Only looking for those with good long-term marriages for this question?

Question

If your marriage is awesome, and you've been at it for a while, what's your secret(s), specifically?

Answer 1

My marriage is awesome. I would say that is because my husband and I are the best of friends. We talk to ech other about everything no matter how it makes the other feel we talk everything out. We give each other space when we need it, but we never go out alone, like to clubs or bars, which can lead to temptation and cheating. We show our love to each other by doing simple things. The most important thing I can say to do is talk. Try to be patient and just always tell them you love them.

Answer 2

Hey there. My wife and I have an awesome marriage , we have been together for 19 years. There are many things that make for a good marriage and for good relationships in general. One of the factors that contribute to a good marriage is knowing and speaking one another's love language. Your love language may be acts of service for example while hers may be time. We tend to show love by our love language but if our language is not the same as our spouses than it is to no avail so you must learn her love language and she must learn yours then act.
Another and more simplified way to keep a relationship great over the long run is to tip the scales in your favor. What do I mean by that? Picture a hand holding a scale if you will two sides when you first meet someone you put on your best face and you are busy building good memories. The scales are tipped for the good at the beginning of every relationship because the scale is empty or even to begin and every good thing you do or say tips the scales in favor of the relationship. When a relationship hits a bump in the road because of a misunderstanding people may say or do things that are not kind when this happens the scale moves in the oppossite direction. So don't let that happen. Build good memories , say nice things and try to refrain from saying hurtful things if you have a misunderstanding then the scales will always be tipped in your favor.
Men and women in general tend to have a couple of primary needs. A woman needs love and affection, saying I love you often several non sexual affection touches throughout the day hugs , holding hands etc. she needs to be touched and not just when you want something more. A man needs sexual fulfillment and respect. Your wife should know this and seek to fulfill that need as you are fulfilling her. She can find ways to show you honor and respect or you can communicate to her the ways that you feel her respect coming through . You may feel the greatest respect from her when she speaks well of your to others perhaps or when she speaks your love language making your lunch for you , leaving you notes or whatever. Men also need sexual fulfillment , not just sex and a wife should understand this and be willing to fulfill her husband.
Why do people leave and go on to someone else? The scales have been irrevocably tipped in the wrong direction. Don't let this happen.

Answer 3

Been married since college: 40 years. We have a wonderful marriage. That doesn't mean we don't disagree. But when we argue, we never wound each other's character by name calling. We fight fair. We take our vows seriously and are honest with each other. We RESPECT each other and our marriage. We don't keep secrets from each other (unless we're throwing a surprise party). We care so much about each other that we are not selfish. I see so many young people today and they are so into themselves there's no room for their spouse. When the going gets tough, we get going, talking, working through it. COMMUNICATION is immensely important. By now, though, we've been thinking alike so long, we don't have too many disagreements anymore. We give ourselves time to ourselves; togetherness is wonderful, but everyone needs a little alone time. We TRUST each other. We are each worthy of that trust, too. We don't try to control each other. We COMPROMISE if we can't agree. We go to church together. That's all I can tell you. Love goes a long way, but being best friends takes you to the end of the road. (3 kids, 6 grandkids)

Answer 4

I have been married 37 years. Always put her first before anything and anybody. Never, ever hit her and never go to bed mad. We can argue and five minutes later start talking like nothing even happened. Marriage isn't an easy road. The problem today is to many couples just give up when something goes wrong. If it's worth keeping you have to work for it. You have to really love someone to put them even before yourself. It works both ways. There has to be love, honesty, trust and sacrifice. People are only human and we make mistakes. If you remember that then you can work through anything. Good luck.

Answer 5

No marriage is without its rough times. Its how you deal with them that matter. In any relationship you are going to have fights but the main thing is decide if what you are fighting about is really that important. Is it a hill that you want to die on? Then there is the respect and trust...you must have both...or have a partner who understands if you lack one of the two.
The MOST important thing I think is that the person that you decide to spend the rest of your life with is your BEST FRIEND! If you can not look at your spouse and honestly say....I could tell them ANYTHING and they would not judge me or hold against me what I am going to tell them...then you are going to have a hard time with your relationship. Lastly....being able to laugh at each other without someone being offended. If you can not joke with each other about anything...sex, something you did, Ect...then again its harder. If my wife does something really silly or stupid...I can tell her " You are such a door knob" and we laugh about it....same goes when I do something stupid...which I never do LOL she will say " your a retard".
And NEVER EVER take each other for granted.

Answer 6

Trust in each other, respect for each other, honesty with each other and being willing to keep the lines of communication open.

You both have to be committed to each other and to making the marriage work - and that is no 50/50 deal....some days it is more 90/10, then another day it could be 10/90, but it all levels out if both parties work at it.

Answer 7

my husband & i are high school sweethearts...we have been together for 12 yrs & married for 8 of them. trust & believe that all normal people go through there ups and downs but the key is to know and remember that you love each other and treat your relationship like there is no alternative..you have to think like there is no "without you"..so in other words you have no choice but to
make it work so you do what it takes to keep each other happy. Love is all about doing for the other what you expect to be done for you, you must remember that even when you get very comfortable with each other that you still must show the utmost respect, you must communicate and you will occasionally have to do things that you dont want to do. trust and respect each other even when you are apart, that will prevent infidelity. remember that the simple things are the glue that will hold you together;spend quality time together,keep laughter alive,share touches when riding in the car or watching tv,keep the fire burning in the bedroom but at the same time remember that intimacy isnt only sex..it includes communication,kisses, hugs,holding hands..etc have fun with each other and learn to be each others lover & FRIEND

Answer 8

Laughter & open communication.

NEVER letting things fester - if something bothers you - tell them, meet in the middle to find a happy medium and DROP IT!

Don't bring the past up - you can't change it.

SEX - there will be times that someone is NOT in the mood - I referr to that time as "DUTY BOOTY". Never say no, even if your tired. Pencil that time in EARLIER in the evening and turn the dang tv off!

Allow the other person to still have some freedom - outing with friends, etc.

TRUST!!!

Never going to bed mad at each other - that is a very important one. If that means staying up all night to make whatever get straightened out - then do it.

Never fight over money - you either have it or you don't.

You have to be friends and actually like spending time with this person. Your not going to be having sex 24-7 (we all would like that), your actually going to have to do things with this person.

Never expect to CHANGE them - marry them for what they are.

Good Luck!

Answer 9

I am only in a long relationship, and we are getting married. But communication is the key. Also you need to have time alone that way you can appreciate the time you have with your partner. Be able to read a book or watch tv and not have to be talking all the time. Also never forget to keep time aside for just you two, that way you do not lose your connection.

Answer 10

We are friends first. We trust each other. We respect each other. We have mutual goals. We allow each space to pursue individual interests. We compromise and we forgive. In short, we show love in all of its forms. Sometimes its the Christian sort that helps us put up with idiosyncrasies. We don't keep account of injuries done to each other. (Don't dredge up the past and deal with issues that are current). We don't let anger simmer and boil but address issues immediately. Sometimes we agree to disagree. We try to make decisions based on what is best for the other person and ultimately what is best for ourselves.
Our marital relationship comes before all other relationships. It is a priority and everyone recognizes this.
We keep our private lives private and don't disclose intimate activities with anyone else. It is a private thing for the two of us.