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So here it is we have been married almost 13 years he could not keep his hands of me when we were dating now he never wants to make love. what should I do?

2006-11-02 11:54:14 · 21 answers · asked by christine z 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

21 answers

time has a way of changing relationships. when you were younger you had each other, now you have grown apart in a way that is damaging your relationship. if you are sure that he isn't seeing someone on the side, then it could be he doesn't feel very attractive, nothing will end intimacy like feeling like you are not attractive. he has to feel attractive, unfortunatly coming on to him may not help. it has to come from him. he has to look in the mirror and feel like he is a sexy person, self perception is very important to a good sexual relationship.encourage him to do things that will make him feel attractive. say things with out putting on the pressure, like nice butt honey, when he is bending over. tell him he looks nice when he does, let him know you find him attractive, tell him how strong or intelligent he is when he does things that impress you. i have found that talking about it can make it worse, he will be frustrated if he can't fix things and will just feel less attractive. if you still have this problem talk to a professional, maybe it is a medical problem.

2006-11-02 17:38:05 · answer #1 · answered by cvgm702 3 · 0 0

Marriages go thru ups and downs. Some men start to question the relationship after that long. My ex and I were married for 8 years. The spark was fizzling. Then she suggested things like, putting an X rated movie in and watching it, she went out and got nightys and wore them. A man starts to feel the pressure of a relationship too, sometimes it takes a woman to think differently than she has for the past 13 years to bring the spark back. Maybe ask about a fantasy that he is having and help him fulfill it. As long as it doesn't break the rules of marriage.

2006-11-02 12:01:50 · answer #2 · answered by shepherd169 2 · 0 0

One question I have is, how long has it been like this? What has changed? Obviously, there is a problem, and you have to get to the bottom of it.
Sit down with him and quietly talk it out. Do you need counseling? Is there another woman? What has changed for him? Each of you sit down with a list of questions and answer them alone before you come together and discuss your situation. You DO have a serious problem. Do not delay, and don't bury your head in the sand. Be prepared, though. You may not like everything that you hear, but clearly you cannot go on like this. Good luck.

2006-11-02 11:59:37 · answer #3 · answered by Nisey 5 · 0 0

Time changes all things, including sex drives. You could try & flip the ole switch by putting on something sexy & give him a little strip tease. Sometimes people just need to be reminded that sex is & can be fun, & it's also helpful for a healthy relationship. As time begins to change things in the bedroom, we have to find new ways to keep it interesting. Although it may seem unfair, you may have to be the one who always starts it first, but if you don't mind that then have at it. :)

2006-11-02 12:09:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Find out why he hasn't put more logs in the fire to keep it burning. The same things it took to bring the two of you together are the same things it's going to take to keep you together and to keep the fire burning. You have to communicate and find out what his need are and try to meet those needs to the best of your ability. Sometimes a man just wants his wife to turn into a hooker and take complete control of the situation. We as women always look for the man to pursue us, but the truth is that men like to be pursued also. Pursue your husband in a naughty way and once you get a rise out of him, go for it.

2006-11-02 12:03:56 · answer #5 · answered by Special K 5 · 0 0

Marriage counseling. suggestion telling you to go instantly to divorce comes from pathetic, egocentric those who do not comprehend a thanks to artwork by a real disaster. Drag him to counseling. Porn habit might want to be leaving him with not something left for you. He needs treatment, it really is a valid habit. He needs to toughen up and are available sparkling and allow you to comprehend precisely how he's feeling, what he needs, what he needs, and he needs to make your ideas as a lot as prevalent treatment with a qualified psychologist. You took vows, in disease and in well being. habit is ailment. help him, do not sit down there and wallow in self pity and confirm him. Donna's suggestion is completely one of the suitable position to commence. get rid of the computer. save any memorable pictures and video clips and music you should CDs and then format it and then get rid of the computer. swap to difficulty-free cable the position there's no chance of observing porn. placed the cable/information superhighway account on your call in basic terms so he's not approved to make any subscription differences. Have your mail dropped at a P.O. container for which in basic terms you've the most important. No mag subscriptions. DRAG him to treatment. If he's unquestionably dishonest (relationship internet sites are a wide pink flag for actively dishonest and not in any respect in basic terms "information superhighway sex") then the priority runs deep and he's already so immature and socially handicapped that he can't even overtly communicate with you, it could be suitable to go away him. If he's unquestionably dishonest he will not stop, no count number what you're saying or do.

2016-12-05 11:46:20 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

ask yourself are you the same person that you were 13 years ago?, have you relaxed your appearence? Try to remember what turned him on about you, try to recapture that. Also what about him, is his job demanding and stressful? Does he work long hours? Fatigue and/or stress can greatly diminish a mans sex drive. Perhaps you guy's need to get away for awhile if you can.
remember that communication is vital in any relationship, talk to him, not at him, but to him, tell him how you feel , that his lack of attention makes you feel unattractive to him, ask him if he would like to try new and different kinds of sex with you, be open to any ideas. But talk to him.

2006-11-02 12:04:43 · answer #7 · answered by deejayspop 6 · 0 0

Take it easy. He's 13 years older than he was when you were dating. The sex drive changes over time. Maybe you should try getting close to him in other ways. If he likes to go fishing, go with him. Have breakfast in bed. Do something new together. Maybe you need to reconnect on another level and/or maybe you should get used to your new maturing sex life.

2006-11-02 11:59:10 · answer #8 · answered by Butterfly Princess 4 · 0 0

b patient,may b he has his own problem that he doesnt wanna share with u.or he need something new on it.try different way to serve ur husb.some husb wanna make a strange r wild stuff on bed bt doesnt say bot it because he knows that his wife dunlike to do that.so he jus quite bt also doesnt have mood to make love with wife.as long u do it with husb,its ok

2006-11-02 12:06:31 · answer #9 · answered by cute 2 · 0 0

You must have dropped the ball. It is not always time that takes away motivation for sex. usually it is the failure to keep it interesting. Spruce up your appearance and technique. Men are not hard to motivate.

2006-11-02 12:02:13 · answer #10 · answered by mr conservative 5 · 0 0

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