ok, my ex just got married, We have a 4 year old daughter together which he has nothing to do with and tells no one about, and not he did not tell her, even though she was a planned pregnancy, his new wife has my space, so I just created a page and sent it to her, mean or not mean enough::
2006-11-02 11:06:53 · 32 answers · asked by stephaniencurtis 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi This picture is of my daughter Alleigh, so sweet isn't she. Amazing to think there is anyone in the world who could not love this child, but there is. Alleigh was born 2 months pre mature, she weighed 4 pounds and 7 ounces, for weeks she fought for her life, yet her father did not even have the decency to come and see her. Her father, Chris Perkins, asked me to marry him, I agreed, we decided to have a baby, so we got pregnant, and he was thrilled. A few months later he walked out on me, and never looked back. When she was a little over a year old, I confronted him one day, he denied she was his, until he saw here, then there was no denying it, he came to see her once, then walked out on us again. Now this wonderful example of a human being just got married, and I am sure his new wife has heard all about her, ya right.
2006-11-02 11:07:49 · update #1
She is now 4 years old, and I am sure never even crosses this jerks mind. Well I hope this serves as a reminded how I will have to explain to this little girl one day that her daddy didn't want her.
the additional details are what is in the my space posting
2006-11-02 11:08:20 · update #2
No I do not get and have never gotten one dime from him, he is in the military so she would be entitled to all of his benifits, he is not stationed here so there is nothing I can do
2006-11-02 11:13:08 · update #3
It is not my fault she does not know about my daughter, would you not want to know that the man you just married has a daughter, I sure would. if it is that big of a deal that it ruins their marriage then he should have told her to begin with.
2006-11-02 11:17:18 · update #4
I would never tell her that her daddy didn't want her, but I know that is how she will feel, his mom and dad live 3 houses down from me and drive by everyday, and they do not claim her either, we live in a tiny town so I will have to tell her one day who her dad really is so she doesn't marry one of her cousins
2006-11-02 11:22:24 · update #5
Tell her, her daddy died and really he did in spirit its too heart wrenching to say her dad didnt want her. I wouldnt stop at just telling her. Whats going on with child support thats kind of a blow to the head I guess it just depends on how much but either way I think thats a better come back . So she finds out he has a kid not a big deal he doesnt want nothing to do with her but with paying child support that effects the both of them whether they like it or not ha ha.
About the military thing thats not true you do have rights and you can get money from him especially through the military it doesnt matter where he is stationed. My friend married a guy who had a daughter and they moved away and they garnished his checks just figure out where he is stationed at and tell someone there whats going on I am sure they would be more then willing to help you. They are pretty strict in the military and you could even get discharged for cheating on your wife at least thats what they told me just check into it.
2006-11-02 11:19:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, good for you. It probably wasn't even mean enough! But at least you have a venue to tell her all about it. Better than I could ever do. I have a daughter who just turned 3 and her father left the country and went back to his country when I was 2 or 3 months pregnant. Trust me, if I had his parent's phone number or address in India everyone in that town would know. He basically told me to get lost when our daughter was about 6 months old and I haven't heard from him since. I did, however, let his 2 best friends know that he is the father of my girl and he was too scared and irresponsible to be a father.
2006-11-02 12:21:33 · answer #2 · answered by october g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a fan on revenge, it darken the soul and weaken the mind. Friedrich Nietzsche once wrote: "If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you." Don't become the person that you hate. Forgive but don't forget.
I know as you read this, in the back of your mind whispers the though of me being self-righteous. I assure you, I am not trying to preach on being a good person; I know nothing of what you are currently going through. However, you must understand that people change and their perception as well; your husband might not be the same person that he was 4 years ago. I bet in the past 4 years, you too have grown, much in age, and in wisdom.
To carry the hate as you yearn for revenge will only cause you to become bitter. You don't want your daughter to grow up hating men, do you? Get yourself together and become a woman of the 21 century, the kind that is strong and independent.
So what if he hurt you, do you regret having your daughter? Why use her as a pond in your game of chess? The only loser in the end will be your daughter who had never asked to be born in the first place.
Best wishes. Just remember, " Life is not about having a good hand dealt, it about playing a poor hand well."
2006-11-02 11:37:37 · answer #3 · answered by Inquisit 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go see a counselor and sort it out. You need someone to tell you what your options are. If he is in the military you can make him accountable. The military doesn't look kindly on their members being irresponsible with their dependents. Marriage does have its benefits. If you were his wife you would have more ground to stand on. Go consult a lawyer too to find out what you can do. Your daughter is his daughter too. If she were suddenly famous he'd come to claim her in a second. Try to get covered under his insurance (for military and dependents) at least for your daughter. He'll probably have trouble in his marriage before long because he was dishonest. The best revenge of all is to forget someone. You need to work on (with a counselor and a support group too if you can find one) getting rid of your anger and finding someone new. Once you do you'll not care about him or his new wife. I'm sure he's not going to be a good husband. He's not to be trusted and he has run from his responsibility. Next time don't get pregnant unless you're married (happily). Good luck with everything.
2006-11-02 11:36:44 · answer #4 · answered by psi2006 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with letting his new wife know this way. She should know and I dont think your were mean at all. I am sorry that this is how it ended for you but know matter what you love that little girl,give her security, and always be there for her. I love my little girl more than anything in this world and she makes me so happy. It takes to people to bring a child into the world they are expensive and onree how could someone deny their own child. He will regret it one day if not sooner and she will grow up with no respect for him she will figure it out on her own that daddy isnt in her life. So I hope that his new wife can get him to take care of his responsibilities with his daughter if not at least she will have you.
2006-11-02 11:25:15 · answer #5 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That, to me, doesn't really sound like revenge. Personally, I would be quite upset if I got married to someone and they had a child, and didn't tell me before hand, or at all. Regaurdless of if he wants to be a part of your child's life or not, his new wife definately has the right to know about this child. I think it's pretty childish and selfish of him to deny something so beautiful that he helped create, but he wouldn't be the first. I give you a standing ovation for letting his new wife know what she should have known long before now, and I hope that you and your daughter are well :)
2006-11-02 11:23:00 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer M 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That was incredibly mean, but at least you were honest about wanting revenge.
His wife has nothing to do with you or your little girl. Yes, he is a jerk- no doubt about it. But the real loser in this situation is you. Your ex does not deserve the time and energy you're putting into trying to make his life miserable.
Spend this energy being the best possible mother to your daughter. Makes yourselves as happy as you can. Improve your life so you can live happily and provide your daughter financially and emotionally. Let your daughter make up her mind about her father on her own terms. It won't be hard for her to see what kind of man he is (or what kind of grandparents she has).
You purposely went out of your way to hurt an innocent bystander, which is what your ex did to your little girl. That makes you no better than him. In fact, it makes you worse.
Don't let your anger continue to consume you. No one benefits from it, especially your daughter.
2006-11-02 11:38:10 · answer #7 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I understand the frustration. A father figure is very important on a child's life. At the same time, retalliation won't provide for your daughter. Its petty and almost childish. I would be rippin mad too but theres no point in breaking up a marriage and tossing another woman out into the single world. What you might do can seem like you're jealous or one of those psycho exgirlfriends. PLEASE don't perpetuate that idea. Let him go and focus on providing a balanced life for your child instead cause she is SO much more important than that weasel right
2006-11-02 11:12:20 · answer #8 · answered by andthatshypocricy 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Honestly, why are you still keeping up with his life? And why were you searching for his new wife's myspace page? For all you know he told her that he left you because you were cheating and that the baby isn't his and that you are obsessed with him. Then you come along and do this ... now who do you think she is going to believe?
Face it ... you aren't going to get any revenge.
Just file for child support. Being in the military is no excuse. He will have to pay.
2006-11-02 13:08:30 · answer #9 · answered by BoomChikkaBoom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know what I was where you were 7 yrs ago. My daughter has not seen her father since she was 6mos old. SHes happy and I dont have to worry about custody visits, now granted I dont get child support either. Just let him alone. WHen she comes knocking on his door at 18 wanting to know why he was such an *** youll get your revenge then. Just try not to bad mouth him in front of her so she knows you arent the reason he stayed away and doesnt get angry at you for his absence.
2006-11-02 11:12:39 · answer #10 · answered by Catie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋