How do know when it's time to walk away from your marriage?

Question

I am married and have been for the last 4 years. While I do love my husband very much, and am a christian woman who believes in the bond of marriage, I can't help but feel that my marriage is not a good situation for me. We both are very strong minded individuals which we OFTEN CLASH. In the beginning it was physical, names had been called (by him towards me). I'm more laid back , whereas he's more attacking and doesn't like to be challenged. Recently, I gave myself over to GOD to try better myself as a person. The day before I was baptised we got into a VERY heated argument that compelled me to leave our situation. I stayed out of convience of our housing arrangment and the children (step) involvled and with the understanding that we would communicate better. Well... It's been a 3-weeks and while I haven't seen the same patterns as yet, I can't help but feel like I don't want to do this anymore for fear that things will go right back to square one. Please give me your insight

Answer 1

As a new Christian you must understand the perils of not being equally yoked. Unfortunately the marriage is already there, so the best way to handle it is to change yourself. I know that sounds less than helpful, but when you change your attitude towards the situation and ask for God's help, more than likely you will stir something in him. He may change his behavior because yours has changed. It is even possible he may himsel;f come to God and ammend his ways. Remember love, for love's reason alone, is more powerful than anything else on earth.

Answer 2

DIVORCE AND SEPARATION
God, the Originator of marriage, designed it to be a permanent union. But is there any Scriptural reason for a person to divorce his or her mate—and one that would allow for the possibility of remarrying? Jesus addressed this matter by declaring: "I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery." (Matthew 19:9) Sexual infidelity by a mate is the only ground for a divorce that will allow the innocent mate to remarry.
In addition, the Bible's words at 1 Corinthians 7:10-16, while encouraging marriage mates to stay together, allow for separation. Some, after trying very hard to preserve their marriage, feel they have no choice but to separate. What can be acceptable Scriptural grounds for such a step?
One is willful nonsupport. When getting married, a husband assumes the responsibility of providing for his wife and children. The man who willfully fails to provide the material necessities of life "has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith." (1 Timothy 5:8) So separation is possible.
Another is extreme physical abuse. So then, if a mate physically abuses his wife, the victim may separate. (Galatians 5:19-21; Titus 1:7) "Anyone loving violence [God's] soul certainly hates."—Psalm 11:5.
Another ground for separation is the absolute endangerment of a believer's spirituality—one's relationship with God. When a mate's opposition, perhaps including physical restraint, has made it impossible to pursue true worship and has imperiled the believer's spirituality, then some believers have found it necessary to separate.*—Matthew 22:37; Acts 5:27-32.
However, if divorce is pursued under such circumstances, one would not be free to enter a new marriage. According to the Bible, the only legitimate ground for divorce that permits remarriage is adultery or "fornication."—Matthew 5:32.

Answer 3

at the start, permit me ask you which you do no longer experience ashamed of what you have pronounced approximately? Marriage is a Bond it incredibly is had to be carried on till finally end. on your case, it incredibly is extra effective than 18 years and having a ideal spouse besides as a daughter, what's the reason of you presently to think of approximately strolling away?! extremely impressive and heart breaking tale! Have ever theory on the subject of the existence of your spouse and daughter in case you walk away? possible understand if any unusual element has occurred. yet your concepts is vacationing someplace else. My advice is which you seek for advice from a sturdy Psychologist or Psychiatrist who would be waiting to unravel your problem which will shop the different 2 lives additionally. don't experience missed to do the considered necessary on the earliest feasible. sturdy good fortune.

Answer 4

Certainly no one here can decide that for others, but we can help direct you to the right support. You seriously need counseling.

This story is unclear. Are there children involved, and whose children? When things go that far, it is doubtful you will ever go back to a loving relationship. There is much more to this story. You are active in changing, but is he also compromising?

With children it is very difficult to split. The children need a father and mother. Love is a logical decision and an emotional one. Don't let either override the other completely.

Answer 5

When the respect of your spouse is gone, so is the marriage. Alot of people do not realize or want to realize they can be difficult to live with. My ex sounds exactly like yours. NOTE: HE IS AN EX! My life turned around in so many ways after divorce-all for the better. I have a great man now who the complete opposite of what I was married to. You have no idea how great it feels to come home with no expectations of confrontations, name calling, intense arguing. Take the experience you have gotten-you aleady know the answer to your question.

Good Luck

Answer 6

sounds like a place where every woman has been in a marriage... you need to have a serious talk and if one of you is not willing to change then it will go back to square one. noone said marriage was easy it a job you always have to work at it.. dont give up easily that makes you the bad person but if you two do decide to call it quites make it a mutial thing no arguing

Answer 7

When you say in the beginning it was physical. Do you mean hitting? If this is the case and he's calling you names, then ask yourself why you are staying in a controlling, volatile, and potentially dangerous situation? This will kill your self esteem! As for the children (step) what do they say about their dad? Is he abusive or the same way towards them? If so, I'd call Social Services and report abuse. Don't live your life in an unhappy situation! It's not good for your, the kids or him.

Answer 8

heavy. only YOU know when you've had enough. no one can tell you when's the best/worst time to go. you've entered into a sacred relationship and owe yourself and your family a strong attempt or two to make it work. this takes BOTH of you. in the mean time take a look at yourself to see if there are things that you could change/do on your part. if so work on them. never forget that it takes 2 to make it work. it takes time to make a change. you can't rush it. however, abuse is abuse physical or mental and NO ONE should be subjected to that. ask him if he minds seeking counsel ( clinical or religious). take it from there

Answer 9

4 years is a long time to be married. I can tell you believe in it by calling it a 'situation'. I can't imagine that two Christians wouldnt want to be challenged. Hmm.

Answer 10

Definitely talk about your feelings with your husband, maybe he is not aware. I would suggest reading your bible also for direction (it helped me when I went through similar feelings like yourself), it restored my knowledge that a marriage is sacred and honored in the eyes of Elohim, so remember this and be strong, and communicate!!