I had an affair...a huge mistake...one I regret daily. I HAD a great sposue, loving, easy-going, faithful, and a good parent/provider. BUT I did the wrong thing by getting involved with someone who was just an amusement when I lost my job. My spouse was supportive, but I became bored and contemplative...and the individual who approached me has (unbeknowst to me at the time) a lengthy history of being involved with married persons. I did think the affair would lead to "forever after", but my new found friend ended up being a full blown pathological lunatic and it was my spouse who helped me out of that nightmare! BUT my spouse sees me as non-trustworthy and can't live with the worry...can't forget/forgive...wants to, but can't. What can I do?
2006-11-02 09:04:58 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It doesn’t matter anymore.
I used to sit and wonder to myself,
what it was, I did so wrong.
Could I have treated you different?
or wrote you, a beautiful song.
I loved you with all of my heart,
and I believed, you truly loved me.
You used to say, I was your true love,
and there was no place, you’d rather be.
How could a love so wonderful and pure,
change, from the day we first met.
Was it I, who did you wrong,
or a friend, I will never forget.
But now, it truly doesn’t matter anymore,
why, you hurt and cheated on me.
Because I know, deep in my heart,
It wasn’t I, who cheated on thee.
So I just want you to know,
that if you ever, think of us two.
My life was truly changed, my dear,
and I deserve, a lot better than you.
By: Kenny P aka- Cobra
2006-11-02 09:08:15 · answer #1 · answered by Cobra 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Realistically, there is nothing you can do. You cannot force or manipulate your spouse to take you back any more than you can force someone to love you. The best thing you can do is own up to your mistake, say you are sorry, promise it won't happen ever, EVER again, then give your spouse space. Tell them you'll wait. Then: wait. Do NOT wait like 2 weeks then move on. The trust that you built up over the time you were married can't be fixed with a band-aid. Suggest therapy, ask what you can do to prove you can be trusted, whatever. But don't be too overbearing. Don't beg & plead. Just give them the space that they need. And I wish you luck.
2006-11-02 09:12:22 · answer #2 · answered by Ryan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would like to wish the both of you the best of luck, and my only suggestions are, 1) let go and let god have the situation, however this is easier said than done. 2) seek family counseling,3)give it plenty of time and be patient. I really hope for your sake that you two can work things out but speaking from a personal experience if the two of you are strong enough you have good chances and keep all this between the two of you and professionals don't drag a bunch of outside influences who claim to be your friends and know what they're talking about into this , because all they will do is get between you two and make matters worse.unfortunately it wasn't a pleasant ending for me but then again there is a reason and a purpose for everything and I know in my heart that someday it will be a happy ending and I'm willing to wait for that moment and It probably won't include her, but no matter where I go or what I do know I know God is present with me and I can fully rely on him. God Bless and Again Good Luck
2006-11-02 10:38:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to "win" your spouse back. Forgiveness comes from one person in the equation. And there is not a whole heck of a lot that the other can do about it. Maybe I can help you this way. Forgiveness is a strength and not a weakness. Forgiveness is found only in love and has nothing to do with kindness. Forgiveness is a gift that can only be givin' freely, not by the proding and prying of those in search for it. Good luck!
2006-11-02 09:28:58 · answer #4 · answered by yourluckystar69 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, u can't just force your spouse to trust u after breaking his trust in u. Can't say I blame him. I'm surprised after all this that he actually gave u his support. Sounds like a real good man to me.
It's up to your husband whether he decides to give u his trust again or not. He has to come to terms with it on his own. The only thing u can do is show him that u are sorry and that u will never do it again. The rest is up to him. But don't be surprised if he decides to leave u afterall. U reap what u sow.
2006-11-02 09:14:14 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you and your spouse should consider spiritual counseling. Re-dedicating your lives to Christ, asking for forgiveness of your sins ( you may feel it's all your fault, but the other spouse plays a role, even if it's a small role in your cheating), and asking God for the strength and courage to get thru this difficult time in your marriage. The fact that your spouse didn't just up and leave you speaks volumes.
2006-11-02 09:13:43 · answer #6 · answered by NURSING FOR LIFE!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely, the Aussies as is their wont will play puzzling, it really is not open to communicate! some gamers play might want to nonetheless call the playing cards or the photos like Clarke, Chris Rogers (marvel), Faulkner, Haddin, Pattinson, Siddle, Lyon & Doherty. at situations England might want to be very weak to the colourful Aussie part yet it really is it, I challenge a lot about the Aussie batting, a capacity for a lengthy time period now. The bowling became continually promising, a effective crop of quick bowlers being accessible like Jackson chook, Hastings, Kane Richardson all with some good %. & flow. in spite of the indisputable fact that, the promising batters have not come by, Khwaja not in want, Cowan promising yet not completely good, Warner in basic terms prevalent for pulling the rabbit out of the hat & Maxwell untested at this aspect. Yea, England genuinely are the outright favorites, its in basic terms a count number of time even if the Aussies capitulate contained in the first attempt or not! which will deliver shivers down their necks & in the adventure that they are down 3-0, then the Ashes urn comes decrease back to old blighty
2016-12-05 11:39:16 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things are never going to be the same and you can ask him to forgive you, but he will never forget. You probably hurt him more than he ever though you could. Breaking your spouses trust is hard to recover from. Give him some time and space, and just be ready to start all over.
2006-11-02 09:14:33 · answer #8 · answered by Gonzo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly don't know what to tell you. While we were still dating, my guy cheated on me. I of course found out, and I thought I could forgive and forget. I have forgiven him, but I certainly cannot forget. I still have bad dreams about the *****, and sometimes hate him for what he has done to me. I just have to deal with it now on my own, as he is a good father to our 2 kids.
It will take time, but be patient with him, and continue to prove that you are a good person, companion and parent. None of us are perfect, and he has to realize that. If he wants to keep the family together, he will have to learn to trust you again.
2006-11-02 09:24:10 · answer #9 · answered by Stacy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't think there is anything that you can do. You have broken that trust, and although he still loves you (shown by helping you out of your mess) he will never be able to get that out of his head. Sorry but you majorly F'd up. He is trying to decide in his mind if he wants to stay with you or not, he needs to decide if he wants to go through the fight. There really is nothing you can do, but be careful if he thinks your intentions or your actions are not true then you will just push him farther away. He needs time and space.
2006-11-02 09:22:49 · answer #10 · answered by Joesmoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋