if your spouse had an affair...?

Question

how did you "know" it was over? i mean really... over. there are a bizillion web sites with "signs your spouse might be having an affair if" type lists etc... and nothing for the signs an affiar has ended. are there subtle signs like sadness or anything to look for? tell me how you KNEW it was over between your spouse , and thier "other person".

Answer 1

Tell him to prove it to you by any means necessary! Tell him to give you her number so that you can call her and ask her yourself. Tell him that it's his JOB to make you feel secure about the situation since he's the one who ****** up in the first place. If he's really trying - then you should be ok. If you have any doubt in your mind - you're probably right.

Answer 2

you left out alot of info., such as how long the affair lasted and if it was confirmed by evidence such as husb. admitted to having or you caught them in the act, also if it was confirmed and now you want to make sure it is over, well if you decided to forgive him then you must believe that ther is a possibility that he is capable of making ammends, if not then you really should move on, also if he is being more attentive to your needs that may be a sure sign that he is ready to make things right with you, he should also have to prove himself to you, such as letting you know where he is going and what time he will return as well as who he will be with, he should do this voluntary to prove that he can earn your trust, i know alot of couples who have forgiven there spouses, and that is the key word forgive, and after a while im sure you will be back on track, you may also consider marriage counseling, but you must first decide if you are capable of forgiveness, or there will be no way the marriage will work, i hope that he is also sincere about the end of the affair, if so he has alot of work to do , and so do you, if he is still secretive and cant account for his where abouts, and gets defensive when asked questions then he may still be having the affair, i wish you the best of luck

Answer 3

You know the old saying if you can't play the game, then don't. she was real careless in my opinion, I had this feeling and just went with it. So I guess you can say that when they say if you think your spouse is cheating then their are. The fact that she did really wasn't the down side for me. It was the fact that she said (to herself) you know what I think I'd like someone else for tonight, I was that easily replaceable. She cheated knowing that it would possibly destroy me, our family & marrige, for the longest I blamed myself. Maybe I had been neglectful, boring, unloving, WHATEVER! But after the anger and humiliation passed, my focus was clear and I have moved on from that it's in the past where it needs to be. Well it's not over, & crazy as this may sound. It really bothers me that it doesn't bother me if that makes since. I mean yes I know that our marriage is over but I don't feel like I did in the begining of everything. I guess this how I know it's over.

Answer 4

Does it matter if it is over between them? I mean, I would be looking more at your own relationship, because if I were in your shoes, I think I'd be trying to figure out if things are over between me and my spouse.

But, to answer your question...I don't think there is really any way to know for sure, unless you make sure that ALL of your spouse's time is accounted for (if it is, there is obviously no time for him/her to cheat). And, you could always go the route of having your spouse followed...private investigator or just do it yourself.

Answer 5

I wrote this for the ones that have been cheated on...

It doesn’t matter anymore.


I used to sit and wonder to myself,
what it was, I did so wrong.

Could I have treated you different?
or wrote you, a beautiful song.

I loved you with all of my heart,
and I believed, you truly loved me.

You used to say, I was your true love,
and there was no place, you’d rather be.

How could a love so wonderful and pure,
change, from the day we first met.

Was it I, who did you wrong,
or a friend, I will never forget.

But now, it truly doesn’t matter anymore,
why, you hurt and cheated on me.

Because I know, deep in my heart,
It wasn’t I, who cheated on thee.

So I just want you to know,
that if you ever, think of us two.

My life was truly changed, my dear,
and I deserve, a lot better than you.



By: Kenny P aka- Cobra

Answer 6

It's hard. It's based on trust which has just been shattered. You have to trust him if he says it's over, but keep your guard up. There is no way to really tell for sure, and honestly, those lists are BS because if they are good enough, there's no way to tell if they are cheating either. But you can drive yourself crazy trying to find out, or find proof. If you feel you can't trust him at his word, perhaps you just need to leave. Pray a lot!

Answer 7

similarity in backgrounds and histories oftentimes does make for a sturdy dating. u the two know how a lot injury has been brought about by capacity of your spouses, and in all probability would possibly on no account try this to the different understanding the way it hurts. do no longer blame your self for what your spouse chosen to do. concentration on the recent love, and make her a concern and forget what occurred, as u can on no account circulate returned interior the previous and alter something.

Answer 8

When my ex spouse had an affair, I didn't put any emphasis on whether or not it was over between him and the other woman. All I cared about was that it was over between him and me. Booted him out and got on with my life.

Answer 9

I never was able to get over the affairs period, whether they ended or not was of little consequence. The fact that they occurred at all doomed our marriage forever, even if it did take another five years.

Answer 10

It is hard to tell because the trust is not really there anymore but is he remorseful do he try to make it up to you everyday if the answer is yes then i would believe it was over.