My ex, who is crazy and always making false threats, threatened to kill himself today if I didn't let him see his daughter. He stalks me online and finds my myspace page and email addresses every time I change them and continues harrassing me. I have a protection order against him, but the cops won't do anything because he isn't putting my family in "immediate danger" by harrassing me online. They just tell me to block him, but then he creates a new account and starts again. The reason he cannot be in contact with our child is because he is diagnosed insane and has severe drug and alcohol problems and has harmed her in the past. I got a two-page message this morning from him about how I have ruined him and he is going to hang himself at 10 o clock tonight if I don't call him and give my daughter the phone. I think he's bullshitting me to try to scare me into doing it. He's done this before. Should I turn it over to the cops or just ignore it all together? I refuse to call him.
2006-11-02 07:50:25 · 27 answers · asked by Jennifer F 6 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
I was eighteen and stupid and he didn't act this crazy until further into our relationship. So yea, I did make a baby with this loony..
2006-11-02 07:55:08 · update #1
He has no rights to his daughter at all. He was stripped of all of them. The nature of the restraining order is actually to KEEP HIM from talking to or seeing her. WIthout going into details, I'm just going to say the courts thought she'd be better off.
2006-11-02 08:01:30 · update #2
Print the email, call the cops. Offer to forward the email. Your primary concern is your daughter and your relationship with her. If he does harm himself, you'll be able to tell her later that you did everything you could.
But you should close your MySpace page and any other blog, etc. Maybe even change your ISP, and block every address he's ever used. If he finds you again online, ask your ISP to block the actual address, etc, that he's using. That way if he wants to harass you he has to do it from the library or something, and in some places using public computers for that kind of thing is warrantable.
I hope you have some good support. Do you belong to a support group? Do you have a good network for you and your daughter? If not, start putting one together today. If this man survives his craziness this time, he may be in your life and your daughter's life for a long time. Start taking care of both of you today. I wish you both the best.
2006-11-02 08:06:14 · answer #1 · answered by Yogini108 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen -- any serious threat is worth turning over to the police; DO NOT call him at 10:00; you would be violating the no-contact order, and, depending upon your state, you may also be violating the law. A reasonable threat of suicide is something to report; perhaps, too, you can find a domestic violence center in your area.
They often have victim advocates or volunteer lawyers who may help you bring civil actions against your abuser.
Also, you have a protective order, but what is the nature of the order? Does it give you sole custody of the child? Physical care? This makes a difference. If you have a responsibility to let the guy see his kid, you can't secret away the child... that can be a violation of federal law. These are all issues you need to talk with a family law attorney, or victim advocate about.
Finally, YOU have to think about some self-protection and a safety plan. A woman who has been threatened for death by stabbing by her partner should not have a butcher block of knives on her kitchen counter. In the same way, you should NOT be publishing your e-mail address or contact information on-line! And DONT DONT DONT publish a myspace page. If you have communications to make with friends and relatives, make them in a SECURE, PRIVATE manner. Find a friend who you can trust who will be available if your ex does carry through with threats. Know how to leave your residence if he comes in. Be prepared! Yes, you're the victim, and no, it's not your fault, but the fact is that you need to take some action to protect yourself. A victim advocate at a domestic violence center can help prepare a safety plan.
Good luck.
2006-11-02 07:58:34 · answer #2 · answered by Perdendosi 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Print the msg he sent you and ignore his crazy *** and I do mean IGNORE HIM. If he wants to kill himself what do you care, you got the most precious package anyway right? The baby is safe in your arms and nothing else matters. Can you tell that I don't do crazy too well, I just don't have the patience for people like this, especially people who use threats to control me. Move on girl...be happy, just watch over your shoulder I don't know if he knows where you work or live, but if he is a bonafide nut then you may consider moving whether it be the next town or state whatever it takes...Good Luck.
2006-11-02 08:01:49 · answer #3 · answered by jupitor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's violating the protection order than maybe you should notify the police.
But if he founds out that you made the phone call he might realize that YOU are listening to what he has to say and he might be encouraged to do more.
It seems that he is just trying to get your attention.
The paramount priority for you is to protect your daughter.
How does he keep finding your MySpace page. You should probably delete that MySpace page and all references to yourself on the internet - at least for a long while that he gives up looking for you.
2006-11-02 07:54:34 · answer #4 · answered by ABC 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everytime another incident arises, you should always at least file a report. It might help you in the future if there are real records to back up any claims that may surface. For your sake and your childs, take some action, dismissing or ignoring can be very harmful.
2006-11-02 08:02:18 · answer #5 · answered by benzhowz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Even if he has done this before I would turn it, just in case. It probably is a possibility that he's bullshitting you but if this once he isn't you wouldn't want to live knowing you could have done something about it. And maybe with this evidence the police will be able to do more than they are.
2006-11-02 07:53:55 · answer #6 · answered by tisha j 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you let the police know he is going to try to kill himself, mental health authorities can take him into custody, and maybe he will have to stay in the hospital. That means no more harassing you. (Unless you think he might really kill himself and be out of your life forever...but you could only be so lucky.)
It's always better to be safe than sorry.
In addition, start keeping a journal of all these acts of harassment - names, dates, quotes, times, copies of anything written that he sends you. This could be very important later on...
2006-11-02 08:00:48 · answer #7 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
cops for sure
and even maybe an attorney
now
it needs to be down on the police's paperwork...just in case anything in the future happens..this way if you have to call them again..it shows a pattern going on..and it will not look like it just started..so keep making those reports to the police..and have them take it all down, and GET a COPY of the report for your records..
good luck
2006-11-02 07:52:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
circulate to a police station to be sure what you're able to do. Ask what style of technique you will possibly ought to circulate nevertheless (courtroom, lawyer expenditures etc.) And save time in concepts. you does no longer decide to allow this injury your first days as a newly wed. one way I chosen between A and B is turn a coin. As its in midair, which everybody you have been hoping for is the single you are able to desire to do.
2016-10-21 04:03:51 · answer #9 · answered by freer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, it sounds to me that you need to get your guard up. If you are telling all these things that are true you need to heed the warning and take it to the cops, seriously. You do not want this guy to be around you or your child or your family. Seriously, if he is talking about committing suicide he sounds really crazy and seriously tell the police.
2006-11-02 07:58:45 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Chocol@t3 K!$$3$♥ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋