT THING !
2006-11-03 01:50:18 · answer #6 · answered by Geedebb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can and will always love both your kids always but i feel you need to find out if he was abused at one time in his life to make him do this,you also should go to councileng for your self im sure your going crazy thinking and i sure hope his wife knows about this before theres kids in their new family
2006-11-03 00:05:07 · answer #7 · answered by jody.payne@sbcglobal.net 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should do whatever u think is rite.
if it continues u should get the law involved.
Yea it might have some bad consequinces but isnt your daughter worth it?
2006-11-02 23:40:52 · answer #8 · answered by blondie_XxX_blondie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋