My man never wants to have sex. NEVER.
We have sex like once every six months. I used to get upset about it -but I just don't even try anymore. It just turns me into an emotional mess and he just gets defensive. I used to think he had a problem with porn - but we got rid of the computer at home so I don't think that is it anymore. He gets up early so he is asleep at like 8pm and I am up til at least 11. But what about weekends, hell - he could wake me up at 5 - I don't care when we have it, but I need sex!He is always making sex jokes - but he is all talk and NO action.
So - what's the deal?? Do some people just have NO sex drive.
Oh - and I know he is not cheating. There is NO WAY. He never leaves the house. Except to go to work . So I don't suspect cheating at all.
What do I do. Leaving him is not an option. I have 4 kids and # 5 is on the way. So yes - we have had sex, but seriously the last time was the day this baby was concieved - over 4 months ago.
Help me!
2006-11-02 08:51:58 · 29 answers · asked by hunnyimissu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh my god - we are in the exact same sitauation -except I have only two kids and have my tubes tied-so i am not pregnant- I think it is just pure laziness on their part and take us for granted. Mine all he does is sleep too-when he is not working he just lays around like a pile of crap-it's funny becuase most of the time men are begging for it-no the women-I totally understand your pain-if u ever need to talk jut email me through this website
2006-11-02 08:58:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 4⤋
He either has a medical condition - have him get a FULL checkup - diabetes, heart conditions, low testoserone can all reduce sex drive as can some medications
or..
he is cheating with someone at work (before, lunch, after)
guys just don't lose a sex drive until they are around 60 unless there is a medical reason.
the only other thing I can think of (and you will not like it) is that he finds you so unattractive that he can't even begin to picture having sex with you anymore. have you gained weight? do you have anything sexy to wear? do you always do the same thing in bed?
If he is healthy you could try a last ditch effort and watch some porn with him and then see if that helps.. other than that.. I'd say counceling and possibly divorce if you still have a problem.
2006-11-02 16:56:33 · answer #2 · answered by .... 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I know what you are going through. I have the same exact problem. My man only has sex when I beg him and thats only half the time. Your problem is maybe related to the kids. He is probably turned off at the thought of sex because you have so many children. I know that you are already pregnant and he has no excuse now but maybe its just subconscious. What is his excuse to not have sex? Mine is that he is always tired. Try to dress up in a sexy bra and panty set and let him know you mean business. Get the kids out of the house for at least one night a week. If this problem persists you should talk to him and maybe talk to a therapist with him. Maybe this problem is deeper than you think.
2006-11-02 17:11:03 · answer #3 · answered by angel l 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Has he consulted a doctor about this? My husband kinda doesn't have any sex drive either, and a doctor suggested he gets his testosterone levels tested. Low testosterone can cause diminished sex drive, as well as contribute to other health problems; there are treatments for it. Have him seek medical attention.
Maybe he's avoiding sex because he doesn't want anymore kids? If every time you guys have sex you get pregnant - that must be a huge turn-off. How many kids can two people possibly produce on a limited budget. Try using birth control, it really works.
2006-11-02 16:59:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
It sounds like his mind is somewhere else........Even if you are a beautiful woman inside and out ....something is taking his interest away from you. Finding out about what that is, is another thing....Does he talk about an individual he works with more than he should? Does he talk at all about his desires???? I know some one that is happier reading those smutty romance novels then sleeping with her husband....Maybe he has the same kind of problem.....When you first got together did he have a tendency to masturbate....some people would rather fantasize then have intimacy with another person
2006-11-02 17:10:49 · answer #5 · answered by D K 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First of all, you do not need sex. Stop treating sex like air, food, and water. YOU DO NOT NEED IT ANYMORE THAT YOU NEED ANOTHER HOLE IN YOUR HEAD.
I hope your house is spotless, organized, and run with all out efficiency. If you have dinner on the table every night, all the laundry caught up, the bills paid, and the kid's homework checked, (not to mention the other 900 things that a women is supposed to do everyday) and still have the time and energy for sex, then you NEED to have your thyroid checked.
You should love your husband with or without sex. Suppose he ever gets injured in an accident or something where he can never have sex again, would you be whining and complaining about not getting laid then? Just love him and be nice to him. Don't nag him. The other will come along in time, meanwhile you've got to take a chill pill.
2006-11-02 16:59:12 · answer #6 · answered by HazelEyes 5 · 1⤊ 5⤋
Some men just dont have a sex drive. my husband is only 27 and he could go the rest of his life without it and be happy. i do go to get it once a week, its usually once every 2 weeks. some men are just like that but if you could get him to go to the doctor to make sure something else isnt going on that might help.
2006-11-02 17:39:33 · answer #7 · answered by dixiebabe2383 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you need to turn the heat up in the oven. I don't know of any full blooded American man who doesn't want to jump his woman's bones. Maybe it's you, maybe it's him. Check out the situation and move on from there. You better think of ways to get what you want, and soon! He sounds like he is making excuses.
2006-11-02 19:33:31 · answer #8 · answered by Special K 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you poor thing - i know how u feel. My ex fiance`, who just broke up with me last week, was exactly the same. we had nt had sex in 7 months and it drove me crazy. i know she wasn't cheating either... she just has no sex drive.
what we were doing was seeing a gyno (your man obviously cant) and the gyno was going to give her some hormoan shots to increase her libido. maybe if ur man see's a doc they can do something about it, cause it could be related to stress, depression or a heaps of other things.
There's definately an issue though and you should try resolve it now before it puts great strain on the relationship like it did with me.
Good Luck..... i wish my next girlfriend will be like you : )
2006-11-02 17:01:00 · answer #9 · answered by Justaguy 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Damn. I know I could not go even half that long. This is odd. I don't know any guy that can go much over a week without it....and this guy goes months. Does he have a hard time geting it up? That is the only thing that even comes close to making since. I'm sure you have tried seducing him. If not, try it. Do everything you can think of. If worse comes to worse, take care of business yourself. Get a toy and do what you gotta do.
P.S. Bravo for you for not cheating on him.
2006-11-02 17:00:28 · answer #10 · answered by TripleTattoo™ 4 · 1⤊ 4⤋