My mother and father?

Question

recently my parents have split. i am 15 almost 16 and well. my friends seem to be running away from me. My mom was al alcholholic since i was born and now that im 15 and shes gone i kinda miss her but shes in jail. my dad seems happier but IM NOT!. and i dont no how to get through this. I love my dad so much but i just cant stand living with him. i pay bills now to help out almost 700.00$ a month. i work yes. i have np helping out but. since its winter and i get less money and i have other priorities like buying myself some winter clothing so i can atleast have some fun this winter. my family isnt very wealthy. though with our house and clothes and **** you would think we are. anyways anyone help? have anything to say about what i should do. cause this is leading me to depressing and being a teenager im scared i may become "suicidal" like half of my friends. and id ont want to tell my friends at school since they lie to me and seem to always want to runw hen i have problems...thank yu

Answer 1

If I may... Sweetheart... first.. here is a big hug from someone who cares...

It's been a long time, but I went through kinda the same thing and it does hurt right now. This will pass, unfortunately it is kind of like grieving but the person is still alive. You will get through it.

As for me, I finally got it when I accepted Christ.
This may not be the most popular answer, but it is true. Christ is very real, he is right there beside you, and he loves you more than anyone on this earth can. What does it take? Just ask him into your life. It is as easy as that, He will do the rest. You want and need peace. You are shaken and need security. He will mend your brokenness, give you peace and a JOY that is out of this world.
I know... cause he gives it to me everyday

Answer 2

OK....
You need to forget being sad about your Mom not being there. She is a major destructive force to your family.
Don't waste your emotions on her. Her first love is not you it is alcohol.That is the problem with Alcoholics and any drug addict. Second when they are there they try to control everything. Since they can't control their own lives they make a mess. Be glad she is away.
You did not put why you can't stand living with your Dad. In any case if he is not molesting you or a drunkard then you can't be so hard on him. If he simply does not make enough money then that is just an economical problem. He needs to budget his money better. If you don't like him because he makes you do a lot of work around the house and he does nothing then maybe it is time to move out of the house. But I see you are 15 and you should not be working. It is against the law to hire a 15 year old. You have to be sixteen and part time. This is a disgrace caused by your parents.
Here is what you should do. Go see a High school counselor. Your friends have no experience and have no solutions. They are kids and can't begin to deal with your problem. You need professional help. Not a church dweeb those people have bad ideas that don't work. They live in a bubble.
You need a MFAC Marriage and family counselor. They have them for families like yours for free through the county. My Mother was a MFAC. They are licensed therapists specializing in family issues. They can help your whole family and they will want all of you to participate. This will get you out of your debacle. (look the word up in the dictionary on line).
There is a lot of bad advice here about just being strong and tuffing it out. Do not do that. Tell the counselor that you need to see a MFAC. Tell them the situation and they are required to report abuse by law! They will set this up. You are working at 15 this is abuse. Imediately the County will step in a social worker will assign you a MFAC to work with and your family will get some help and some options. They won't put you in a foster home unless the abuse is way over the top.
The other way is to write to Dr Phil and go on TV. Heck I would do that as well. You will get the best treatment.

Answer 3

just get through it like you have been. remember the there is a lot of things going on around you yet you dont have to "let it" get u down. I get sad about things too, then that passes and I feel all right. When I have a problem (that is kinda big 4 me) I do this visual exercise where I picture myself, then the city and everyone in it, then the states, the globe, the solar system, and finally the universe and so I REALIZE how very "small" I am and my "problem" is not that big after all. Try this- IT might do u justice. Peace & Blessings.

Answer 4

First off what are you doing working at the age of 15 and paying the bills in the house? you need to be enjoying your school years and playing sports that can at lease get you into college somewhere to better yourself in the long run. It's not your fault your parents cant support you or themselves but never should a child support her parents financially. Do you have any friends that you can depend on and they arent in a financial bind that you can go stay with and save up your money? $700 a month can pay your own rent somewhere. Dont ever think about killing yourself because then you will just go to hell and make the people who did give a damn about you suffer. Tell your dad he needs to be a better man and step up to the plate on his financial situations. Your just a young lady who should be stressing about a guy or homework even what outfit you should where tomorrow. Girl feel free to personally email me at [e-mail] if you need more advice because i was just like you and now im a supervisor at HISD school district, living on my own and i have a 2yr old daughter that i take care of by myself and im doing just fine at the age of 25. Take Care of yourself.

Answer 5

Look you sound like a good person. Just sit down with your dad and talk to him about how much of a burden it is to fork out $700 a month. Tell him you need some of your money for clothes and some time with your friends. Try and find that special one amongst your friends who doesn't mine being a good shoulder to cry on. As long as you have that kind of friend, so what with the rest. Take it easy don't grow up so fast, I know hard times push to growing up, but slow down. Sorry about your momma, but enjoy your dad while you can.

Good luck !

Answer 6

honey i understand compleely what ur goin through but you need to just let tyme heal those woundz!!! as for the money issue your dad should fee fortunate that you even help out at all because that is you hard earned money and you don't have to be payin so much every month!!! i would just stick it out because ur already gonna get older and graduate and son you will have ur own apartment and you wont have to be so miserable!! that doesn't help with the mother problem though!!! There is nothing you can really do but don't just sit there feeling sorry for yourself that's how depression starts!!! write her letters if u miss er so much!!! And find freinds that will listen and support you and who will keep ur spiritz up!!!

Answer 7

First off, I am so sorry that you have to deal with that at such a young age. At 15, you shouldn't be paying bills, you should be enjoying your teen years. I think you need to speak to someone that can offer real assistance to you. Maybe you can try a school counselor or if your religious, maybe try your local church. You need someone to help you work through this. Someone you trust and can talk to. Keep your head mami and always remember what doesn't kill you WILL make you a stronger person.

Answer 8

Do you have any grandparents that you could move in with. I was in the same place your in now at that age. My grandfather left me a little fishing cabin on the lake when he died, I moved in there after my parents split. It was tough but I survived, and you will too. If you can get away from your dad and move in with other family members you will find some happiness. Good luck and stay positive.

Answer 9

Who do you look extra like, your dad or mum? FATHER who're you extra like character smart, your dad or mum? mom- basically a lttle who're / have been you closer too, dad or mum? mom- nonetheless no longer that lose, nonetheless Who gave you the extra suggestion you nonetheless use on the instant, mom or dad? NEITHER fee your mothers and dads from a million to 10, in accordance with their parenting skills, ten being maximum. Sorry, i think of i'm going to pass in this one...

Answer 10

I am speaking from experience. I thought about suicide when I was broke, depressed, on drugs and had no one to help me get my head on straight. It was me and my dog. I loved him so much and couldnt stand the thought of my best buddy not having me to take care of him. So suicide was not an option. I forced myself to do what I had to do to survive until better circumstances came along. I eventually went homeless and lived in my truck. I saved enough to rent a room by the week. A while later I managaed to get an apartment and although I was still depressed and hated doing construction work in Arizona where it was 110 degress all the time...I pressed on. People who I thought were friends showed their true colors. Even ones that I went ouit of my way to help turned their backs when I needed someone. So Tucson (my dog) and I carried on. Eventually I moved back in with my folks in Illinois. Since I was in my mid 20's by that time and used to being independant it was a tough pill to swallow. I enrolled in a local univeristy and earned a degree in computers. As a high school student I graduated 416/430. I was lucky to graduate. In college I graduated Summa *** Laude with a grade average of 3.92 I was determined to make something of myself. The road was long and hard. I sacraficed a lot including fun times while I stayed home (at my parents house) to study. Shortly before I graduated I met my wife. That year Tuscon was hit by a truck when he ran off after a rabbit. He died in my arms. A year later my wife and I lost our first born son. He died in our arms in the hospital. I thought I was tsrong after dealing with my own personal stuff, but this was a whole new ball game. My marriage almost failed. But I held my chin up and I marched on. I was strong for me and my wife and my stepson (JP). Our baby, his little brother, died on JP's birthday. Today am a successful computer engineer. My wife and I own a nice home in the suburbs. JP has a little sister that is almost three. She was born with a cleft lip that was sugically repaired. She wil have a couple future plastic surguries that are much more painful fo rthe parents than they are for her. The moral of my story is this. You can only count on yourself to keep your head straight. Suicide is only hurts everyone else around you. It is never an answer. You must stand tall, set your objectives and decide for yourself how you will achieve them. Never lose site of your goals. When you realize one make another and keep marching. Always keep your eyes open to opportunities. What you achieve along the way will develop your character and your self esteem will soar. You will love yourself and wehn you do someone else will love you. Then you can walk the road together. You have a lot of life to live and as a young woman you will have many challenges along the way. Keep your chin up. Finish school..its important despite the boredom etc. and dont look for answers in bottles. The fact that you came here for help is enough to tell me that you are not a quitter.