Ok, so I have a good friend that recently came out this summer. He has had two boyfriends since, but now he is single. I'm fine with his sexual preference and support him... but he's been acting strange lately... He's been doing wierd things to my other female friends, like slapping/pinching their butts, excessively grinding with them at dances, etc. It concerns me because, one, my female friends seem to be ok with it, and two... he's supposed to be gay... right?
So, my question is, does this mean he's still gay, or could he be bisexual or confused about his sexuality?
Oh, and another thing... now that he's been openly gay for the past 5 months, he's been acting like he knows it all and says he can tell other people are gay just by looking at them or observing their actions. (Gay radar/Gaydar) Is this possible?
Thanks!
(Sorry this was long.. I just really need help with this one...=/)
2006-11-02 10:05:48 · 7 answers · asked by bbrocks218 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
We both are 16 years old and juniors in high school.
2006-11-02 10:07:24 · update #1
A lot of gay boys (specifically younger and less mature) feel that because they're not a "threat", they have a right to get all grabby and touchy-feely with their female friends. And...it really depends. It's not an automatic thing to assume, but if your friends are ok with it, then whatever. If he does anything to you to make you uncomfortable, call him on it and tell him it's inappropriate. That said, I don't think it necessarily means he's confused, or bisexual, and almost definitely not straight.
For the other part, he may very well have "known" all these things before, but just didn't talk about it because he wasn't out. That said..."gaydar" is tricky. When some people say that, it means they're just following stereotypes (which, frankly, is not impressive). Other people are COMPLETELY guessing, and that's not too impressive either. Other people, though, are good at picking up on subtle body language, little "tricks" that we all (gay people) used at some point, especially when closeted, and eye contact. There's a good chance he's right. There's also a decent chance he's full of it. Test him out?
2006-11-02 15:24:07 · answer #1 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a typical gay guy to me... they are very affectunate with female friends and love to dance with them... he's probably gay. I don't know about the gaydar part... even after I knew I was a lesbian it took a couple years before I could actually pick them out of the crowd but some people catch on faster than others. It's harder to tell in a place like L.A. where I live. Everyone's metro-sexual so that makes it harder.
2006-11-02 18:45:40 · answer #2 · answered by Des Demona 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lots of questions!!! Ok, let's begin the answering section:
1. He's gay. I know gay men who like to grab women's breasts or asses. I don't know why they do it, but they do. And hey, I'm a lesbian but just last night at a Halloween party me and a gay (male) friend were grinding and practically humping one another on the dance floor. It's fun and safe for the two of us because we know one another & it grabs attention.
2. Yes there is gaydar. I know I have it for men, and for some (but not all) women. It really depends on the person. I know people with lame gaydar and people with superb gaydar.
Hope that helps!!!!
2006-11-02 18:53:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that sounds like a typical gay guy to me. Nope not confused, I have had many gay guy friends and we go to bars and they love to perform(dancing) for other people to watch. Yes he probably can tell if other people are gay. Oh remember they are the best friends to have, they can dance have fun and you are completely safe with them...
2006-11-02 18:09:59 · answer #4 · answered by mylife 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is common for gays to think everyone else is gay also. It is just like the tweeker that thinks everyone else is on some drug.
He may just be obsessed with sex from the sounds of it.
We also like to place folks in boxes of identity.
Sexual preference is just that a PREFERENCE.
If I decide to get off with someone that does not peg me in a box for all eternity.
2006-11-02 18:10:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is totally typical for most gay guys, he is finally releasing the energy he has held back for so long. totally embrace him!
2006-11-02 18:24:31 · answer #6 · answered by Vanity 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to talk to a councilor about this, that is what they are there for. I would turn you off, you need someone you can talk to and trust, I would be speaking as a parent.
2006-11-02 18:17:32 · answer #7 · answered by Thomas S 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋