DO i HAVE TO SAY THANK YOU?

Question

I was so happy when I put together my own chair yesterday then today a screw flew out and the seat tipped. I said I'll fix it myself when I get home from yoga...he said no I'll do it because you will break it...i said I want to do it myself...h esaid no, go to yoga...I cried and said let me do it, I want to learn how to do it...he said it would be better if you left now.

When I got home he was cheerful and the chair was fixed. I said thank you but did not want to.

Answer 1

When he gets home from work on Monday, you should be making love to that slow boy from Home Depot (don't let him take off his smock) in that very chair. Use the 'Reverse Cornfunkel' position.

When your husband asks what the hell is going on, exclaim 'SCREW you, Bob Villa!' and exit gracefully...or as gracefully as one can after being Reverse Cornfunkled by a mentally challenged Home Depot employee.

Answer 2

I HATE it when a spouse just KNOWS that they know best or can do it better than you. I do not always want or desire their help. Even if they do know better, they are stealing the self-satisfaction I will get from learning and achieving it myself.

It's like nothing I say is even applicable. "It would be better if you left now?" My knee jerk reaction to that type attitude is, "Hey! It would be better if you kissed my azz now!"

There is no getting through to an attitude like that. I've been there and I know. We are NOT helpless. We can and will do what we desire to. Then sometimes when we actually do ask for help, it's like grovelling for crumbs from the master just to get help.

KMA! You did the polite thing and he probably feels victorious. However, it was not an endearing act.

No...you don't have to say thank you, but you just might as well and make the rest of the evening pleasant. It takes wisdom to realize the things we can not change.

Answer 3

In my opinion you did the right thing. You should also talk with him about how you wished he hadn't fixed it because it really would have helped with your self confidence issue. That you wanted to prove to yourself that you could do it. No I don't think you have a confidence issue but if you act the part put it on thick and he'll probably tell you how he did fix it so you can see how. Then if something along those lines happens again you can step up and do it. Just try not to bruise his ego or he may get aggravated a bit. I know, long answer but it may be worth it.

Answer 4

I'd say thank you but maybe later, when you're a bit more relaxed, tell him you didn't appreciate the condescension.

You should feel comfortable trying to learn new things and you gotta hate when someone pegs you into those boxes like that.

I'll admit though that my husband is not good with stuff like that and I've had to say "leave it, you'll break it" because if I don't, he gets frustrated and ends up breaking it. But I try to give him the benefit of the doubt unless it's something expensive.

Answer 5

I hate that. A few weeks ago, I had lovebugs smeared all over the front of my car. I was PLANNING on taking it to the car wash the next day anyway. He said, let me clean them off real quick, they'll ruin the paint. I said, no thank you, I'll worry about it tomorrow, I'm in a hurry. He INSISTED. Before I could hop in my car and leave, he held me up 10 minutes cleaning lovebugs. I sat there patiently and said Thanks a little sarcastically when he was done. He made fun of the way I said Thanks. I explained to him, well I DID ask you not to do it. I hate it when they don't take us seriously...I think it is a control issue.

Answer 6

Yes

Answer 7

Well when he fixed the chair for you, it was a nice gesture. Still, you specifically said you wanted to do it yourself, so I'd say no.

Answer 8

Say thank you and then pretend to have trouble with the washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning.. you get my drift. Pretty soon you'll have a well trained maid and you can sit on the lounge relaxing. Have fun!

Answer 9

Ah.. shame on you...lol.... My father always said a "thank you" was poor payment, but it was cash... too many people these days find it hard to say those words... I really love it when you hold the door for someone and they just walk on through and say nothing , like it was your job...hmmm

Answer 10

i think that the thank you was warrented but i owuld also let him know that it is only because you feel obligated to say it and that you would like for him to show you what he did to fix it so that next time you can fix it if he is not there when it happens.