When a marriage gets stale, people say "have a date night" but....?

Question

How is date night any different for any other night? Hubby and I have been together for nearly 15 years and we have two children (3 and 6). Most nights we have very little to talk about and when we do have a day or night out alone (once a month or so), the conversation is gossip about friends, or stuff about the kids....nothing exciting or stimulating. So I don't get it? When two people know each other inside and out, what their opinion about everything is, how they'll respond to any question, how does this one-on-one time help stimulate things?

Answer 1

I too have been married 15 years.....we have 5 kids...yes 5....I am a slow learner and it took a while to find out what was causing it lol. I know what you mean you know each other so well....and you are right all you talk about is the kids, bills, what you have to do around the house before winter hits all that romantic type stuff lol.
But you know what...its really just about having you time...not having the kids around, just the two of you. It doesn't really matter what you are doing, where you go...just have couple time. My wife and I go every Sunday for groceries...I know Yea Haa lol but its just the two of us no kids...no dogs...no cats....just us and yes we usually talk about the kids and stuff...but I really look forward to OUR time together.
Just make time for yourselves
Best of luck

Answer 2

I've had people suggest the date night thing and the wife and I have had much the same experience you mention. We have one daughter at home and babysitters are not easy for us to find but occasionally we are able to get one . We've been married 20 years ourselves . I think going out to dinner and that is fine but it doesn't seem to stimulate more than the usual mundane conversations to some extent . I think it's a good idea to steer the conversation towards the great outstanding and fun times of the past perhaps , go a little wild , rent a room for the night , have a few drinks in the hotel bar and just cut loose with a rousing conversation such as I mentioned. Or perhaps go to a concert or comedy club so you'll have a fun experience to take away and then enjoy some closeness and whatever happens from there . I think we somewhat forget how to date , so we need to think outside the box a little and find something distracting and adventurous perhaps to make it more than the average evening . We've had some success with this method for date night . Just basically cut loose and do something a little wild you normally don't do .

Answer 3

To me, a date night is just going out and having fun, whether it be spontaneous, adventurous, or just going out to a dinner and/or a movie, it doesn't even have to be about serious conversations. People say to have a date night because it is your time with your husband where you can either both relax or paint the town red. It's your time together where you can let the night take you where it goes. It's a perfect thing to do in any relationship, married or not. I suggest finding an activity that you've always wanted to do but never done, and you and your husband should make a night of it, and vice versa. Make it fun and crazy and spontaneous, surprises are always good to spice things up. And it's an excellent ice breaker, you may even find more things to talk about in the process. Don't knock the idea until you've tried it. Good Luck!

Answer 4

In theory it is to get you away from the same old things & something new to talk about. But you are right, if you just go out to eat & talk about the same old thing then nothing will change. Chicken is chicken my dear if that is how you cook it BUT that is were spices come into play cuz you can make it taste like anything but chicken.

It is what you do on the date night that matters. Get a new outfit & a wig, something that is so NOT you. Have him meet the new you at a place so he will be shocked. It is not possible to cheat on your spouse with your spouse (even tho some boring people will say you are). Seduce him & get him to work at getting you into bed (like a hotel room) dont be a sure thing. When alone be so NOT you again (everyone has a sexual fantasy so have at it). If he likes it then you are screwed in a good one & let him change the next time. If he (or you) does not like it, then you are screwed in a bad way & look into knitting or something else to occupy your time.

Answer 5

The idea is that you treat the situation and your spouse like you were still dating. Doing the little nice things that you used to do back when you were still trying to impress him/her, or right after you were married and madly in lust with each other. I know it's tough because you do know each other so well, but it's mostly a game of "let's pretend" for a few hours at a time. Pay attention to each other -- really pay attention, not just hear what you think your spouse will say in a given situation. Hold hands. Go for a walk. Go dancing. Do whatever it is that you did back when you were dating. Have fun with it. Forget the kids for a couple of hours and concentrate on being together -- really together. Good luck!

Answer 6

No two people know each other inside-out. Go out on a date, but do something the two of you have never done before. Go some place you have never been before. Don't come home that night. GET A ROOM. If you can surprise yourself, you will definitely surprise him. Try to find something to talk about that you never thought of, before. Be interesting and he will be interested, even if he doesn't agree with what you are saying.
Don't be afraid to have some fun.

Answer 7

I know what you mean. But the way to keep it fresh is to use those date nights for new activities. Try going bowling, or take a class at the local community college on horticulture or something that might interest you both but you've never done before. That will stimulate discussion on new topics and bring back some of that fun that you used to have.

Answer 8

no such thing as knowing each other inside out!! you believe that then you are and will be in a rut forever and possible divorce. how do you feel if anyone thinks you are not interesting or that they "know" what your opinion is about all and what your respond is to all and especially your husband? do you not have any creativity, special ideas, fun fantasies, new colors, new aromas, new anything...dig! have y'all laid on the ground (even in your backyard) looking at the skies. maybe not saying anything but even that silence is nice yet different. how about a picnic. how about parking#!#$%ooh la-la. go to the park and swing. play cards. oh hell see a "porno" lol. any ideas????? come on. no-one is that boring and no-one is that controlling to know one an others thoughts, opinions and "insides". I've been married for 35 years and girl i still melt when he kisses me. and yes we have the quiet and so called boring nights. I'm glad cause i have so many things i like to do. been like that always. him too. to be that boring will make you old and look old. get up and initiate something..NOW!

Answer 9

That 's your problem. You assume there is nothing new to learn or discover about your spouse or vice versa. I've been married 19 years and we are still discovering each other. How do you expect to find anything when you have all but given up the search. You could start by surprising your husband in a new and delightful way.

Answer 10

Think about it this way: Most people like talking to their brother or sister, or mother or father, or someone in their family. They grew up with them and have known them forever. They know their opinion about pretty much everything, but they still like talking to them, and have interesting conversations.

I bring that up because it shows why knowing someone for a long time doesn't mean you can't still enjoy talking to them all the time.

If you don't have anything to talk about, there's probably something more wrong than knowing each other very well.