how to help my marriage?

Question

My husband and I will be married for 7 years next Apirl.

our marriage is good but we never do anything together

we both work full time and never talk to each other unless it

is something about someone else. we have older children

(out of the house) this is not my first marriage but is his.

we still love each other just don't spend time together or talk to

each other we can set in the same room for hours and not say a

word to each other . I don't feel like our marriage is ending but

we all know the rule about 7 year. so can anyone tell me what I

need to do to help this marriage FYI tried Date nights didn't last

but two weeks

Answer 1

You both just need to MAKE the time to spend together. It doesn't have to be something as rigid as "date nights". If he's watching TV on the couch, go sit with him. If he's going for a walk or a jog, go with him. Share the chores and the shopping and such. Just make time for each other.

Answer 2

If date nights didn't work, try a weekend getaway to someplace neither of you have been. Communication is vital in any relationship. In order for it to continue working & growing. If the communication stops, the relationship will get stale & then you both will be asking, what's the point? My suggestion is to get out of the "norm". Step outside the box & do something neither of you have done before... go to the mountains & go fishing, or go sight seeing to the Grand canyon. If there's something you both are interested in, but have never tried it, then pull out all the stops & go for it. Life is too short to be sitting still, & it's especially too short to not be talking to eachother. Maybe you could bring up some good old memories, like when you started dating, or things you've seen or done along the way.
I think one key thing in a long time relationship is remembering the small things that most overlook. Heck, start "dating" again. Get all dressed up & have a night out on the town... try something a little different in the bedroom. Find some common ground & work from there.

Answer 3

This may be more serious than you think. Sounds like the relationship has become tired, uninteresting, routine, non-spontaneous. Sometimes people are interested to learn about the other, get married in the process and when there is nothing left to say, the chemistry dies. How's the bedroom action? Has either of you let yourselves get extra chubby? If it's the same old thing, missionary maybe once a week, then there is trouble. Philosophical differences in politics, religion, values, personality? It's time to get real. Make these date nights and week end get-a-ways, happen. Spontaneous sex in various positions is a must. You've got to make things happen, whereas there are topics to discuss and reasons to laugh. If he won't get involved and seems unenthusiastic or resistant, then it's time to see if the marriage is still working. What are his wants and dreams? If he's not sharing, then is he getting what he needs elsewhere?

Answer 4

See, the main issue with the "Well, a brother and sister residing co-dependently would benefit from the identical advantages" means that no 2 immediately humans have *ever* abused the wedding process after they were not in a romantic dating. But a sibling couple doing so might nonetheless be legally "married"; they might now not then, in flip, be allowed to marry any person they have been truthfully romantically serious about with out dissolving that partnership, with the entire authorized disorders a divorce can reason. I imply, I feel if a brother/sister pair (or brother/brother or sister/sister, have been homosexual marriage authorized) desired to go into right into a lifelong, non-romantic authorized partnership, definite, they would conceivably call for they be granted marriage rights. But such partnerships might be as an alternative few and some distance among, as I suppose the social stigma of annoying you be allowed to marry your sister might in general suppress that organization. A extra pertinent query might be on find out how to manage the quantity of individuals in a wedding. If marriage is unfolded from in which it's now, then there may be the query approximately whether or not polyamorous unions will have to be legally identified. And if we then increased marriage to permit, say, four participants, then what approximately polygamists who consider socially ostracized due to the fact they have got a five-manner dating? Polygamists and brothers short of to marry their sisters, nevertheless, represent a tiny, tiny fraction of American society. Homosexuals, even as nonetheless a minority, quantity some distance larger. Opening up marriage to identical-intercourse couples, I think, is a strategy to furnish those romantic pairings the identical authorized rights which might be presently loved by way of equivalent partnerships, even as minimizing the difference to the total process. Sure, the "slippery slope" argument can nonetheless be carried out, however simply due to the fact beginning up marriage to homosexuals would open up a higher can of worms doesn't suggest it's not a well and correct factor to do.

Answer 5

Ive been married 11 years and our life is quite like yours. Sadly most of the time we spend together is when one, or both of us, is asleep. We try to make time for each other as best we can, usually its weekends. We have tried to reorganize our work scehdules so we both work the same times, so no one is home alone. The date night thing sounds like a good idea, but two weeks may be too short to tell. We started with one or two nights a month, things are improving.

Are we the stereotypical "happy couple"? No. But we arent growing apart from each other as fast as we were. Good Luck . Feel free to contact me if you need futher details.

Answer 6

What are you doing that is causing the lack of conversation? Is the tv always on? Try putting some music you both like on, and play cards. Is there any tension between you two that isn't resolved? How about just asking him and expressing your concerns. Maybe get in the habit of having movie night , or cuddle when you watch tv. Or inviting people for game night. Express your feelings toward him and ignite a conversation. Shoulder rubs, pillow fights. Be bold. The best way to move forward is communication, and you can't have that if noone is willing to be honest. Best of luck to you!

Answer 7

Both of you need to have a long talk about what you want from your marriage and each other. Sounds like you are room-mates and not husband and wife.

The talk should uncover a list of things that need addressing and hopefully everything can be worked out and become a fruitful relationship.

Answer 8

If you don't do anything together and don't communicate, what is so good about the marriage? Marriage is based on two people communicating in honesty, trust and love for the common good of the other partner. You sound like you have a roommate, not a life partner in a husband.

Answer 9

The good news is that you are still together after 7 years.
Now, in order to stay together, I suggest that you take the time to write down the things that you both enjoyed in the beginning and the things that you enjoy now. Then discuss them one by one and try to start doing those things again. I would go as far as selecting certain subjects to discuss at least one night a week while the television is off.
Finally, you havve exposed your feelings to thousand of people, now (if you havn't already) expose them to your husband.

Answer 10

Relax, i think your stressing too much. Take a holiday , relax , go away to a day spa or somewhere where you both can chill out, haves some wine, go for a picnic. Remember the 1st time you met and what u did!. Tell him how you feel? I find it easy always talking about the things the person likes, for example i talk about cars etc something that he really into ? sports! . good luck hope everythign works out