What should I do if my husband keeps leaving the house?

Question

I've been married for five years, but everytime we have a fight, my husband leaves the house, some times for a couple of days, sometimes for a whole week. He disconnects his cell phone and plays hard to get. This has happened for about twenty times now. I'm tired. This time I didn't ask him to come back. Now he is desperate, he wants to return but I don't want him to. Because I'm tired. I don't know what I feel anymore, I'm confused and I feel humilliated. He doesn't want a divorce, but I don't want him back. What should I do?

Answer 1

He played games with you. He made you feel guilty. He made you feel horrible. He makes you worried. I am sorry but no repecting husband would scare his wife like that. You don't do that to him, and he shouldn't be doing this to you. He needs to mature big time. If you don't want him. Then you don't need him.

Answer 2

Get over it, your 8 months pregnant.. Pregnancy makes women act a bit different. He was probably frusterated with you and the dog was probably just the last straw, he needed to get away and calm down and think about the situation. And the other thing i got to say on this one quit expecting him to act and do things the way you think he should, he is not you, he is going to do things his way. What i mean is for the situation it is up to him to determine wether 2 hours or all night is appropriate not you, you don't know how long it took him to cool down and for all you know if he came back after 2 hours he probably would have started fighting with you again. *edit* ok, listen here you spoiled little brat, your husband is who he is, the reason the two of you are fighting is because you seem to think you have the right to tell him what to do and what to think and that you can control his every thought and emotion. Sorry little girl people don't work like that, not even husbands, instead of sitting there thinking he should be doing this and that perhaps you need to be thinking i should stop trying to be such a manipulative little woman. After your last comment i wouldn't blame the guy one iota if he walked out the door and never came back.

Answer 3

from what i hear your husband has not grown up yet, a man would not jump up an leave he would sit down an work it out unless u r nagging him all the time about the same stuff if so u think about when he leave u know he is going some where ,where is that is that where he wanted to be any way,man an woman will start a fight so that we feel justifield to do what we wanted to any way do he realy love you or are you security i know you feel humilliated because every one see what he is doing to you an you keep letting him come back if you could have your cake an eat it to would you look in your heart can u live without him or are you missing him bad if i loved him an could not let go i would see him outside the house he still could not come home until he earn my trust back hope it work out 4 u any way u go.

Answer 4

Sounds like you are doing the right thing. I was going to tell you not to call him anymore but you did that already. If he comes back on his own, then let him know that you are tired of his child like acts and its making you less attractive to him and mabey he will get his butt in gear. Sorry to say this but if he is gone for a couple of days, do you think he might be with someone else ( like at a girlfriends)? I wish you the best and I hope this helped you a little.

Answer 5

Tell him if he promises to go to marital counseling with you you'll take him back and work things out. Don't fight with him at all. Save it for the counselor. Five years is too long just to flush down the tubes because he's being an ašš. Hopefully you guys will be able to meet in the middle, and he'll stop that inconsiderate and mentally abusive behavior. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 6

Try writing him a letter, even if you don't give it to him. It will help get things off your mind, and if after that you still don't want him back in your life, then you have to tell him that. It will hurt him, but it'd be better to hurt him now than to just let him sit there and wonder what's going to happen. Marriage is hard, everyone knows that and trying to decide if you should end it can be heart wrenching, for both sides. Think it through, maybe even talk, then make your decision.

Answer 7

If I could give you an answer to you're problem just by reading these few couple of sentences I'd be bald and arrogant and call myself Dr. phil. If you want to try and fix things up with your spouse i recommend you visit a marriage counselor. They'll try and help you sort out all the baggage and troubles that might be present. If your husband wants to save the marriage he'll agree.

Answer 8

Marriage isn't something that should just be discarded like the weekly trash. If something breaks - like your 5 yr-old car, you would never just throw it away.

Marriage is a life commitment. You and your mate made a vow - entered into a serious contract. It seems like you both have violated your contract with one another. You and your husband need counseling so that you can learn how to fix the broken things in your relationship and focus again on nurturing your love.

Answer 9

Honestly if he keeps ripping your heart out and stepping on it, then he deserves to wait until you know what you really want. If even a part of you believes you don't want him and his immaturity any more then you need to sort it out. Maybe in time you wont be angry and more and maybe in time you will realize you do want him back. You need to just let him know where your head and heart are at at the moment and tell him that he needs to deal with it. I mean he had no problem leaving for weeks at a time before... then he will have no problem waiting while you make up ur mind.

You are worth more then congfusion and heartache

Answer 10

My husband used to do this in his addiction. At first, I would call or try to find him. Eventually, I stopped responding when he did this. When he would come home, I would act as if nothing was wrong. I would not mention his absence. This definately got his attention as he realized that I was not going to play his game and that I was a big girl who could do life with or without him. He tried it a few more times before he got worried that my disinterest in him leaving meant I was disinterested in him. He did stop disappearing after that. When the time was right, I addressed the issue with him in therapy and we were able to work things out.

Answer 11

im completely understand where you are coming from. i was in a relationship for four years with a guy just like this. you should not stand for him to treat you this way anymore! this is very disrespectful to you. your husband has problems and there are much to great for you to fix. he needs to get professional help. you should not let him come back home. a husband that leaves everytime there is a problem, and shuts off his phone is just playing mind games with you. that is no way to live life! i know how hard it is to break away from this situation. but for your own sanity and mental health you must! this is not a normal relationship. and you have no idea what he is doing all this time he is gone. or who he is doing. find a way to get your strength and file for divorce. usually i would reccomend trying to save a marriage, but in this case, ive been there, and there is no salvage. there are other men out there who know how to treat a woman. this guy is not one!