do they go through a grumpy old man stage? my husband after 18 years feels like he is being used and gets no respect. this came about 2 months ago. we have 4 children and now he feels used. 3 of them are at home. one moved out when she was 18 and is still gone. she is 23 now. the other moved out at 18 and came back 2 months ago from washington. the 2 boys haven't moved yet. the oldest is schizophrenic so she takes my time and always will. the youngest is slow and needs my time. the second daughter isn't sure what she wants and always asking questions. the 3rd one keeps to his self and trys hard to make everyone happy. so i have 4 children pulling on me and a husband. i ask shouldn't i be the grumpy one. do men just go through this like women go through menopause?
2006-11-02 13:52:16 · 8 answers · asked by maxossa1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes men also go through a type of menopause..... as well as IMS which is Irritable Male Syndrome.... due to the fluctuations of testosterone which can even be on a daily basis.
I think he is getting older and probably tired of not being able to receive the peace and quiet that he wants at his age. He probably is also craving more of your attention and because of your children he might not be getting his emotional fill. As well, since the kids are older, he might feel that there is not much he can do as a person to help or fix them. They probably all turn to you, while they live under what he might think of as ":his" roof. So therefore the feeling of being used. Might also just be a case of wanting to feel appreciated.
Yaaa of course you have the right to be grumpy since it is probably you that is doing all the family work in keeping everyone well. What might be a good idea is for you and your hubby to take atleast one evening a week and go out on a date together.... this way you both get a break from the kids, and some much needed pampering and time together as a couple to keep things fresh. Sounds like you both could use a much needed break..... specially you.
2006-11-02 14:02:39 · answer #1 · answered by Sundar 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
At this age Us men start looking back at our lives....where we are...where we thought we would be things we did things we wished we did. Yes its normal....and he will get through it just as women get through menopause. He may feel that all he has done for his family has never been appreciated and that he just does not have any more to give...thus feeling like he failed somewhere along the way. The best thing you can do is just let him know how much you love him and are happy with all that the two of you as a couple have done together, that you wouldn't change a thing in what you have done....together. He will get through this trust me....just be there for him and if he wants to talk about how he feels....just listen and try to understand what he is saying *S*
2006-11-02 14:14:02 · answer #2 · answered by oldman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes most men do go thur a period like this, they feel they have raised their kids and now they should be able to enjoy their lives with their wife, and have time alone for crazy things again. Admit it wouldn't you love to be able to come home, house still clean and no one to pick up after and your hubby comes home and have that spark that you had when you were dating. Men want excitement and sex. Talk with him, make date nights, make him feel special too, like he is top on your list, and in return he will be happier and so will you. Menopause is not an excuse for him to be grumpy he is feeling neglected. And right now you need him just as much. Hope I didn't offend you in any way, you did want answers though.
2006-11-02 14:05:36 · answer #3 · answered by magicallybeautiful10plus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 46 and Sundar makes good points, he probably does crave more of your attention. He might be thinking 10 years down the road, will you still be fixing the kids problems or will you want attention from him. They probably don't want to "play ball" anymore, and yes as guys we tend to be more opinionated in a narrower view than a woman might be, so unless the car or the computer need fixing or the garbage needs to go out he's feeling left out of your lives. Honestly the kids will make it, they'll surprise you, but you and your husband need to grow, go out, a spontaneous weekend perhaps, heck let him plan it. And if you let go of the kids for a few hours when they do call he'll be ready to help, maybe with new perspectives.
2006-11-02 14:20:01 · answer #4 · answered by wheeldave2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men and menopause.what rubbish i have no idea what the Symptoms of Male menopause.is and i am over 80
2015-10-23 20:53:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no...he is at the stage in life where he feels it should be his time...it is a bit of a midlife crisis..but not permanent......i am 50 so i know of what i speak...he is just feeling like it is time for you and him..give him some of your time as well..he feels neglected..
2006-11-02 14:05:40 · answer #6 · answered by KT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes and no
2006-11-02 13:55:38 · answer #7 · answered by chiefof nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know
2006-11-02 14:01:14 · answer #8 · answered by J.r. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋