Gays and lesbians feelings are intentional or unintentional? Who are at fault? Man or God?

Question

I am a professionally qualified, well settled 32 years old male, from well cultured family. I have a weakness, seems to be peculiar. I am longing for a gay relationship with matured man say above 50 years. At the same time I do not want to be touched my younger man say less then 45 years. I am easily tempted by grey haired, bald headed man. I know that this is wrong. But I couldn’t give up this habit. I am a Christian, wish to be a Christian missionary. But I fall easily in this sin. Two years back I got married. Honestly speaking I have sex life with my wife. For me it is not enjoyable. At the same time I love her too. I love to have family on my own. Gay feelings are discreet. I think I have this feeling right from my childhood. Even though I like (not full heartedly) to come out of this habit I couldn't I just wanted to know why God has created me like this? Who is at fault, me or God? Being a gay, can I serve God as missionary? I would like to have references from Bible.

Answer 1

Sweetheart, yes. The answer is yes. The Bible also says adulterous women should be stoned (but not men) and it's against God to have sex with a woman while she's on her period. (for interesting reading, read Leviticus chapter 19... there's a lot of stuff that's said to be unlawful in the eyes of God that we have no problem with today).

First of all, you are harming your wife as much as yourself by carrying on this charade.

Furthermore, a recent study proved that gay men reacted in the same way that women did when smelling male pheromones. The link is provided. This points to a biological basis for homosexuality.

Don't feel bad about it, hon. There is nothing worse in life than living a lie. Don't let your guilt ruin you and your wife.

I'm including two links in my source: One is for the Gay Christian Network. It is a non-profit group that supports men and women in your particular situation. Please visit this site, it provides very specific information and can lead you to a better life decision for you and your wife.

The other is about the aforementioned pheromones study, published a bit back in the NY Times.

Good luck, and God bless.

Answer 2

The first thing I think you should do is to go for some counseling. You seem to have some issues that you feel homosexuality is a sin, it's wrong, etc etc and I think some counseling could help you come to terms with who you are.

I think you need to be honest with your wife and separate from her. The absolute worst thing you could do at this point is to have kids. I think it's wrong to be deceiving your wife for the sake of you being able to hide your homosexuality behind the marriage, and if you really do love her, you should do something about it a.s.a.p..

I wish you the best and I hope everything will work out for you.

Answer 3

no one is at fault, in the bible it says homosexuality is a sin right? right...but doesn't it also say adultery is a sin? and cheating, and lying and stealing, and loving anything more than your god. the point being we are all going to be judged for our sins in this world and in god's eye (it says this in the bible) all sin is the same. so the christian who belittles you for being gay more than likely has a sin they are hiding and come judgment day you will be judged equally. also consider not one of us, gay, straight or whatever are perfect so the judgment line will be very long and the line where those who are perfect will be empty. don't judge yourself too harshly for your feelings you are only a human being, god loves you still and always will. the most important thing is you have not turned away from god at any point, in fact you seemed to have continually sought him out and that is a rarity in this world. as for being able to serve god being gay, absolutely yes and i am hopeful you will because the world needs more caring, compassionate and loving people like yourself, gay or not.

btw those who are saying you are damned are passing judgment on you and are guilty of the sin of judgment...

Answer 4

Oh my goodness.... You grabbed my heart strings right off because of your personal battle with your feelings vs. the right and wrong of Christianity. Have you considered doing a little research on the MCC web site? It stands for Metropolitan Christian Community (or Church?). Start there and look at some of the Q&A's that are on that site. It helped me so much. I sympathize with you as I have battled with this my own self. Feel free to message me through Answers. Maybe we can swap emails and see if we can't find some peace for you.

Answer 5

I am sorry for the struggle that you are feeling. What you are is, as far as we can tell, what you are.

Actually there is a great deal of scientific evidence that it is inborn. Beyond scientific evidence there is anecdotal evidence.

The fruit fly study is actually fairly conclusive. But the pheremonal and eye blink studies are also compelling. I've included links below for those that are interested. Beyond that, research increasingly suggests that at least for males, Xq28 is the crucial gene. I am saddened by this, because I believe that once it is proven, gay people will be wiped out -- and I think that is sad, because given the number of species in which homosexuality exists (see Dr. Bruce Bagemihl's book "Biological Exuberance" from St. Martin's Press) I think it serves a purpose.

In addition to scientific evidence is the anecdotal evidence. I never in my life had any sexual feeling for a female -- nor any romantic feelings. I have had romantic feelings for other males since 8. I figured out it was sexual at 11 and came out at 14. I never felt anything for girls, neither do other gay males I know. Some boys manage to suppress it for a time, but when it comes out they admit to having always had the feelings. Likewise for bisexuals, although bisexuals always have feelings for both, and therefore are capable of choice -- for real. Gays are no more capable of choice than straights are.

I would ask you to be thoughtful before you read my response further. I have no desire to upset you, and many people do not actually want to learn -- they only want what they already think reinforced. That is not bad. It is OK to not want to question or learn, totally OK. If you want to be able to think critically and are willing to question what you have been taught, then read on -- if you aren't willing -- then stop reading my response now.

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The Bible speaks out directly about a lot of things. It says that the world has corners (Isaiah 11:12) and that it sets on pillars (I Samuel 2:8). It says that God accepted a human sacrifice -- he may have prevented Isaac's, but he allowed a general to sacrifice his own daughter without even a murmur, the text giving tacit support to the idea that having given his word, the man had to kill his child. (Judges 11:30-39). It clearly maintains that genocide is often commanded by God (Joshua 10:40-42 and I Samuel 15: 2, 3 and 8) and that, after killing all the adults in a race, taking the female children as sex slaves is permissible (Numbers 31: 17-18).

The God revealed by the Bible is not only both a liar who doesn't know the natural laws of his own world, and a monster, as shown above -- but he has no real regard, even for his own people, whom he forces into cannibalism (Leviticus 26: 27-29) when he is mad at them; or his priests, whose faces he wipes with dung (Malachi 2:1-3).

It is not only gays and lesbians that are hated by biblegod. This monstrosity also suggests killing kids who eat or drink too much (Deuteronomy 21: 18-21), and if he is angry with parents he will kill their children (Leviticus 26:22) and blame things upon children whose great-great-great grandfather committed the things being blamed on the kids (Exodus 20: 5).

Putting it in a word, biblegod is a monstrosity, a horrific demiurge of evil. Something that even he admits ( Isaiah 45:7 ) [Furthermore, the word used in Hebrew for evil, the word ra' is widely conceded to mean a number of different things: It can mean "wickedness," "mischief," "bad," "trouble," "hurt," "sore," "affliction," "ill," "adversity," "harm," "grievous," and "sad." So no matter what particular interpretation is given of this word -- it has profoundly negative implications. The idea that god is sovereign over the affairs of man makes this even worse, because no matter what interpretation it has, it indicates that biblegod deliberately does harm.]; evil about which he sometimes changes his mind (Exodus 32:14). What a font of unchanging morality -- that almighty God can decide to kill an entire people, and then be talked out of it by a human servant... Furthermore, it is obvious, if God can change his mind, then even if the Bible were not full of errors and horrors, you could not trust that God had not changed his mind on any other issue in it.

So, yes, I suppose if one wants to take as truth a book that says that beetles have four legs instead of six (Leviticus 11: 21-23) and that rabbits chew their cud [which they do NOT] (Deuteronomy 14:7) and if you are willing to, having accepted it as truth, overlook the fact that biblegod routinely changed his mind (I can show you other instances if you wish) then yeah, I suppose its words would matter. and in that case, you cannot, I suppose, be both a missionary and a homosexual, even in your heart.

I on the other hand, while a Christian (as in Christ follower) am NOT a literalism, and do not think that a book of bronze age myths owing heavily to the Sumerian and Egyptian mythology in the Old Testament and to a collection of pagan faiths, particularly Mithraism in the New Testament matters at all. Many churches agree with me, at least substantively. Become a UCC missionary if you wish to be a missionary (United Church of Christ) or join one of the other liberal denominations. It will all be fine. Write if you need to talk, I've included my email below.

Regards,

Reynolds Jones
Schenectady, NY
http://www.rebuff.org
[e-mail]

Answer 6

There is only one unpardonable sin, and it isn't being gay. Being gay and having sex outside the marriage is no different than committing murder. Even a foolish thought is sin. We all sin. Anyone who says that there are major differences in the sins, is wrong. It may, to some, appear more wrong than others, ie; murder, etc., but that is the human way of seeing things. God loves us all, and by the way, Jesus didn't come to save the saints, he came for the sinners. Yes, you can serve God, because, as I have said, we are all sinners. Good Luck and God Bless!!!!

Answer 7

Being that you are knowledgeable of God you should know that God would never create a damned soul. You chose to have these homosexual urges but you have to suppress them. Just like a married man who has a sexual urge for a woman other than his wife he has to suppress his feelings also. It is a choice and you have proven that because you are married to a woman so it is possible to suppress these feelings. Listen to God and follow your heart do not do what you know is sinful and wrong. God Bless.

Answer 8

I am not here to judge, but God has never made a gay male or gay female. He formed the creation of the earth wth first a male (ADAM), and then from Adam's rib a female (Eve). Being gay is a demon that we allow to get in us.

"And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet." ROMANS 1:27.

"If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an adomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them." LEVITICUS 20:13.

I think it's great that you want to do missionary work, but you can't serve God and be gay. You have to make-up in your mind what you want more. A season of pleasure with a man that can only lead to an empty feeling,or an eternity in Heaven with Jesus, the one who died for you. Really begin to pray and ask God to clean your heart and save you from yor sins, because it may be harsh, but being gay will only send you to HELL. God Bless!!

Answer 9

You ask this question as if you could go the life's customer service counter and get a response. But believe me, you won't get the answer you want here. I would suggest that you talk to a counselor.

Answer 10

The current educated thought on Homosexuality is that it is both genetic and societal. From reading your statement you psychologically are longing for a father figure.