am i free ?

Question

ive had a hurtfull and trouble some past unfortunatley, experienced alot of pain. im 29 now and still want for so much in my life. unfortunatly i do have a criminal record tied up with a mental health one. i wish i could go back and erase this. but obviously i cant. i feel like i desperatly want to deal with my mental health probs, so as i can start to live my life. i feel an urgency about this. i havent got a serious criminal record but i have one for a couple of offences. unfortunatly to i spent 18months in a psychiatric hospital, i feel ashamed and bad about this. what i worry about is that i want to sort my life out, get employment and achieve things, i would like to move away from britain and i dream of living in nice surrounds with a loving partner. but alot of the time i get incredably down because i think my past might stop me? the things i want seem so far away and seem to difficult to achieve. my mum says take one day at a time but thats diff.is it to late for me?

could my past stop me doing what i want to do. am i free? right now theres alot of antisocial crime and youths about. and i want to move away to build a better life. and alot of the time i feel trapped

Answer 1

Ok, Stop, think, breathe, and take a deep breath again.

1. It sounds as if you're still hurting.....and you need to take back control of yourself.
2. Try to get help and remember therapy only works if you make it work...you have to agree to help yourself.

3. If you see everything as getting better, then it will be.
4. Perhaps you're just impatient....so please be patient with yourself..it took you 29 years to get to where you are, and you can't change overnight....l think you need to giver yourself credit for trying.
5. don't ever stop trying to better yourself.

6. Now do I hear anything about spiritual development....and that really helps during trying times.
7. Do you understand that? ...trying times, and we all have them, you just are more aware of your circumstances.

Now, can I cry on your shoulder for a little?
I was so happy to finally be pregnant at 38 and my daughter was stillborn 3 days before Christmas....yes Merry Christmas...and my heart was broken.
The next year I was pregnant again and high risk and only got to 7 months before emergency c-section.
My ex-husband and I split before he knew I was pregnant, and I have been sole support of my daughter...almost 17 year old.
She now is cutting/slashing/self-mutilating herself, so I had to get a court order to get her into therapy.

So what?
I still am a human being, and I get help when these things happen. Does that make me less of a person? No, my mom a long time ago said, no one is worth dying over and no one is ever worth going to jail over, so if people are bad to your, walk away.

The point I'm trying to make is that I have a B.A. degree, and an MBA, and was a CPA.
I never stopped trying even though in my late 30's things fell apart, and now in my 50's some friends and my daughter have medical problems.
I still have to be me, and keep trying...and by the way GOD is always there to take me back just as I am....YUP, just as I am DEAR GOD, I surrender all.

I think God looks down at us and laughs! There is nothing you could tell God that he hasn't heard before...think about that.

Answer 2

It sounds like you are sincere. When I was 29 I literally had nothing. And I mean nothing. I was homeless and all that goes with that. I remember back then too, how alone and sad I was, actually depressed. I wanted someone to share life with and love and be loved. I didn't have a job, I worked out of day labor. That only paid enough to exist on, barely. Food, cigerettes, and so fourth. I remember being so impatient, wanting more, and yet knowing I was a million miles away from it. At times I wished I wasn't alive, but yet, I kept working and trying to move toward my dreams, and having someone. It wasn't easy, and when I look back I wonder how I ever did it. But it was the struggle that seems important. Ten years later, when I turned 39 I had a very good paying job, today, I'm 48 and my good paying job is a very very good paying job. I make over 100 thousand a year. I have someone who I share my life with, nice toys, and own land. The point is, no mater how difficult things get, when you think your going to loose your mind, just keep going, and in the mean time try to enjoy each day. I know what your going through, and it will be difficult, but just keep going, keep the dreams you have, and one day if you don't give up, it will happen. Unfortunately life is not fair. It should be, but it isn't. There is alot of greed out there, mean people, and unforgiving people, but just keep your dreams, keep faith in you, and things will change. That is a promise. It's all up to you and your strength inside.

Answer 3

Honestly... If you're ready to change your life, it will be hard but you can do it. You have to have a lot of strength and faith in yourself. You can't give up if you screw up once or twice. You have to keep going. Never let anyone bring you down. Especially yourself. Start doing things that you love. Spend time with family and friends. Enjoy yourself. Get a job that you adore. Just live your life the way you want to. Don't let regrets or the past hold you back. You have to admit you made some mistakes and have a past, but you're ready to move on. Don't give up on yourself. Because if you give up, you'll never get anywhere. Just keep your head up. And get involved in things you love/like.

Answer 4

You are only in control of so much. Picture your life as a series of steps, that lead to achievments. One step at a time you will get you're life back on track. Just concentrate on whatyou can change and follow through with that.

Answer 5

If i will be able to get a hazard to make a factor loose to might magogi ki mujhay bhaut sara meals miley jo ki might un garib persons's might baat saku jinay ki meals nahi mil tha or bina meals kay hello mar ja thay hai.

Answer 6

do what you want life goes on just say this is me and i don't give a dam what people think about how i look, what i wear, or what i do with my life. we all have problems and we all have done things in the past. but think this if i had not done that if those problems did not arise and the mistakes i learned from were not there, than what made me who i am. that is what makes us different. i glad i'm alive and i'm me. thank god i made it.and he made me who i am today.

Answer 7

It not too late. It never too late. You are the one that's locking you up so you of course can free yourself. Everyone makes mistakes so dont blame yourself. If you never make mistakes then there will never be any room for improvements. Good Luck. Im sure you can do it if you try.