my life is over and i don't know what to do.?

Question

I was married for 6 years. During the 5th year i went to Iraq and my wIfe started cheating. We have two children. I have tryed to work it out but she is not anymore. it got better for about 8 months now i just dont know what to do. I hate spending a second away from my daughters and the only person who i ever loved does not feal the same about me. I am having a since my b-day 2 years agow my life has been falling apart. i just want some advice some help becuase i feal so freaking worthless right now and i dont see any light at the end of the tunnel. please no jokes and no stupid comments. thanks all

Answer 1

I am not sure why you should feel worthless. You went to Iraq to fight for your country and your wife decided to cheat on you. You did nothing wrong except be a man. when a relationship like this ends or seems to be ending it does feel like your world is falling apart....because everything you know is not there anymore. If your wife does not feel the same about you then I would find a way to move on and find a woman who would be more than happy to have you. Any woman would be lucky to have a man like you. It is great that you want to spend as much time with your daughters.....it is important for them to have such a doting father. Hang in there, it will get better....Good luck!

Answer 2

First off, thanks for serving your country.

I am in the same boat, but mine was 13 years and 3 kids. My wife cheated and then bailed on our marriage. Every day is tough, but there is hope. Like you, i loved her with all my heart. You did your job... that's what we promised at the altar. Here's the first thing you have to be ok with... everything happens for a reason. #2, there is always hope. Get into counseling and talk about this stuff. Arrange to have the kids 1/2 the time, like I do. Your days off from them can be filled with chores or other things. Get into some sort of club or group where you can make new friends. Call the friends you have and go out and have some fun. Set some goals and work towards them. Get your life back into order and be the best dad you can be. You have to pull it togehter for your little girls. It's all for them now. After a while, you'll be ok, you'll see. Give yourself time and don't have a relationship for a while until you are ready - like a year. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever comes. Cry if you can, it helps, really.

You'll be fine, man. I'm living proof.

Answer 3

Hey there is no need to be talking the way you are.You have two daughters who need there daddy whether they live with you or not you will always be needed by them.There are plenty of people out there that are looking for someone just like you who want you to trust love and cherish them for the rest of there lives but you cannot do this all the time you are thinking there is no light at the end of the tunnel.LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT and by the sounds you are beginning the process that you need to.Move on you will find someone who wants exactly what you want and always remember there will always be your two little girls no matter what happens or where you are in the world.Fancy a chat email me and i'll get back to you as soon as possible

regards and goodluck

louise xx


GOODLUCK

Answer 4

Let me tell you something life is not all gone because of some cheating spouse. You can still be the best daddy you can be. You still can spend time with them by calling them and staying in thier life and picking them up when it is your turn to see them. You need to go out and start having fun being single. If she is unfaithful then she is not worth having for a wife. I say show her that you are moving on and start taking time for you. Dress the best you can and start making new friends. Get yourself out there and mingle with others. Show your ex that you can live without her as your wife. Do not act as though you want her back she will just disrespect you even more. Move on and start having fun. Believe me you will feel better and she will start to look at you in a different light.

Answer 5

You did what you had to do when you went to Iraq.Now,do what you have to do to get YOUR life back together. You will always have your daughters,start from there.Focus on being the best dad you can be.You could be married 6 times in your life but your kids will ALWAYS be your kids and that is reason enough to keep going.They will always need you in their life. Get in a support group or counseling,I dont want that to sound lame but sometimes you need a little support for yourself. If theres one thing i know it's you can't change people if they dont want to change.It's not love anymore if you're not loved in return.Work on you and your relationship with your kids and everything will work out as it was meant to,I promise. Good luck,I wish you well. I've been there.

Answer 6

Your life is obviously NOT over because you are here and in your right frame of mind to ask for help. You don't specify if you and your wife are still together. I'm assuming you're not. I have been through divorce and I know it's hard to be away from children when the other parent has them. It's natural to miss the ones you love. Especially your own flesh & blood.

You need to refocus right now and try to see this as not your LIFE falling apart but life as you once knew it. Times change. People change. Circumstances change. Things yesterday that seemed so devastating to me I now look back on a realize they were blessings in disguise. God closing a door and opening a window. It usually took me a while to find the window, but when I did! Wow! That doesn't mean there won't be any pain involved when going through this. Just keep focusing on your future rather than your past. One second of thought about the past is a second of your life wasted. You've really wasted enough - 2 years - on this. It is quite natural to grieve a loss of this magnitude. It's God way of helping you heal. What concerns me is the length of time you have been dealing with this. I wonder if you've allowed yourself to grieve your loss.

God has a plan for you. Right now you aren't understanding it and it's hurting because YOUR plan has fallen apart. Try to see the bigger picture. Take your burden to God and give it to Him. He is much more capable of bearing it than you are. Seek His guidance for your future. Ask Him to guide your steps. Ask Him to help you out of this present darkness. He is the only thing that got me through.

Praying God to bless you, keep you & give you strength!

Answer 7

God Bless You....lots of women would be so lucky to have such a great man like you! Of course I would advise you to leave the whore, but that is, in fact, easier said than done. I'm so sorry to tell you that you do have to take a deep breath and see a lawyer.....cry it out every night and in two months, you'll still feel the burn, but you can not stay in an unhealthy relationship. It will drain you emotionally, and she will be home free, if you get what I'm saying$$$. If you need a friend, you can email [e-mail] I don't mind! Good Luck:)

Answer 8

Sweetie don't feel worthless, that chick you called your wife is worthless and has no sense of value. Any man who will risk his life to save a bunch of fat *** Americans has my respect. You don't need her. I know love hurts and a broken heart is the hardest thing to live with but remember to your daughters you are Superman. You seem like a wonderful man and any chick with her eyes closed could tell that. You are worth more your weight in gold. Keep your head up soldier! God Bless you and no matter what choice you make remember your daughters.

Answer 9

Try your hardest to reach out to her. She is obviously having an issue that the two of you need to sit down and talk about. There is something missing and the both of you need to figure of what that is. You should try to work it out for the children, since they are involved. It's the worse thing that could happen to them. Think about them first and if it still doesn't work then at least stay on good terms with her for the sake of the children.

Answer 10

It is normal to grieve a lost marriage,you are doing that now. Do not feel worthless, because you are not. You have much to offer
someone,who will value you as you are. Your life is not over, you are ready to venture to a new and exciting life, embrace it. Your daughters will always be your, if you are separated, make sure you have visitation rights in writing, see a lawyer. Meanwhile, find things to do that you are interested in, if you have no interest, find some. Be good to yourself. You have fought for your country, be proud of yourself- you deserve it.