Oh, the joy of having divorced parents. This will be our first Thanksgiving as a married couple, both of our parents are divorced and re-married/ or dating other people, ALL of them want us to spend the entire Thanksgiving with them, which is nearly impossible to go to 4 different places on Thanksgiving, especially since they all live about an hour and a half apart from each other. Should we just have our own Thanksgiving, and not worry about the rest of them? We could just tell them we want to spend the Holiday alone, or would that be rude? THEN, there's Christmas coming up, too! UGH! What do we do!? I don't want to hurt any family members feelings, but I don't want us to wear ourselves out going from place to place to place, ya know??
2006-11-02 08:44:36 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Thanksgiving
I remember our first Thanksgiving as a married couple and seeing we did not want to hurt either side of the family silly us had dinner at both place… one thing I have to say about that MISTAKE…. Way too much food lol! Seeing you not only have to deal with two families you also have the dilemma of the fact that both families have essentially turned into four. So in your case to have dinner with one and dessert with the other would not work. If you are really looking forward to spending holidays with the families you could set up rotating around with them with all the holidays throughout the year, you have Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and many family do a family gathering for News years day at least ours does. Perhaps you could select a different family for each holiday. Of course this is until the kids start to arrive. Once they join the picture its time for you to make your own family traditions with them. And Leave it up to all sets of grandparents to find away to share in the joy with them. I know there is really no easy answer to your problem I hope the suggestions we all give help. In the meantime have a Happy Thanksgiving!
2006-11-02 09:15:45 · answer #1 · answered by Karen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough problem.
Going to 4 different places on Thanksgiving is too much.
One Thanksgiving, I received 2 invitations. I solved the problem by going to 1 place for lunch & the other for supper.
So, you could try this & maybe do the same thing the day after for the other 2.
As for Christmas, try splitting them up between Christmas Eve & Christmas Day.
You could also switch off alternate years.Solving this problem will require some understanding on everyone's part, but you should be able to reach a workable solution.
Good luck & God bless.
2006-11-02 17:04:41 · answer #2 · answered by WillyC 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be good to have Thanksgiving at your own place, your first one being married. You could call your relatives and have a nice phone conversation, and let them know that you wanted to spend the holiday at home with each other. Same goes for Christmas. Holidays should not be stressful. Make sure you are happy. Phone calls and Christmas cards are widely accepted and appreciated.
2006-11-02 16:52:23 · answer #3 · answered by newmum06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear ya, I'm in the same situation (but only on my side) LOL
I would have the holidays on a rotation basis.
Your house this year (should be interesting to see who comes up)
Then at your mother's family next year
Father's family the year after that.
Husband's families will see you for Christmas this year and do Thanksgiving in other years. Once again, on a rotation basis.
Get a color charted wheel.
Put it in your Address Book. You know, the kind you keep for ten years. This way you will keep track and be "fair"
Good luck!!!
2006-11-03 12:27:31 · answer #4 · answered by emilsignia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, maybe you should start your own tradition. Have a nice Thanksgiving meal at home. Invite people of your choice. With Christmas coming, try alternating. Have it on a certain day with so and so at their place. The other family on a certain day at your place. Next year, alternate.
2006-11-02 19:54:19 · answer #5 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite your fathers and their mates for Thanksgiving and your mothers and their mates for Christmas.
Tell them that parting with their spouses was their choice now they have to live with the consequences. It's not your problem.
2006-11-02 22:37:40 · answer #6 · answered by DeborahDel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stay at home and invite all of them and whoever else you want and if they want to be with you they will show up and get along...if not, you certainly gave them the opportunity. Don't let them make their problems yours and don't let them put you so unfairly in this position. Good Luck and have a great day.
2006-11-02 16:57:16 · answer #7 · answered by Barbara H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would point out that holidays are suppose to be fun, not some giant hassle or popularity contest. I'd stay home and invite people to come over, if they can't get along, well that's ok, they are free to stay home too.
2006-11-02 16:47:22 · answer #8 · answered by Yo it's Me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's so much nicer to have the holidays at your house, you come up with your own traditions, and you plan the meal, clean up sucks, but it beats the driving, and the headaches
2006-11-02 16:47:23 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got your own family now. They're all on their own. Have it you way.
I, on the other hand, will be working double shifts. Eat a turkey leg for me...
2006-11-02 16:53:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋