i have always allowed him to see the chidren.i feel like it is the right thing to do.he is not helping me in any way at all.even the child support agency in my town is no help at all because he has moved to a different state.he will not give me any information about where he works or his address.he comes back every other weekend to his parents house to see the children.i just do not know what to do.i can not afford a lawyer at the moment.
2006-11-02 15:34:43 · 23 answers · asked by susan b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When you deny the father his right to see his children, you are also denying their relationship with ther father. Its good that he wants to see his children. So many children don't get that privilege. I think that if you say no you cant see them than it will get turned around on you and you will end up being the bad guy in the whole situation. You can contact the child support agency in his state and they will take your case and work with your caseworker their. If they don't you can take actions against them. I say look into the Child Support Agency and tell them your situation of his failure to pay child support.
2006-11-02 15:57:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It would be simple for an outsider to sit there and say no, don't let him see the children he should keep up with his responsibilities and pay up. But you have to think about how the children feel, are they happy when Dad comes around. Your children need their Father in their life. You also need to be able to support your children and if you are having a tough time, then, maybe you need to tell him not to come around again until he can give you some money for the kids, or at least take the kids and buy them clothes or what ever they need. Have you filed with the District Attorney? I hear there's is away to get what he owes you in child support out of his tax returns, if he gets any. Look into that.
2006-11-02 15:55:58 · answer #2 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have two issues: Lack of payment for child support and visitation with his children.
Your local Children Services or whatever they are called should know where he has moved. They can track him and garnish his wages. The other thing they can do (at least here) is arrest him for non-payment. If he comes home every weekend, they need to know that information. Let them take care of this issue.
I have a real mixed feeling on the children. I don't like having children in the middle of the adult issues. He is their father and other than abuse and drugs, he should be able to see them. My other part has that tug saying if he can't be bothered to ensure they have their needs met, why should he see them. But this again puts the children in the middle - not good.
Depending on your finances, check your area for Legal Aid groups, local Law Schools, and Women's Legal Assistance groups. Sometimes you can find lower cost or pro-bono assistance.
Good luck. I know how frustrating it gets. There are days I want to just scream. Mine are 14 & 12 and the 14 yr old is beginning to reconize the negative qualities in his father.
2006-11-02 15:49:56 · answer #3 · answered by Margaret K 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try contacting your main state child support services and possible the one for the state your husband lives in. Also do a search for collecting child support. Try your state sites for the Division of Family Services and Child Support Enforcement. There are places out their to help you. But don't stop visits. That will just land you in court and if you can't afford a lawyer you'll probably have problems.
2006-11-02 15:41:32 · answer #4 · answered by somethingorginaltoponder 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's very difficult to tell the father of your children that he can no longer see them, but it is also not right that he doesn't even attempt to pay child support. Maybe you should talk to him and tell him that if he doesn't start paying child support that you are going to have his parental rights taken from him, which you can do. There are agencies who help women in your situation and if I were you I would contact them. If all else fails, just take his rights away and when your children want to know why you tell them the truth - if he doesn't love you enough to help take care of you, he doesn't get to see you at all. Lots of luck!
2006-11-02 15:38:59 · answer #5 · answered by The Nana of Nana's 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, just as your husband is in contempt of court you would also be in contempt of court if you no longer allow his court-ordered visits. A greater concern of mine would be (If I was you) that he may take the children and leave the state. Since you don't know where he lives it could take a long time to find them and get them back. Most divorce decrees state that the parents have to keep each other informed of current addresses and phone numbers. Contact a private investigator. I'm sure he/she could track him down.
God bless you & your children!
2006-11-02 15:41:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't want to give ill advice but you probably don't want to take matters into your own hands by denying him the visitation however if you do know that he is returning to see the children and you know the date and time you might want to contact the sheriff's office and see if a bench warrant can't be served for contempt of court and a few days in jail may wake him up! Good Luck and God Bless
2006-11-02 15:40:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know it is very hard to have to do everything by yourself because I am in your shoes as well. No money in the world is worth keeping those kids away from thier Dead beat dad. At least he is making an effort to come and see your children. I would keep bugging the Distict Attorneys office as much as you can. Hopefully that will work.
2006-11-02 16:41:42 · answer #8 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is your ex husband not your children's ex father. People that tell you to keep your children away from their father are sick in the head. Never discuss your money problems in front of your children. When you say "no" to something make sure it is never because you don't have the money. Teach them the value of a dollar. If they want something, teach them how to save for it.
Remember this, even if you two were still together you might be having a cash flow problem.
What kind of a father your husband chooses to be is his choice. Just remember you are the one that chose him to father your children.
2006-11-02 15:51:57 · answer #9 · answered by lily 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
This guy replaced into an fool. If he had researched the criminal implications of his determination "to help out", he might have found out that he could have secure himself against any and all destiny new child help claims by capacity of dealing with a registered sperm donor economic organization. people to donate their sperm privately don't have the protection that the sperm economic organization contract promises.
2016-10-21 04:33:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋