im 19, and he is 21,, we have a baby and we got married last year,, but we're been 2gether for 4... he is in the military and now that we live by ourselves is like hell,,, when we fight he says that he hates me,, and that i bather too much,, but he soo inmature,, after work he plays x box 5 hours and he just wants me to cook and to take care of my 1 year old daughter,, we fight every day,, yestarday he hit me an he said i cant call the military police bcuz i used to hit him before,, so he told me taht they will take da baby away from us,, not only that,, i tried to talk to him every time we fight and he hates when i cry,, he gets even worse,, and next day is lyk nothing happend,, he litens to music, sings,, he looks happy,and ignores me completly,, i wanna save my marriage,,,i dont wan to give up so soon,, theres anythin i can do so he could realize how stupid is he acting... shoud i ignore him and stop cookin when we fight??? (llol)
2006-11-02 05:13:20 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should see the military about getting marriage counselling. Your destructive lifestyle is ultimately just harming the baby.
Good Luck
2006-11-02 05:15:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey where to start...1. You can call the MP's because they only care about his actions. They don't have the authority to take your child from you! 2. He's abusive and abuse always gets worse...never better! 3. Leave...Leave...Leave 4. After you have left than you can do some counseling if you want to save your marriage! 5. Abusers will say anything to get what they want and when you leave (because you will leave at some point...it may be when he beats you so bad that you think you are going to die or when you watch him hit your child) he will promise you the world! 6. Why would you let anyone treat you this way? You wouldn't take it from a stranger so why do you take it from him? This is the man that made a vow to love and cherish...how much does he cherish you? Doesn't sound like he does...You should be the most important person in his life...not his escape goat to get his anger out. He needs help hon and it sounds like you do to...if you don't want to leave now than start counseling now..the military provides this service to spouses so use it and if he gets mad about it...tough...he's causin it so he will have to deal with it! Oh and by the way if this gets out on base that he is abusive to his wife...trust me his unit, his commander, and any other service man that hears about it will not be kind to him. I am a wife of a veteran and have seen how some of these guys act and its not pretty but I do know that my husband fought in a war and never has taken his anger out on me or has ever raised a hand to me. He knows without a doubt that I deserve better than that and will not tolerate to be treated so badly! Hoped I helped!
2006-11-02 05:34:35 · answer #2 · answered by southernyankeeangel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get real help. Contact the base family services department and get some counselling. If he hits you, call the police, period. Tell him, that is he hits you, that you will call the police. They will noto take your baby away, they will not care if you hit him last month or last year or even yesterday. It doesn't look good for a military guy to hit his wife, so he should understand that he will get in big trouble if he does. So get counselling. If he won't go, then move out, you can't save a marriage that he won't help with. Good luck.
2006-11-02 05:18:31 · answer #3 · answered by xorosho 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear that! Your man, if you can call him that, has committed spousal abuse. This is a crime. He has broken the law. Most importantly he has physically and emotionally injured you and your child.
The first thing you need to do is to get away from him. Go to a family member or a shelter so they can help you. When a spouse is mentally and physically abusive this situation rarely gets better. In fact it usually gets worse and escalated into a life threatening situation.
He is instilling fear in you with false information about them taking your child and about you not being able to go to the police. Although they may take you child if you stay with him and they find the child is in danger too.
The fact that he has no remorse and acts like nothing happens means that he is in denial and obviously feels that it is OK to behave this way with no regards to your feelings.
Another thing which is terrifying to think of is that if he has no regard for your safety and your well being and your life then he will not have the same concern for your young child.
Anything you do that is against his wishes is going to anger him into the abuse again. He is mentally disturbed and THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT NOR WILL YOU BE ABLE TO FIX HIM!!!! THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!
For the safety of you and your young baby please get away from him now.
Good luck to you and I will be praying for you.
2006-11-02 05:29:37 · answer #4 · answered by miso1cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend, I come from an abusive marriage myself and let me suggest that you get out now. Unless you are abusive and neglectful of your child more than likely the courts will not take your child away. And let me also suggest that you get someone to take pictures of any bruises that he leaves on you. He is using fear to manipulate you. Because he is in the military does not mean that he can be found guilty of domestic abuse. You call the police next time he hurts you. I also suggest that you let your parents know what is going on if this is possible. Unless you both are willing to seek counseling then I do not see this getting better...only worse.
2006-11-02 05:17:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Go to his commanding officer, He will get help you hitting him in the past has nothing to do with him hitting you. You two need to get help before you seriously damage the health and mental happiness of your baby. Not to mention your happiness. Sometimes it's hard to mesh two different life's not to mention him being in the military is one of the most stressful jobs there is.
2006-11-02 05:24:33 · answer #6 · answered by harmony moon 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
call the cops. if they do take the baby away...it might just be a good thing. both of you need to get your issues taken care of before you distruct the life of this new child. and yes, if you really want, you can change and get your baby back by taking the necessary steps of counseling. if he hits you, call the cops. they will arrest him. not you. as long as you didn't hit him. if you hit him before, it's his bad for not reporting it at the time.
2006-11-02 05:19:55 · answer #7 · answered by Bella 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I rarely give a sensible answer.
But I think you need to sort yourselves out. The only thing your trying to save is your marriage, which is a word. You don't sound like you want to save the relationship, so man up and move on.
2006-11-02 05:18:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
girl he is getting controlling and if he is starting to hit you then it's going to get worse, your daughter should'nt be in the middle of all this you need to do what is best for her future. your husband does not love you if he did you would'nt be treated this way.
i have seen my husbands aunt get treated the same way, and it only got worse, the longer you stay the worse it will get. but she finally left after he crushed her cheek bone in, and they have 4 children, she got tired of seeing the kids crying, screaming for daddy to stop. the kids are now much happier and safer than ever! please do whats best for you and your baby, the longer you stay with him, the sooner you will get hit again, or put down, etc....
please, please, please leave him he is not worth holding on to !!!
2006-11-02 05:28:53 · answer #9 · answered by hugabug72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a really good lawyer and divorce the idiot, because if he curses at you and beats on you that is wrong. You need to leave him and take everything he got because he does not deserve you and find a man that is willing to take care of you better.
2006-11-02 05:16:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋