Has anyone ever gave tough love to a love one?

Question

If so what was the outcome?

Answer 1

I give tough love to my children every time I spank them. Spanking is necessary for the vast majority of small children. When done properly it is the most effective tool in raising a well behaved, respectful child. My parents did it to me and I am thankful for it.
The trick to spanking being affective is that the first offense you give the child instruction of what they did wrong and what is the right way to do it. The second offense is when you give them a warning and instruction again. Have the child repeat the instruction back to you in their own words to make sure they understand. Give them a direct and clear warning that the next time they break that rule they will be spanked. The next time they do it take them to a secluded area away from everyone and explain to them they are going to get spanked for disobeying. Explain that they receieved instruction twice and a warning. Make the child apologize(admitting guilt and naming what they did wrong) for disobeying. Using a ping pong paddle you spank them on their bare rear end until they cry in a manner that shows regret for their actions. Usually 2 or 3 good swats will work, more may be required for particulaly stubborn children. Afterwards tell the child you are sorry you had to spank them, but that it is your responsibility to teach them how to be a good member of society and prevent them from growing up to disrespect authority. Hug them, tell them you love them and let them know it is over. The secret to spanking working is that it has to be consistent and it has to be an event. Simply swating them on the butt a few times when they upset you is the wrong way of doing it. You have to use Instruction, Warning with instruction, then Spanking with instruction, a required apology from the child(admitting they were wrong and saying what it was they did wrong)and then a reassurance that you love them and that it was for their own good that you did it.

Answer 2

I had to do this with my oldest when she was in her upper teens. We started to almost hate each other and we fought all the time. She decided during this time frame that she would go to visit her dad (he lives in another state). I told him that she was not allowed to come home for at least one year, she stayed for two. She didn't know about this until about a year after she came back home. It was the best thing I ever did for her as well as our relationship. We like each other again and she feels like I am her best friend. We are able to separate the between the two (parent/friend).
Mind you, I never stopped loving her but sure stopped liking her and the feeling was more than mutual.
I believe in tough love but some parents are to weak and give in to easily.

Answer 3

Several times and it is hard to stick to , but the outcome is always great .
If we are not tough on the ones we love they may never learn hard life lessons.

Answer 4

My mom and I have to give tough love to my brother all the time. He's a liar and he keeps trying to use us to get what he wants (and he owes us a lot of money). But we just tell him no. He still comes around wanting things, but all in all, it's much better for my mom and I that we do not help him. It makes him rely on other people and it helps him to see that he is not making it by doing what he's doing. It hasn't ruined our relationship with him at all. We all still love each other.

Answer 5

Yes, and it's usually not fun at first. It wont be fun or easy until the person who is receiving it grows up and takes responsibility for their actions.

My father was 40 something when he finally grew up and realized that his parents and my mother did him a huge favor by giving him tough love. My sister in law is receiving it from us right now, we even went as far as contacting DHS to have her baby taken away from her (she was nursing and shooting up at the same time, baby was in harms way). She is not talking to us at all unless she needs money, which each time we refuse leading to yet another fight.

I hope it's not as challenging for you and it doesn't take 20 years for this person to figure things out. But eventually they will.

Be strong, if there is alcohol or drugs involved, Al-Anon does wonders for a person giving the tough love and guides them through it.

Answer 6

My mom gives tough love to my sister so much, my sister doesnt like her that much anymore. They never really got along, but when my sister doesnt get what she wants, she throws a tantrum, so tough love goes down twice as hard (shes 15 not a toddler.)

Answer 7

Tough love is great in some situations. Especially younger adults who can't grow up about stuff. I went through the same thing and it worked.

Answer 8

I had to do that with my cousin who is 14.I had to send him to this juvenile center and when he came back he was still acting like a brat,so I got him some couseling,now he's 16 and is doing much better.Not running away,making good grades.It helped him

Answer 9

obviously i have had to furnish tricky like to my boyfriend some times =) and my father and mom gave it to me because i became type of a sneeky little woman! Or wild baby is what my mom referred to as me =0) i became her wild baby! LOL yet i'm all growed up and not in any respect as loopy as i became!

Answer 10

I had to call the police to my brother once because he tried to kill me in my sleep, and was threatening to burn our house down. He was 13 when this happened. Now, we get along fine. He's still an *** to our mom, but we get along.